


Rise Up

by ohNooOOOOoo



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Anxiety, Child Abuse, Foster Family, Gen, High School AU, M/M, Panic Attacks, Past Sexual Abuse, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-22
Updated: 2016-05-12
Packaged: 2018-05-22 13:04:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 58,656
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6080439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ohNooOOOOoo/pseuds/ohNooOOOOoo
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Alex made it to America, he thought things would be better. Not that he would be put in one shitty foster home after another. When he is brought to the Washington's home, he doesn't expect anything to be different. Alex knows he will have to watch his back, the only person he can trust is himself. He learned that lesson the hard way.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. One

 

 

If there was one thing that could describe Alex at this point in his life, it would be “over it.” He glared harshly at the wall in front of him, trying not to give into the anxiety that had settled into his stomach like hot coals. It really wasn’t his fault that he was kicked out of another home, not when the foster parents were abusive pieces of shit. He had the bruises on his ribs to prove it. This time it wasn’t even something he did wrong. He had kept to himself since being placed with the Chater’s, Alex had learned what attention warranted. But he sure as hell wasn’t going to let that asshole hit one of the younger kids…or worse. He swore to himself that it would never happen again if he could stop it.

He bit his lip in agitation, wincing when he opened the cut that had just begun to heal over. The air condition kicked on and Alex sunk further into the uncomfortable plastic chair, despite his aching ribs, trying to get away from the chill. He couldn’t remember the last time he actually felt warm, probably before his mother died and he was forced to leave Nevis.

Shaking his head, trying to get rid of the intrusive memories of his past, Alex began to wonder what was going to happen next. He had naively thought when he had been allowed to leave the Caribbean and come to America, things would get better. Now a year has passed since entering the country and he had found everything to be less than stellar. The freedom that this nation proclaimed it had was hard to receive, especially when you were a bastard, orphan, immigrant who knew too much, and had twice as much to say. A shiver passed through his body. This had been Alex’s second foster home since arriving, the Chater’s were nothing compared to the Atkinson’s. He was no stranger to hardship, hell at this point he could write a book on it. Between his mom, the hurricane and his cousin, Alex didn’t think there could be another trial that would equate to those horrors. He hadn’t known Mr. Atkinson then. 

That first house…thinking about it made his throat close in shame and fear. That first foster family had really taken a toll on him. The Atkinson’s had all the makings of the perfect foster home. They had sure fooled the system into thinking so. They were kind, clean, and had enough room for Alex and seemed to welcome him with open arms. The newness of America and the newness of this family had blinded Alex too. He was street smart; he had to be to have survived the Islands and everything that happened there. In the beginning, when things weren’t too bad, Alex believed that this was his shot. He was going to rise above his life of squalor and academically blow everyone away. His test scores and work ethic would prove that nothing could stand in the way of Alex and his ambition. The world was at his fingertips, and he was grasping at the edges tightly.

So, when Mr. Atkinson’s hands lingered a little too long on Alex’s shoulders in praise, and his gaze loitered on his person with a hungry intensity that made Alex’s skin crawl, he ignored it. The signs were there, if Alex had paid attention, he would have never let things escalate so far. He would have fought his way out of that house tooth and nail; he would have used his fists as well as his words to get away. He could have fought his way out. He could have. In the end he did, but not without the scars to prove he survived the ordeal.

_ That’s why I’m in trouble now  _ he thought to himself, clenching and unclenching his trembling fists, wincing at his bruised knuckles. He couldn’t have done anything different, he had to stay strong,  _ stand up for what’s right, even if it means I’ll fall. _

Alex hated Child Protective Services; the whole building reeked of the desperation of overworked employees who didn’t have enough energy or means to help all the kids who ended up in their care. The place was run down, underfunded, and frightening. Alex was tough, he had lived through a lot in his sixteen years, but seeing this place, being _in_ this place left him feeling empty. He was always cold, the temperatures of New York were drastically different than any place he had lived in the Caribbean. The combination of emotions that this place created left Alex feeling small and alone. Trying to stop himself from panicking and make sure his heart didn’t beat out of his chest, he began counting his breaths _. One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._

His fingers began to twitch, his leg already tapping on the ground. He had been waiting for hours. His case worker, a harried old man with a bald head who demanded to be called Mr. Fairfax, came to the hospital earlier that morning to retrieve him. He had cast one look at Alexander and shook his head in disappointment. Alex couldn’t blame the man, he had never told him what happened at the other house, he refused to. His case worker had retrieved Alex in a worse state at the hospital a few months prior. Without an explanation from Alex, Mr. Fairfax had probably assumed that Alex had picked a fight with someone and the Atkinson’s refused to house a delinquent. The Chater’s were another example of Alex messing up a perfectly good foster home,  _ again _ .

Alex could hear Mr. Fairfax’s muffled voice through the walls of his office. Whomever he was speaking to seemed amiable if the tone of Mr. Fairfax’s voice was anything to go by. Alex looked down at his lap, interlacing his fingers together to hide the tremors. God. He could not handle another bad house, how was he suppose to reach his potential if he had to look over his shoulder every moment of every day? Alex’s breath caught in his throat as the door to Mr. Fairfax’s office began to open. He had found somewhere for Alex to go, Alex closed his eyes tightly, sending a silent prayer that things would be better this time.

00000000000000000000

The inside of Mr. Fairfax’s car is pleasant, he has the heat on full blast even though Alex can see the beads of sweat gathering at the caseworkers temples. He appreciates the gesture, he still feels cold, Alex doesn’t think that will ever go away. He leans his head against the frigid window, ignoring how it makes him shiver, and stares at the piles of snow that had been plowed earlier that morning. He couldn’t believe this was happening. Not only was he leaving the city, he was being dropped off out of state.

Leaning back in his seat, Alex nervously ran a hand through his hair. When something went wrong this time, nobody could come get him. Not in time, at least. Alex could feel his heartbeat speed up. He bit his lip, wincing, and tried to control his breathing. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._ This was something that began after his mom died, Alex didn’t want to admit it to himself, but it had definitely gotten worse lately. Between the Atkinson’s, the Chater’s and now leaving the state to go to Virginia of all places, it wasn’t surprising that his anxiety had skyrocketed. It was perfectly reasonable, but a part of him was still ashamed. Alex knew coming to America was going to hard, but he never realized how hard. He missed his mother, he missed Nevis, he missed the daily routines and he missed not feeling so damn _cold_ all the time. His chest constricted and he closed his eyes tightly. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._

“Mr. Hamilton, I know you’re probably nervous,” Mr. Fairfax’s voice breaks the silence that had blanketed the car for the majority of the trip, making Alex jump, “but there is no reason to be. I have known George for many years. They don’t normally take in foster children, but I managed to convince them otherwise. If anyone can help straighten you out, it would be him and his wife Martha.”

Alex tensed, this home would be no better than the last. Especially if Mr. Fairfax had given this man the details that he believed to be true about his previous foster families. He turned back to the window, once again leaning his head against it, glaring at the road passing by. It wasn’t fair. He tried to be good, he really did. Alex excelled in everything he touched, but it wasn’t enough. The cosmos keep playing with him and wouldn’t let him exist without strife. The silence settled in the car, and Alex counted his breathing _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois, inspirer._

0000000000000

He would have tried to sleep on the way there, but sleep never came easy to the teenager and it was not about to start on a day like today. So the hours passed, Alex glanced over to the man on the other side of the car, determining he was paying him no mind, Alex reached for the worn out backpack that rested at his feet. He wanted to write to his mother, perhaps putting what had happened on paper would give Alex the clarity and courage he needed to get through the rest of the day.

“Don’t take anything out Mr. Hamilton, we will be arriving promptly.” Alex cringed away from his belongings as if he had been burned. He had been sure the man wasn’t paying him any mind. He had been sure of it.

Alex folded his hands in his lap and held as still as possible, he hated this. Being scared. He could defend other people with his  _ fists _ , with his  _ words,  _ but when it came to doing the same for himself, he couldn’t seem to do it. Not since his mother died, she was his strength. Her pride made him strong and feel invincible. He was never afraid to speak his mind, not when he knew she would always be on his side. Even when the other people in Nevis didn’t like what he was saying, he still stood up for what he believed in. He may have been young, but Alex was smart. He had read everything that the island had to offer and was always longing for new information. Knowledge became an unquenchable thirst and his mother doted on him as best she could. Being a single mother in an impoverished area was hard on their little family of two, but Alex didn’t know any better. This was all he had ever seen, though he was determined that it would not be all he would ever see. Then his mother got sick, his cousin killed himself and when Alex thought the worst had to be over the hurricane hit and through the devastation he was able to seek refuge in America. He dazzled the right people with his intelligence and though his heart was broken from all that he lost, he knew this was his shot to make something of himself. To make his mother proud. To make  _ himself  _ proud. Yet, here he was in the passenger seat of a car not even able to take out his notebook.

“We’re here, Mr. Hamilton.” Mr. Fairfax announced as the car slowly ascended towards a gateway, a gravelly path surrounded by snow banks flanked each side. Mr. Fairfax stuck his head out the window and spoke into an intercom, and the tall iron gates began to open.

Alex looked up from his hands, their car had pulled through the opening. Gates were never a good sign, no matter how well crafted they may seem. They were a cage, whether the owners knew it or not.  _ A way to separate people, us and them,  _ Alex thought to himself worriedly. No. Gates were not a good sign. Steeling himself for the worst, Alex fought to keep his mouth closed as he saw the estate that laid ahead. The snow was thick on the mansion that rested on the hill, but it was not so deep that Alex couldn’t make out the distinctive red roof of what apparently was the Washington estate. It was by far the biggest place that Alex had ever seen, and to house one family. He couldn’t believe it. They drove up the long stretch of land to get to the house, and the nearer they got, the figures of two people standing at the front of the house began to emerge.

He knew that this was going to be difficult, Alex had never experienced anything that was easy when it came to other people. Sure, the written word and writing were two things he understood. Words poured out of his soul and raced into his hand. He created cathedrals out of paragraphs, Alex knew he had talent. Knew if he could reign it in and focus it in the right direction he would be unstoppable. He grasped the strap of his backpack as the car came to a stop, looking past the couple that stood at the entrance of the house were the words “Youth Is The Seed Time Of Good Habits, As Well In Nations As In Individuals” embroidered on the doorway between two large columns.

_ Thomas Paine?  _ Alex considered the residence that laid in front of him, the fenestration of the house held a rustic elegance that reflected on the land pleasantly. Wide windows, a bright white paint job that wasn’t dampened by the snow that lay surrounding the home. It was lavish, beautiful, and it set Alex on edge. The Atkinson’s home had been really nice too,  _ just because the picture is pretty doesn’t mean the inside isn’t rotten to the core,  _ Alex thought to himself firmly. The fact that they had a quote by someone Alex held in high regard wouldn’t make a difference, he knew he would have to watch his back.

“Alexander,” Mr. Fairfax was staring at Alex with an indecipherable look, “you’re a smart boy.’ Alex glared, he wasn’t a kid, he didn’t need to be told he was smart by this man. He  _ knew  _ he was smart, “but you have made some poor decisions lately.’ Alex could feel his heartbeat again, rage and hurt simmering under his skin, “I want you to understand that there were many strings pulled to get you this chance. Washington is an old friend of mine and he was willing to let you live here, he has always been respectable in the way of generosity. Make no mistake, you won’t get away with the behaviors you’ve exhibited in other homes.”

Alex crossed his arms tightly over his chest, he stood by his actions. He couldn’t have stayed at either of those homes, he was glad they had thrown him out. Mr. Atkinson had beat the shit out of him when he realized Alex wouldn’t cooperate with his sick game and left him at the hospital saying he couldn’t allow a boy as “violent” as Alex to live with his family. Too shocked by the events that had unfolded, he hadn’t tried to defend himself of the accusations. Alex had withdrawn from people completely after the Atkinson household, it wasn’t worth it. People use you or they die, there was no reason to become attached. 

There was, however, a reason to stand up for others who couldn’t do it for themselves. If Alex had to be one of those two options, he was going to be used and he was going to be used on his own terms. His words were his first line of defense, if those weren’t enough he would use his fists. Alex wasn’t big, but he was scrappy. He had never had much of an appetite, he had grown up poor, and the effects of his forgetfulness towards meals was reflected by his short stature. The dark sunken shadows that surrounded his eyes left no doubt that the echoes of his past haunted him at night. His hair, long and tied back most days, was occasional left loose to give him a bigger appearance. Alex had never been big in a physical sense, but his passion had made him immensely large in whatever room he happened to be in. At least that’s how it had been in Nevis, in this country he couldn’t  command the same respect. Nobody wanted to listen to an orphan immigrant who had a slight accent when he became passionate, especially one that was sixteen.

“…and taking the time to take you here today has put a lot of strain on the others at CPS, Alexander. We want every one of our wards to be successful and have a bright future, and this is your best shot. Understand that and don’t make the same mistakes.” Mr. Fairfax finished his “farewell” speech, Alex resisted saying something he would regret. The first time he had heard a version of this, Alex was conflicted. He was grateful for the opportunity but ashamed of the work Mr. Fairfax had put into finding him a place to stay. Now, with knowledge and experience he wished every sleepless night he didn’t have, he held his tongue from challenging the man for complaining about how he had to do his  _ job _ . When this home inevitably crashed and burned, Mr. Fairfax had to come back and get him, he couldn’t put that at risk.

Taking Alex’s silence as agreement, Mr. Fairfax turned off the car. “Alright Mr. Hamilton, let’s go meet your new foster parents.”

Unbuckling his seatbelt, and ignoring the instant chill that came with opening the car door, Alex swallowed hard. This was going to be another disaster, he could feel it. Stepping outside of the car and into the light snow that covered the walkway, Alex suppressed another shiver as a gentle wind caressed his face before flitting away. The light touches of the wind always reminded him of his mother, but it didn’t offer any comfort in this moment. Shouldering his bag, he bit his lip, the pain from the recently healed cut flaring uncomfortably giving him something to focus on. His ribs twinged as he followed Mr. Fairfax up the stairs. All the aches and bruises made Alex’s mind settle, he could handle this. Whatever was to happen he could handle it. 

“George! Martha! It’s good to see you.” Mr. Fairfax greeted the couple who stood in the doorway. Alex followed closely behind, not looking up from his shoes.

“Donald, it’s good to see you as well. How are  the children, Janet and little Maureen ?” The woman had a gentle voice as she exchanged small talk with Mr. Fairfax.  _ Martha,  _ Alex corrected in his head absentmindedly. He was stuck on the fact that Mr. Fairfax had a family, it was strange to think that the man existed anywhere else other than behind his cluttered desk. 

“Janet is doing well, starting a family of her own believe it or not. She’s due in the next few weeks, it’s a boy. Little Maureen just graduated college and is following in her old man's footsteps. She got hired in Manhattan just this past week, we are very proud.” Mr. Fairfax was gloating, Alex didn’t need to look up to know that the man was gesturing with his hands to make the news seem bigger than it was. Alex couldn’t help the pang of jealousy he felt at Mr. Fairfax bragging about his daughters. He didn’t care for the man, or  _ about _ the man. It shouldn’t matter who he was talking about. 

“Hello Alexander,” The deep voice startles Alex out of his thoughts and he can’t help but flinch, the man, _George,_ is looking at him. He can feel it. His heart begins to speed up. O _ne, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois j’expire._ “Son,”

Alex tore his gaze away from the ground and with a glare spat, “I’m not your son.” If the man was shocked by the vehemence in his voice, he showed no sign. The man’s eyes were calm and his lips quirked slightly, as if Alex has said something amusing.

“Of course, excuse me.” He held out his hand, “You can call me George. This is Martha,” he gestured to his wife, who was looking at Alex with a smile. It was kind, but sad. He didn’t know how to feel about that. “we’re happy that you’re going to be staying with us.”

Alex knew the polite thing to do would be to shake the man's hand. After all, when Mr. Fairfax left he was truly on his own. Alex had already made a misstep when he called Washington out on calling him son. It was a sore spot in his life that never quite healed. He grasped George’s hand firmly, ignoring the pain of his bruised knuckles. The man seemed to observe him closely for a moment. His eyes regarded Alex’s face, pausing at his split lip and giving him a curious look before letting go.

Alex had to hold back a shudder, nobody knew what happened at the other houses. He hadn’t told a soul. With one look from George, Alex felt exposed. Like this man somehow knew the truth without him saying anything. He crossed his arms, shivering.

Seeing the boy shiver, Martha began to gesture towards the door, “Why don’t we go inside and get you settled in Alexander. Are you coming in Donald?”

Mr. Fairfax politely declines, “No ma’am, I best be off. I have quite a drive ahead and I want to get back before it gets dark.” He shakes George’s hand and turns his attention to Alex, who, for the first time today meets his gaze head on. Mr. Fairfax gives him a final look, one filled with pity and relief. “Remember what we discussed Mr. Hamilton, do try to behave yourself. I don’t want to make this drive again anytime soon, the roads are dangerous.”

He leans forward to pat Alex on the shoulder but Alex takes a step back, with realization. He was leaving him here in an unknown area with strangers. As far as Alex was concerned, the fragile relationship the two had shared was over. He wouldn’t come back for Alex, not unless he was forced to. Who could make him when Alex was over four hours away? Out of sight and out of mind. CPS had plenty of kids to deal with that were right in front of them, Alex wasn’t stupid. This was the last time he would see this caseworker. As the man waved a goodbye, Alex glared angrily.  _ I shouldn’t have held my tongue. _

A few moments passed, as Alex and the Washingtons watched Mr. Fairfax and his car disappear down the gravel path. The silence was broken by Martha who ushered everyone inside the house. Standing in the entryway, Alex could feel the warmth of the home. It did nothing to calm his nerves or lessen the ice in his veins. Washington cleared his throat and clapped his hands together gently, gaining Alex’s attention with a slight flinch, making George frown slightly before speaking. 

“Okay Alexander, we know that the past couple of days have been rough,” George paused, giving Alex a searching look before continuing, “but we have a few house rules we need to discuss. Then we can go ahead and get you settled in.”

Alex tensed, of course there were going to be rules. There were always rules, especially for a place as nice as this. He glanced around the area with interest; the entrance seemed to lead right into the family room. The walls were aligned with books, some of the titles Alex recognized.  The outside of the estate was nothing compared to the inside. It was just as elegant but actually had a homey feel, something none of his previous foster homes had ever come close to having. It put him on edge, he couldn’t get comfortable or become complacent.

George cleared his throat again, Alex’s eyes turned towards the man hastily. Seeing that he had the boy's attention, he continued. “We only have a few, don’t worry. You’ll learn them in time if you don’t get them all now.” Alex resisted the urge to roll his eyes, he wasn’t going to need things repeated. He would remember what George said, if he decided to follow the rules would be a different matter altogether.

Martha must have seen something in his eyes because she interrupted George before he could continue, “Sweetheart, I’m sure that Alex is exhausted. Why don’t we give him tonight to settle in and we can talk about all of this tomorrow? What do you say Alex, is that okay with you?”

“I would rather know what they are now if it’s all the same.” Alex responded honestly, glancing into the kind woman’s eyes before dropping his gaze. She seemed surprised that he actually responded, he couldn’t blame her he was shocked himself. She smiled softly and gave her husband an unreadable look, “Alright, I’m going to go get supper started. Let me know if you need anything Alexander.” She spun on her heel, stopping briefly to kiss George on the cheek.

The next hour was filled with a tour of the house along with the explanation of the house rules. George kept an easy stride as he explained and by the time they got to Alex’s room, he was exhausted and overwhelmed though valiantly trying to hide it. George must have seen through the façade that the teenager was trying to pull, “Alexander, I know things have been hard.” Alex shot George a look. Hard wasn’t even scraping the surface. “You are unbelievably strong to have made it this far, and I’m proud that you’ll be staying with us.”

Alex looked at the man with disbelief, “You don’t even know me.”

The man smiled gently, “I hope to, you’re a bright kid Alexander. You have the test scores to prove it. I can see the spark behind your eyes, son. I hope that you will realize that your stay here will allow you the opportunity to ignite that into a flame. The world is at your fingertips. Martha and I are here to help in anyway we can, because we believe in you.” Alex was blown away, he couldn’t believe the kindness these people were showing him. What did it all mean? There was going to be a cost. There always was. Every action has an equal, opposite reaction. They were playing nice now but there was nobody to impress. Alex’s mind became frantic, what was the  _ purpose  _ of these niceties. What would he have to give back in return? The Washingtons couldn’t just want Alex to succeed, there had to be more to it than that.

“Now, this is your bedroom,” Washington cut the boy's frantic thoughts by opening a white door. He gestured slightly, urging Alex with his eyes to walk in. Noticing the panic in the boys face, George decided to give the kid a reprieve. “it doesn’t have much as far as decorations, but we can pick up anything tomorrow when we go out to get your school supplies. Why don’t you settle in and unpack. We’ll call when dinner is ready.” 

 

00000000000

In the hour that dinner took to get ready, Alex had combed over his entire bedroom. Pulling open all the dressers drawers, rummaging in the empty closet, inspecting the bathroom and comforter that sat on his bed. He was keeping his hands busy, his mind racing. He didn’t believe these people, he couldn’t believe these people. When Washington told him the ‘rules’ for the house, Alex ran his hands through his hair in agitation and disbelief.

_ “Respect our boundaries and we will respect yours. Martha and I aren’t here to hinder you, Alexander, we want to help. Being honest with us when things are bothering you or you need something is just as important as respecting one another in this household. Follow these rules and we will have no problems. ”  _

It didn’t make sense. These weren’t rules, not really. The Washington's were treating him like an adult, like an actual human being. Alex walked back to the bed slowly, sitting down cross legged on top of the soft blue blanket. This was too much, there was nothing for him to fight here.  _ Not yet _ he thought to himself, pulling his backpack from the floor onto his lap and holding it tightly. 

00000000000

The Washington’s had spared no expense when it came to furnishing their home, the polished round mahogany dining table could attest to this. Alex was unused to the spread that Martha had laid out, the quantity of food alone was beyond expectation. America had a different kind of cuisine compared to the Caribbean, and Alex had taken to the expected change with open arms. He hadn’t accounted for actually missing food, it was really just missing home. Though he would never admit it outloud.

“Did George tell you about Lafayette?” Martha’s warm voice penetrated through the fog of his thoughts and he looked up from where he was pushing the food around on his plate. Seeing Alex’s look of confusion, she shook her head with exasperation at her husband who was looking at her sheepishly. “I swear, you can remember statistics and policies yet you forget to tell Alex about Lafayette! He hasn’t even been gone three days!” She was giggling behind her hand, the sight made her seem years younger and reminded Alex of his mother. His meager appetite left him, and he placed his fork down giving Martha his full attention as she continued to playfully scold George.  

“Lafayette is our lovely abroad student from France,” Martha continues where she left off, leaving her husband alone for the time being, “he stays with us for most of the year as a favor to his father. He’s visiting his family for the long weekend but will be back home tomorrow morning. He is very friendly and excited to meet you dear. ” She was smiling warmly, but Alex couldn’t help the ever familiar worry that settled into his stomach. What if this boy, Lafayette didn’t like him? Would he be kicked out before even being given a chance? 

“Maybe it would be best if you and Lafayette became acquainted by going out to retrieve the items you are going to need for school?” George seemed to be thinking out loud,  but looked over expectantly at Martha for her opinion. 

“That’s a splendid idea! What do you think sweetheart?” She looked over at Alex, who had gone back to looking at his plate unblinkingly.  

Alex, had let the conversation wash over him as he got lost in worry, looked up in alarm realizing the conversation had stopped. The Washington’s were both looking at him expectantly, and Alex could feel a wave of panic settle uncomfortably in his stomach.  _ I should have been paying attention _ . Alex felt his throat close and he tried to suck in a breath, his panic intensifying. He was stuck here with these people and they were going to throw him out because he didn’t appreciate everything they had done for him today. His heartbeat was pounding in his ears, fast and panicked as a rabbit facing a pack of wolves. 

Alex squeezed his eyes shut against the dizziness that suddenly overcame him, his stomach trying to revolt against the little he had managed to eat. Alex tried to count, the way his mother had taught him all those months ago, but he couldn’t remember how. He couldn’t remember  _ how. _

A firm hand settled on his shoulder, Alex flinched and the force sent him to the ground. The pain from the fall made him curl in on himself, his knees coming to his chest as he tried to become as small as possible. It felt like his body was on fire, there was no air and he was choking. Another hand rested on his cheek, Alex trembled, the chill of the hand on his heated flesh pierced through the fog that had settled in his mind.

  
“..Alexander…C’mon son... That’s it...Breathe…” Broken words floated through his mind, his name, a voice, a command. He swallowed a mouthful of air, oxygen rushing into his lungs and cooling his body from inside out. Alex choked in a few more breaths, the voice kept speaking but the words were lost. The calm tone and constant pressure of the hand on his face anchor him to the present and make sure he doesn’t overheat and float away. 


	2. Two

An unknown amount of time has passed when Alex finally manages to open his eyes. The room goes in out of focus and he closes them again to fight against the nausea. His whole body is sore, his ribs even more so than they were before, his lip is bleeding again. Alex’s mouth was open, panting shallowly as his breathing began to regulate. This could not keep happening. How was he supposed to do great things if he couldn't even handle  _ breathing  _ on his own. 

“Alex, sweetie, are you with us?” A gentle voice broke the through the fuzziness that had settled in his mind. His exhaustion, for once, helping keep him calm at the sudden intrusion of words. He opened his eyes, the room had finally stopped spinning. Alex’s heart was finally slowing as he continued to breathe heavily, the wave of relief that he could breathe again was swept away by the shame of what had just happened. 

Feeling vulnerable, Alex uncurled from his position on the floor and began to sit up. Wincing slightly as his body throbbed, he determinedly ignored the hand that steadied him when he began to list to the side. His head was throbbing and his eyes were sore, he roughly rubbed at them with the heel of his hand. He could feel the heat of his face as he lowered his hands into his lap, and looked down with shame. He couldn’t believe this had just happened. The hand on his shoulder squeezed slightly to get his attention, Alex was so weary he didn’t even flinch. 

“Alexander?” This time it was the calm voice of George that garnered his attention. Alex let his gaze follow the hand that rested on his shoulder, at some point during the commotion George had kneeled in front of him, “The things that Fairfax told me on the phone, they weren’t the whole story were they?” 

Alex could feel his eyes widen in alarm, he couldn’t know what happened. He hadn’t  _ told  _ anyone. He couldn’t know. He couldn’t. His brain was running a mile a minute, trying to come up with a way to escape this thread of conversation. 

George was giving him an indecipherable look, searching his face for affirmation of his suspicion. Something in Alex’s expression must have given George what he needed, because he allowed Alex to drop his gaze and didn’t ask anything else. Alex shifted his arms and wrapped them tightly around his body, deliberately dislodging George’s hand.  

“Sweetie we aren’t angry. This isn’t your fault.” Alex looked up at the sound of Martha, she was sitting a few feet away from him, trying to put him at ease. George had moved and taken a seat beside her, both of them looking graceful even though they were sitting on the floor. Alex couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that they were sitting on the floor because of him. They were trying to make Alex comfortable, like he  _ mattered _ .

“I’m sorry I messed up dinner.” Alex croaked out, his throat parched and his nerves frayed. His arms tightened around his stomach, despite the twinges of his bruises.

  
“Oh dear, don’t fret about that. I know you did George a favor, he has been putting on a few pounds. Don’t give me that look sweetheart, I love you but you aren’t a young man anymore. I have been meaning to pack him lighter lunches.” Martha replied easily, trying to coax Alex into speaking more by picking on George, who took all the berating with a small smile. He had his eyes focused on Alex. 

She glanced at her husband and smiled softly, he was already in love with this boy as was she. Something about Alexander had struck a chord in both her and George, there was something about his gaze that held intelligence beyond his years. He was going to be a success in one way or another, the call that George had received had been a shock. They did not take in foster children. It had never been an opportunity that she or her husband had explored, they both had fulfilling jobs and each other. That was enough. The thought had crossed her mind when Lafayette had began staying with them. He was such a joy to have around the house that Martha could not bare to see him leave. Their home felt so much more alive when the teen and his friends would come over. 

She was glad that they had decided to take Alex in, looking at the boy who sat across from her, hunched over and holding himself tightly together, she couldn’t help but think that this boy was going to change their life forever. It broke her heart to see him sitting so unsure of himself. If picking fun at her husband made him open up a little more, there was no harm in that. A few silent moments passed, Alex wasn’t going to say anything else but at least he was making eye contact.

“Alexander, is there anything you want to talk about?” George paused when Alex’s eyes met his, a flash of discomfort and anger colored the boy's gaze, “I know we are only just getting to know one another, but do understand that we care very much about your wellbeing.”

Alex seemed to take a moment to take in this statement, his eyes were still wide and panicked but he seemed to have settled into his own skin a bit more, “One of the rules is respecting boundaries, can you respect that I don’t want to talk about this?” Alex had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep himself from trembling, this was the moment where he would really find out if the Washington’s were good people or not.

George gave Alex a long look, before sighing and nodding his head. “Quite right Alexander,” he turned to Martha who was watching the interaction with rapt attention. 

00000000000

  
Martha had suggested that he turn in early for the night. Considering the past couple of days, Alex hadn’t had the energy to disagree. He still couldn’t believe that he had talked his way out of the situation.That they had  _ let  _ him. Alex had used the Washington’s own rules against them and all he had gotten in return for his defiance was a quirk of the lip and a sigh. These people were unbelievable. 

There was a clock that glowed on a nearby nightstand, the red numbers piercing through the darkness. He had been laying under the dark blue comforter for three hours, the red numbers blink mockingly at him, daring him to do something as they continue their ascent into the early hours of the morning. Alex was exhausted, both mentally and physically. He couldn’t seem to shut his brain off, not a rare occurrence but it was surprisingly making him frustrated. He just wanted a few hours of peace and quiet, for his brain to stop whirring, his shoulders to unclench and his body to forget about how much it hurts.

_ There is a problem. Find the problem, figure out a solution and get some sleep.  _ With these thoughts in mind, Alex took stock of what was hindering his seemingly futile attempts at sleep. The bed was soft, the blanket that covered him was heavy, he knew that the Washington’s couldn’t enter his room because he locked the door. Alex was probably the most comfortable he had ever been. The night was cloudy with the promise of more snow. While unpleasant, the forecast was nothing that Alex couldn’t handle. He sat up slowly rubbing his temples as a headache began to pound beneath his eyes,  _ what is my problem? _

He sat up, his comforter dragging down his body, the coolness of the room making him shiver. The bed was too soft, this room was too nice, and he was cold. With a sigh he figured out how to fix this problem, at least for tonight. Throwing his pillow to the carpeted floor, Alex carefully rolled over so he could lower himself to the ground. The carpet was plush and comfortable, and the blanket was heavy enough that it would keep the worst of the night chill at bay. Facing the wall, Alex was immersed in complete darkness. He felt his eyelids getting heavier, but before drifting off completely, he sent a prayer to his mother. Begging for guidance and forgiveness for the luxuries he was being given and that she never got to have. 

000000000000

The next time Alex opens his eyes, the sun had yet to awaken, moonlight was still shining through the windows and he is shivering. He sits up slowly, ignoring the twinges that make themselves more known as he stretches, wincing at the tugs and pulls of his sore body. He glances at the clock, impressed to see that he got a full three hours of sleep. In a new place, that was impressive for Alex. To be honest, that amount of uninterrupted sleep anywhere was impressive for the teen.

Not knowing the routines the Washington’s had in the mornings, Alex wasn’t sure if five would be acceptable to come out of his bedroom. Deciding to give it a little more time before he faced the day, Alex decided to take a quick shower.

By the time he got out, the sun was peeking through his blinds. Rummaging through his bag, he found a fresh set of clothes and threw them on. Ignoring the holes in his jeans, he bent over and pulled on a pair of socks before contemplating leaving the room. Surely six was ample time to leave? The couple had not seemed to get angry over anything Alex had done last night, even though he had surely pressed some boundaries. 

He shook his head harshly, why couldn’t he just make a choice? A droplet of water dripped from his hair onto his skin making him shiver.  _ I’m being ridiculous,  _ he scolded himself as he set to work, pulling his hair in a loose bun. He turned back to his bag and retrieved his notebook, taking an extra moment to scrounge around the bottom for a pen. Triumphant, he moved towards the door, hand reached to flip the lock. He could do this, choosing to sit in the living room and write was something he could choose to do. 

Finding his way back to the living room was not challenging, Alex had always had a great memory. The silence of the house was off putting, the room was lit by the sun that was truly just beginning to make its way over the horizon. The shadows it cast on the room and its furniture set Alex on edge, it looked as if the walls had grown souls. They were stretching as the sun rose, moving in a way that made them seem to dance. Grasping forward slowly the shadows touched the surface but served no real purpose, just reflections of their tangible counterparts. He didn’t like shadows, Alex felt like he was always on the cusp of becoming one himself.

He took a seat on one of the cream colored couches, facing away from the distraction the sun had created. He liked this room, there were books on every wall. It was intriguing to see what kind of literature the Washington's surrounded themselves with. Alex spared a few moments to try and make out the titles, but the sunlight was not strong enough. Not wanting to risk any ere by turning on lights, he settled more comfortably by bringing his knees up to balance his notebook.

It was a rugged little thing, his mother had saved up for ages to give it to him on his sixteenth birthday. It was the last thing she had given him before they had both fallen ill. He had cherished it even more because of the circumstances, but he truly did love it. The leather was softly worn and the pages inside had been yellowed by the coastal air. It had made it through his mother's passing, his cousin's suicide and even the hurricane. He had almost lost it during that storm, the rain and wind alone had destroyed his home. Alex still really couldn’t put together the pieces of that storm, he remembered being dissociatively aware. He remembers seeing the wreckage and devastation. He remembers the wind. He remembers being cold. His nightmares have helped fill in these lost moments. According to the people who had found him, he had been walking through the wreckage like a ghost. Clothes torn, hair wind whipped and wild, the only thing he had on his person was the leather notebook that he had clenched tightly in his hands.

He flipped to the last page, it had been quite a while since he had last written to his mother. When things were new, or he needed some clarity, he would speak to her through his writing. She had always loved that when she was alive. Even when she was exhausted from working from sun up to sunset, she had loved reading his writing. Now that she was gone, this was the last real connection he had with her. 

So he got to work, telling her about what had transpired over the last few days. Giving her descriptions of the new people in his life, sharing his uneasiness of the Washington's, explaining his mixed feelings about Mr. Fairfax until he became lost in the task. 

He felt the hairs stand up on the back of his neck, and he paused in the middle of a sentence. Slowly looking up to determine the origin of the discomfort, Alex nearly flinched at the sudden appearance of another person in the room. The other teen had a bag around his shoulder, his hair neatly tied back, and his clothing was colorful.  He seemed to be giving Alex a searching look before settling on a grin and quickly dropping his bag and moving forward.

_ “Hello! You must be Alexander! I’m Lafayette, it is very nice to meet you. You are up very early, yes? What are you writing?”  _ The big ball of energy that came further into the room started shooting questions at Alex through rapid french. Alex could feel his eyes grow wider with every sentence Lafayette spoke, the normal feeling of panic that would set his heart beating uncontrollably was astonishingly absent. The other teens questions slowed down as he waited for Alex to answer, who was trying not to show his disappointment the other boy had stopped speaking. He had not heard or spoken french since his mother had died, it was nice to hear it again.

“Lafayette sweetie, you're speaking in French again.” Alex jumped as the new voice joined the conversation. He looked behind the couch and saw Martha and George standing in the doorway, smiling. The couple walked into the room to and took a seat on the couch across from Alex. As she sat down, Martha gave Alex a searching look before smiling gently at him, he turned back to Lafayette before he opened his mouth and said something silly like  _ thank you. _

  
“ _ Oui _ . I apologize, my name is Lafayette. When I am excited I forget not everyone speaks French, it is very nice to meet you.” Lafayette had a slight blush to his cheeks, but was still smiling happily at Alex. 

_ “ _ _ No need for apologies, it’s nice to meet you too.”  _  Alex finally responds, hoping to make the other teenager talk again. He was not disappointed. 

_“You speak french? That is wonderful! I have not been able to speak to anyone in the native language besides my family! Never anyone our age, you are fluent, yes?Who taught you?”_ Lafayette rambled on, gesticulating widely with his hands, excitement pouring out with every gesture. Alex couldn’t help the smile that erupted on his face, this kid was just too much. 

_ “My mother taught me before I came to the states.” _ Alex was still smiling as the other teenager began to wax poetics about his homeland. He was so enraptured in the other boy, he didn’t notice the soft look George and Martha were giving them.

“Alexander,” George's deep baritone broke through the continuous one sided conversation, causing both boys to look in his direction, “I was unaware that you spoke French. That is very impressive.” 

Alex fought down a blush at the compliment, he took a deep breath, “Yes sir, I speak English, French, and Spanish fluently. We spoke a combination of all three when I lived on the islands and my mother thought it was important to learn how to speak all of them properly.”

_ “Oh you will get along splendidly with my friend John, yes? He loves Spanish very much!” _ Lafayette butt in before George could reply to Alexander’s admission. 

Alex gave Lafayette another smile, trying not to let the doubt show on his face. He was surprised that Lafayette had continued to speak to him with the Washington's in the same room. People his age didn’t normally like Alex, his mother had said it was because his mind and mouth ran together. He didn’t know when to stop, especially if he didn’t like an opinion.

“Lafayette, do remember the rest of the household has yet to grasp the complexities of French,” George chastised the other boy with a smile, who grinned sheepishly, before turning his attention back to Alex, “As for your language abilities Alexander, that is quite a feat.” 

Alex felt flustered , looking down at his lap where his notebook lay open. He wasn’t used to compliments. 

“Did you sleep well?” George continued the conversation as if there hadn’t been an ample pause where Alex had chosen to stay silent. 

Alex found himself contemplating the question, it seemed like George meant well. It wasn’t a test, he could tell the difference. This wasn’t like the Atkinson household, the question wasn’t a trick to get one-on-one time with Alex. It wasn’t like the Chater household either where every question had a hidden agenda that could end with physical violence. He had only known the man for a day but he could feel the small tendrils of hope simmering in his heart, it was a desperate desire that these people didn’t have a hidden side to their kindness. 

“Yes sir,” he eventually choked out. It shouldn’t be this hard to talk to the man but it seems that he would still have to work on building any kind of trust. Things may look good now but he couldn’t let that blind him. This whole situation could go belly up at the flip of a switch, Alex didn’t want to lay all his eggs in one basket. It wasn’t safe. 

George looked like he was going to push the line of questioning when Martha gave him a look and tugged his arm in the direction of the kitchen, “We’ll go get brunch started, c’mon dear leave the boys be.”

0-0-0-0-0-0

Alex wasn’t sure exactly how he ended up at the mall with Lafayette, but here he was at two o’clock on a Sunday afternoon with a boy he had just met.

“We should start with the electronics on your list?  _ Oui _ ? Then we can make our way to clothes, I need more color in my wardrobe.” the teen was speaking to Alex energetically, seeming to forget about the stunted idle chat that had happened on the ride over. Alex liked listening to the other boy talk, he didn’t want to ruin their tentative friendship by opening his mouth.   

Lafayette had driven them to the mall and seemed very excited at the idea of purchasing Alex things on the Washington’s behalf. Martha had handed Lafayette a list with strict instructions to not come back without everything checked off. Alex hadn’t had a chance to look, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be a good idea to argue with Martha. She seemed to be the type of woman who wouldn’t take no for an answer when it came to that kind of thing, a lot like Alex’s mom. 

They walked into an electronic store and Alex was quickly tugged by his arm to a display model of cell phones. He still didn’t really understand why he had to get all this stuff anyway. Alex tried not to let his anxiety show, but when he saw the prices he could feel his heart skip a beat. He had never had a phone before, there was never any real need for one. Something must of showed on his face because Lafayette directed him an aisle that displayed phone cases while he fetched the other items on his list. 

"You stay here and pick the best case you can find, yes? I will be back soon."

Alex had lost himself in the task of finding a good case, it wasn’t every day that he actually got to pick something out for himself. He grabbed the best colors and designs and laid them on the floor, trying to figure out which was the best. He had narrowed it down to two when he was interrupted. 

“Oh  _ mon ami _ , you are adorable. Everyone is just going to love you.” Lafayette was looking down at him with exasperated fondness, Alex could feel himself blush. He hadn’t realized he was sitting cross legged in the middle of the aisle. “Did you find one you like? I have all the other stuff waiting at the checkout.” 

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

They must have spent hours flitting from store to store, Lafayette filling the time with endless chatter. Alex couldn’t really find it in himself to be annoyed, the French teen was kind and had already wormed his way into Alex’s heart. He didn’t mind that Alex had trailed behind him all day, he seemed over the moon that someone was letting him use them for dress up. Alex had never tried so many clothes on in his life.

The two teens were walking through the parking deck back to the car, arms laden with purchases. It was cold outside, cold enough that Alex could see his breath with every exhale. The coat that Lafayette had picked out for him was doing it’s job well. He couldn’t remember the last time he walked outside and wasn’t immediately wracked with shivers. He was still freezing but it was nice that nobody could tell by his involuntary trembling.

Lafayette spoke about school and his friends and Alex was trying to pay attention but he could feel the tendrils of exhaustion creeping in, the day had been very long. He could finally feel the lack of sleep, tiredness sat heavy in his bones. It didn’t help that he was still a bit banged up from the Chater house as well. 

“Well if it isn’t the resident flamer of North High, where’s the rest of your queer friends?” A sneering voice cut off Lafayette mid-sentence, he stopped walking and turned to face their antagonizer. Alex had jumped at the harsh voice but was following Lafayette’s lead, instantly more awake, placing the bags on the ground in case things got physical. Alex was no stranger to physical violence and he did not like the bullshit that this person was spewing already.

“Ah yes, Lee. It is good to see you. Did you have a good weekend? I heard through the grapevine that you were quite under the weather. Perhaps too much cocaine in one night?” If Alex hadn’t spent the day with Lafayette, he would have been intimidated by the growl in his voice. The kind, carefree boy had all but evaporated, his body language was taunt, closed off in a way that Alex unconsciously mirrored. There was no mistaking that Alex’s own hackles raised as Lafayette's friendly demeanor disappeared.   

Their adversary was obviously a schoolmate, he seemed to be about their age and looked like he hadn’t had to fight for a single thing in his life. From the obvious product in his hair to the shine of his shoes, it was clear that this kid had no street experience. This Lee guy may have had a chance if he hadn’t showed up to a fight outnumbered and outwitted. He had yet to acknowledge Alex and the irritation from the slight caused his fists to clench in anticipation. He could feel the thrum of adrenaline sizzle underneath his skin.   


“I’m sure you had a better weekend with all your fuckbuddies frenchie,” The teen looked unperturbed by Lafayette’s commentary on his hobbies, his gaze finally slid over to Alex and a nasty smile appeared on his face, “Oh, well it looks like you found a new recruit for your merry band of immigrant trash.” Lee had taken a step closer to Lafayette, invading his space. Alex bit his lip, reopening the split, it would never heal at this rate. The pain grounded him and he quickly stepped in front of Lafayette, ignoring Lee’s snickering. Alex and Lee were now facing one another, chest to chest . 

“You’ll have to do better than that princess. What are you, like, four feet tall?” 

Alex could feel Lafayette’s anger through the back of his coat, “ _ Mon ami _ , step aside. Do not trouble yourself over this ignorant  _ dégénéré mongrel.”  _ The taller teen tried to pull Alex back, but Alex had already decided he wasn’t going to let this guy walk away after talking to Lafayette like that. The insults thrown at him stung but the real cause of action was the way Lafayette’s eyes had lost their spark when this asshole opened his mouth. 

Alex put out his hand, Lee took a step back in confusion but took Alex’s hand through ingrained politeness that his probable aristocratic lifestyle reflected.

  
“Hi, my name is Alexander Hamilton.” Alex could feel Lafayette sag behind him, his whole body radiating defeat and sorrow. Alex didn’t have time to think about what that meant because in the next second, Alex yanked Lee forward, unbalancing him with practiced skill and punched him in the face. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some translations: 
> 
> inbred mutt=dégénéré mongrel  
> my friend= Mon ami  
> Yes= Oui 
> 
> Hey guys! So if you have made it this far I want to say thank you. We are still pretty early in the tale but I'm honored by the reaction it has gotten. Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/)


	3. Three

_Last time:_

_ “You’ll have to do better than that princess, what are you, like, four feet tall?”  _

_ Alex could feel Lafayette’s anger through the back of his coat, “ Mon ami , step aside. Do not trouble yourself over this ignorant  dégénéré mongrel.”  The taller teen tried to pull Alex back, but Alex had already decided he wasn’t going to let this guy walk away after talking to Lafayette like that. The insults thrown at him stung but the real cause of action was the way Lafayette’s eyes had lost their spark of joy when this asshole opened his mouth.  _

_ Alex put out his hand, Lee took a step back in confusion but took Alex’s hand through ingrained politeness that his probable aristocratic lifestyle reflected. _

_“Hi, my name is Alexander Hamilton.” Alex could feel Lafayette sag behind him, his whole body radiating defeat and sorrow. Alex didn’t have time to think about what that meant because in the next second, Alex yanked Lee forward, unbalancing him with practiced skill and punched him in the face.  _

000000

The next few moments were a blur, Alex could feel himself being pulled into Lafayette’s chest as Lee fell backwards onto his ass. He couldn’t help the taunting smile that spread across his face as the teen pulled an unbelieving hand up to his face and gave Alex a look of disbelief. The disbelief quickly turned into one of rage, the other boy springing to his feet, an irate comment on the tip of his tongue but Alex beat him to it.

“I’m no princess, I’m a queen thank you very much.” He quickly moved away from Lafayette and grabbed the bags on the ground, marching back to the car with the aloofness of royalty. His adrenaline still pumping through his veins, he watched through the reflections of the car mirrors to see if the other teenager was going to try anything. Lafayette was right behind him, bags in hand as they walked away.

They were a few feet away from the other boy, finally at their car, when Lee gained his wits. “Don’t think this is over Hamilton, not by a long shot. I won’t forget this. Neither will my friends.” Lee was seething, his tone taunting and hostile. Alex could feel the adrenaline beginning to fade and the claws of anxiety tightening around his conscious. God. He just got here and he had already fucked up. Lafayette probably hated him now. Their tentative friendship destroyed because Alex couldn’t keep his mouth shut.

“ _Va te faire enculer_ , tell your friends they can follow the same advice.” The french teen yelled back as he unlocked the doors, tossing the bags in. Alex repeated the action, not bothering to see if Lee had retorted before getting climbing to the passenger seat.

The teen could already feel the throb of his knuckles, he looked down. The bruises on his hand had already begun to darken. His lip was stinging, a droplet of blood made its way down his chin and he quickly wiped it away. He had already messed up. Not even two days and he had already messed up. Why did he do this to himself?

The driver side door swung open and Lafayette all but threw himself into the seat, he was panting and mumbling in French. Alex could feel his heartbeat race underneath his skin, he couldn’t control the outcome of this one. To his horror he felt the sting of tears behind his eyes. There was the slam of a door closing before the car began to move, the silence heavy as Lafayette navigated to the main road. The teen hugged himself tightly waiting for Lafayette to speak. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._

“That was _impressionnant_ , _mon ami_ . I have never in my time here seen that boy look so angry. What a sight it was to behold, taken down a few pegs was just the thing he needed.” Alex looked up from his hands. Lafayette was grinning widely, mirth coloring his tone as he continued, “The others will be very upset they missed this. Mulligan especially, he has been wanting to hit that _bâtard_ for weeks.” Lafayette paused, waiting for the other boy to comment. He slowed to a stop at a red light, looking over expectantly when the silence dragged.

Alex was huddled in on himself, as much as he could be with a seatbelt strapped to across his chest. He looked small, vulnerable in a way his previous fierceness would not have suggested possible.

“ _Mon cher,_ are you well? You look like your _âme_ is about to leave your body.” There was worry in the French teens tone, he reached over and placed a gentle hand on Alex’s shoulder causing the boy to flinch.

He pushed himself into the door, the handle digging uncomfortably into his side, Alex could feel his breath become more shaky as he closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._

A mumbled “ _Merde”_ and then the car began to move again for a few moments before coming to a complete stop. The motion jarred Alex and he opened his eyes enough to see that they had pulled off the road into an empty parking lot. The only light were those of the poles that stood periodically throughout the area. Alex shut his eyes again, this wasn’t going to end well.

A pair of cool hands grasped either side of his face, his eyes blinked open in shock, his heart in his throat. “ _Mon petit lion,_ breathe easy, in and out, _Oui?_ What has upset you so? Did Lee’s words dig at your conscious? Pay them little mind _mon ami,_ he is no one important.” The boy was smiling at Alex, his face revealing nothing but serenity. Lafayette’s thumbs ran across either side of his cheeks, rubbing calming circles softly in time with his breathing. Before he knew it, Alex could breathe like normal and his heart had finally stopped rattling in his chest.

They sat in silence, Alex trying his best to keep his breathing normal. Eventually he gathering the courage to speak.“Sorry, I shouldn’t have punched him.” Alex’s voice was gravely, he yearned for a glass of water to ease the shards in his throat. “I didn’t mean to upset you.” He closed his eyes again in preparation for the hurt that was about to come. He may have only known this boy for a day but he had already grown attached.

He felt a gentle tap on his eyelids, Lafayette was still holding his face. “ _Mon cher,_ why do you think I’m upset about that?” the other boy looked completely confused.

Alex mirrored his confusion, “I could tell, right before I hit him.” He looked into the other teenagers eyes, still weary from the action that had taken place.

“Oh _mon cher,_ no! I thought you were trying to befriend that wretched excuse for a human being. I will admit for a moment I felt betrayed, but only a moment. Then you came at him with a fiery punch, _mon petit lion,_ you are quite the little _feu d'artifice_.” Lafayette had let go of the other boys face, grabbing Alex’s hands gently. “I thought for a moment, perhaps, you were reacting to the insults and could not stand to be at my side for another moment.”

“The insults?” Alex repeated uncomprehendingly, “I don’t understand, why would that have mattered? He was being an asshole, I just wanted him to stop.” Alex could feel Lafayette’s heated gaze on his skin, he was too exhausted to feel embarrassed.

“I’m sure you have noticed how I dress, _Oui?_ I do not blantetly hide myself, and people are not always accepting of this, _mon ami._ I dress how I wish, I love who I wish as well. Lee and his friends are not accepting of this.” Lafayette was watching him carefully, for reasons Alex didn’t have the energy to think about.

He pulled a hand away from the other teenagers grasp and ran it through his hair in agitation, “So he really was being an asshole, I should’ve hit him harder.”

A high pitched giggled echoed through the small space, Alex looked over at the other side of the car, perturbed that his hand had been let go of. Lafayette was holding his sides as he laughed, a happy jovial sound that had Alex grinning slightly in response.

“I was right about you _mon cher,_ we are going to be the greatest of friends.” Lafayette had once again reached over and grabbed one of his hands gently. “Now tell me what the unnecessary _panique_ was about. We are already friends, yes? The defending of my honor and the bruises on your hands have assured this.” He ghosted his thumb across Alex’s knuckles in reassurance.

“I don’t. I…” Alex could feel his voice get stuck in his throat. The words were there, sitting solidly in the pit of his stomach, blocked by the muteness he had cast upon himself since the Atkinson house. A few beats passed in silence, he could feel himself beginning to panic.

“Don’t trouble yourself, _mon ami,_ be calm.” Lafayette pressed down on the other boys bruised hand, anchoring Alex in the present. “It has something to do with the marks already on your face, _oui?_ ” Lafayette glanced at his lip, and gave him a knowing look. _“_ Things have not been easy have they _mon cher?”_

Alex gave Lafayette a watery smile, “No, they really haven’t.”

“Well, _mon_ _petit lion,_ you do not have to fret any longer. You will have a friend in me always, we will face whatever happens together, yes?” The other boy let go of Alex’s hand and held out his hand, fist closed but for his little finger. “We will pinky promise, the French never break these _tu sais_.”

  
Alex let out a wet laugh, “I’m not sure that’s true.” but held out his own finger anyway. The teens grasped each other’s pinkies and shared a smile. Alex couldn’t help but feel that the childish gesture had solidified their tentative friendship.

0000000   

They had been driving for a time when Alex finally worked up the nerve to speak again.

“So you’re really not upset?” Alex looked over at the other boy, his face illuminated by the neon lights of the dashboard. The sun had set while they were shopping, the winter day taking away the sun earlier, allowing darkness to descend quickly and silently. The darkness hid the other boys expression, but Alex was watching carefully for any sign that he had actually displeased Lafayette.

“No _mon petit lion,_ I am very much fine. Only appreciative, yes? I was, after all, saved by royalty.” Lafayette started to laugh, “Lee’s face when you said you were a queen, I will never forget. You are very quick-witted _mon ami._ ”

Alex could feel himself blush, “ My _mamá_ used to tell me that my mind had a direct line to my mouth. It got me in trouble all the time.” He was thankful for the darkness as Lafayette continued to chuckle, not even realizing he was slipping into a more informal vernacular. One of the first things that he learned in the states was peoples discomfort of the mixing of languages.

  
“Yes, I can definitely see that. Did you get into many fights little Alex?” There was mirth in his tone and Alex could feel himself smile as he thought about his mother. For the first time in a long time, thinking about her didn’t hurt.

“Too many to count. If _mamá_ came home and it was quiet she would be worried I was dead, normally she would find me banging around in the bathroom with the first aid kit.” Alex could feel his smile growing, his lip stretching in an uncomfortable way. “ _Mamá_ always fussed, told me to stop picking fights with people who were bigger than me.”

“Well it seems, despite your size, you can hold your own, _mon ami_. Mind, Hercules might want to test that theory out at some point once you meet him. ” Lafayette was grinning, his tone teasing.

“Dynamite in small packages is still effective Lafayette. I’ll have you know that I have taken on guys who were three times the size of Lee. Compared to them, he was nothing. He didn’t even hit back.” Alex could feel the smugness in his tone, gratified by Lafayette’s merriment. The car took a turn into estate of the Washington’s home. Alex could feel all the liveliness drain out of him as they approached the gates, the house silhouetted by the moon’s shadow.

“Can…” Alex looked down at his lap, running a hand through his hair in agitation, “Are you gonna tell them what happened?”

  
They pulled into the driveway and Lafayette turned to face Alex, regarding him with a serious expression. “ _Mon cher,_ I will not mention this to the Washington’s, yes? But I want you to know that they are the kindest people. I can tell you have had a lot of bad in your life, _oui_? Trust me on this, George and Martha are genuinely good.”  

Alex looked up, meeting the other’s gaze. “I want to believe that, I do, but I can’t. Not right now.” The fear was crawling through his veins, but he valiantly stomped it down. He trusted Lafayette to not tell the truth of the evening. He owed him. This was the least he could for defending him, that’s how it went.

0000000

Lafayette kept his promise. When Martha asked how their shopping trip had gone, the French teenager had shrugged, nonchalantly replying, “Uneventful, come see what we got little Alex.” Pausing to shuffle through one of the bags before yanking out a beautiful scarf, “Oh! Also, I saw this in the window and it matched your eyes so well I could not leave without it. It would have been a crime.”

Alex refused to admit it to himself but he was beginning to trust the other boy.

0000000

The next morning has Alex at his new school, standing in his new clothes, armed with a new phone in his pocket and a new laptop in his bag. He couldn’t help but feel like a fraud.The Washington's home reflected their wealth, apparently they weren’t the only ones who were well-off in this school district. Yet, here he was, a proverbial wolf in sheep's clothing. He didn’t live the life of the wealthy, and he couldn’t help but feel like someone was going to ask him to leave .

Following George into the building, he couldn’t help but marvel. The hallways were pristine, the floor shining enough to warrant the phrase “clean enough to eat off of.” Alex had never been in a school this nice before. New York was great, it was the opportunity he had always been yearning for. The schools he had attended while being in foster care had nothing on this school. The vast size of the building aside, the floors made it obvious that he didn’t belong here.

His mom had cleaned the rich peoples houses in Nevis, the floors were wide and expansive just as the ones he was standing on. She would leave just as the sun had began to shine through their little one room apartment, not coming back till it had set with the moon guiding her path home. Alex had always felt absolutely horrible when she came back at night, exhaustion clear in her hunched form. She refused to complain about the aches and pains that scrubbing roughly for hours had left her with. Even though she worked as much as she did, they barely made ends meet. Alex tried to help but she wouldn’t have it, _“School is the most important thing Alex, your brain is going to get you out of this place.”_

He had made it out of the Islands, just as she had always wanted. But to think that these students were walking around without a care in the world, probably not putting a second thought on the money they were truly walking on… Alex could feel has jaw clench. It wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that he was here and his mother was dead. Buried miles away on an island by herself. It just wasn’t fair.

They reached the main office, George said something to the secretary who smiled and reached for the phone on her desk. Not knowing what to do with himself, Alex took a seat at one of the benches that was pushed against the wall. He was willing himself not to look nervous, biting his lips so he wouldn’t start fidgeting. His apprehension must have showed on his face, because George gave him a reassuring smile.

“It’s just paperwork Alexander, I’ll be in the other room for only a moment.” With that the man followed the secretary down the hallway, disappearing from sight.

  
Alex sighed, the day had barely started but he felt drained. This morning Lafayette had left before them, arguing amiably with George and Martha about Alex coming early to school to meet his friends. George had waved him off, saying, “Go to school son, Alexander will be part of your hooligan group soon enough.”

Now he was stuck here alone, until George came back. He slumped in his seat, ignoring the flare of pain from his bruised ribs, he supposed it was nice that George had taken the morning to come and make sure everything was set up for Alex. How he did that over the course of the weekend, Alex hadn’t a clue.

He had to admit to himself, he very much looked the part of an average high schooler. He didn’t have holes in any of his clothes, the most ragged thing about him was his bookbag. He had refused to get a new one, despite Lafayette’s insistence. It had came with him from the Islands, it survived everything in America, he wasn’t going to replace it. It was similar to a safety blanket as well, worse comes to worse, he could leave. The laptop and phone would sell for a bit of cash, he could get a bus ticket and make his way back to New York no problem. He had himself, his notebook and his bag. There wasn’t anything else he really needed. Nothing he couldn’t forget about or replace anyway. Once he got to New York, he wasn’t sure what he would do, but he would figure it out, he always did.

The office doors open suddenly, and a boy walks in, blood dripping from his nose. Alex couldn’t help but gawk. The blood had been what initially caught his attention, but the boys eyes are what made him stare. They were beautiful, more so than any comparison would do justice. His face was a constellation of freckles, each star highlighting the vastness of his fairness. Alex could feel his heart stutter for a completely new reason, it wasn’t the claws of anxiety tearing at his soul, it was something different. Something warm.

Alex reached up and pulled tightly at the wisps of hair that had escaped his hastily made bun. How could someone like him even exist? He wanted to speak, to reach out and garner a fraction of the other boys time. That would be enough, just a quick second, but he was already being led away by a scolding nurse.

“John, you’re back again? You must stop letting things get out of hand. Where is the other boy? If you’re bleeding they are bound to be needing stitches.” The teenager was holding a tissue to his nose, and he grinned sheepishly at the fussing.

“It actually wasn’t my fault this time, Ma’am, I wasn’t looking where I was going and I ran into the door. Blame my friends, they were distracting me.” His voice was melodic, and he was without a doubt charming. The nurse was already smiling at him as she turned to close the door to her office, the scowl long gone. For a brief moment, their eyes met over the head of the nurse. His body felt like it was on fire. Alex was sure he looked like an idiot, but the freckled teenager gave him a curious look and a quick smile before the door closed completely.

Alex hunched in his seat, he couldn’t believe that had happened. He had never felt _want_ as strong as he did when he saw that boy. A want for attention, a want for friendship, a want for anything that would give him a moment with the freckled boy. _John,_ his mind supplied readily. The smile from John was something he would keep close to his heart for the rest of the day. If nothing else, it had made him feel warm in a way that he had not felt in a long time.

Alex closes his eyes and leans back against the wall willing the tension to drain out of his body. He hears the soft footfalls of the secretary taking her seat behind the desk, the obnoxious ticking of a clock overhead. The calmness of the room is broken once again by the opening of the office door, his eyes opening at the disturbance.This time it’s someone Alex recognizes.

Their eyes meet, and Alex could see the moment the other boy recognized his hunched frame. A sneer was already spread across his face, it was different than the one from yesterday. This one held hatred, vehemence that Alex hadn’t seen aimed towards him since Mr. Atkinson realised he wasn’t going lay down and take it. He couldn’t suppress the shiver that wracked his body, and Lee noticed. The resentful downturn of his mouth morphed into a smirk, one that turned into a full blown smile at Alex’s obvious discomfort.

 

Lee took a couple of steps towards Alex, mindful of the secretary who was paying them no mind as she worked on her computer. “Not so tough without your _friend,”_ Lee spat the word like it was a curse,“are you princess?”

Alex could feel his anger flare, “Tougher than you’ll ever hope to be, that black eye looks good on you. Want a matching one?”

Lee went to reply but was interrupted by a loud cough, both teens whipped their heads in the direction. George was standing with an unimpressed look on his face, “Charles, I see you have met Alexander. I hope that the two of you will be great friends, how has your father been? I’ve heard he hasn’t quite found his bearings since he lost his seat in the Senate.”

Lee’s face drained of color, the paleness bringing even greater attention to the bruise on his face. “Yes Sir, I will let him know he has your condolences.” His voice was even when he responded, but there was a sharpness to his tone.

He felt a hand on his shoulder, flinching at the unexpected touch, Alex did his best not to recoil from the man’s hand. “Come Alexander, it escaped my memory to bring in Lafayette’s homework. Let’s go retrieve it so you can deliver it before class.” The hand on his shoulder squeezed gently before releasing him.

Alex scrambled to his feet and followed Washington out of the office, leaving a fuming Lee behind staring after them heatedly. They walked in silence before reaching the main doors, George turned to him,“So last night when you boys went shopping was uneventful?”

Alex had the decency to look down at his shoes, ashamed. He stays silent, waiting for Washington to continue. This is it. This is the moment he’ll realize that the money they wasted on him was for naught, and the belief that George had placed on him the first day he arrived was unfounded. He could feel his heartbeat stutter, that same panic that forced his silence clawed at his throat.

“I don’t suppose this is the boy that has been given Lafayette trouble?” Alex looked up in surprise, George knew about that? His face gave away the information the man was looking for. He shook his head exasperatedly, “You boys are going to get into trouble for sure. Let me offer some advice Alexander,” He sifts through the paper’s that he was holding, pulling out a small sheet and handing it to Alex, “Sometimes, a cutting remark can hurt more than a physical one. You’ve got the words, use them.”

Alex really didn’t understand the faith that George had in him, it was unfounded and his actions seemed to prove that. He took a glance at the paper, it was his schedule. He looked back up at the man who was giving him a small smile.

The bell rang, making Alex jump. Classroom doors flew open, students began to fill the halls talking loudly amongst themselves. He turned his gaze back to George who was giving him a thoughtful look. “This is where I take my leave, don’t forget that you will be riding home with Lafayette after school.” George turns and begins to make his way towards the door.

Alex could feel the anxiety creep in, when he suddenly remembered,“Wait! What about Lafayette’s homework?”

George turns around, a mischievous gleam in his eye, “We needed to leave the office without incident, a little white lie never hurt anyone.

Alex could feel the grin fighting its way to his face, “Of course, sir.” He hitched the strap of his backpack higher on his shoulder, like a knight going into battle putting on armor. He could feel his pulse start to race, he glanced at his schedule trying to determine which class he was suppose to attend first.

“Alexander,” He looked back at George who had a hand on the door, his face was kind, “Make me proud son.” With that, the man walked through the door without waiting for a response. Alex could feel his heart ache at the use of the word son, but his temper stayed dormant. He felt warm again.

“Excuse me?” An unknown voice breaks through Alex’s musings causing him to turn around, a teenager with a feigned smile stood with his hand extended. “My name is Aaron Burr, I was instructed by the office to take you to your first class.” He looks official, like he could be running for presidency instead of greeting the new student. Alex notes that his smile seems empty, as if the politeness being extended to him was nothing but a habitual response.

Ignoring the artificially kind vibe, he shakes the other boys hand. “Alexander Hamilton, it’s nice to meet you.”

They let go, the other boy seems to consider him a moment, “So you live with the Washingtons?” He turns and begins walking, expecting Alex to follow through the thinning crowd of students, “I hadn’t heard anything about them having another foreign exchange student.”

Alex could feel his hackles rise, his English was perfect, why would this asshole think otherwise. “I’m living with the Washingtons, why would you assume I’m a foreign exchange student?” His tone must have been more hostile than he meant because Burr gave him another fake smile trying to placate his anger.  

“I meant no offense Hamilton. We’re in Virginia, not a state known for its diversity. The Washingtons have Lafayette staying with them. Pardon me if it sounded as if I were accusing you of something.”  His tone was seemingly sincere, “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

Alex could feel himself blush, he ran a hand through his hair, loosening the bun on top of his head. “No, I’m sorry. I should have realized what you meant.”

Burr stops in front of a classroom, the chatter of students filling the silence as he rummages through his bag to find something, “Consider it forgotten, this is your next class.” He hands Alex a map, “You should be able to find the rest of your classes using that.”

“I’m really sorry Burr, I didn’t mean to come off as an asshole.”  He could feel the beginning of word vomit but couldn’t help himself, the stress of the last few days taking their toll as he begins speaking uncontrollably. “This school is huge and I just got to this state and I just met the Washingtons three days ago and…” Bur holds up his hands to halt the onslaught of Alex’s rambling.

“Listen, Alexander, can I call you Alexander?” Alex nodded, Burr lowered his hands, “Talk less, people will use your life against you.” Alex could feel the shame burn in his stomach like hot coals. Burr was right, how could he have forgotten one of the most important rules that he set for himself? “Smile more and coast your way through. Don’t stir up trouble and you’ll be fine. Have a good day.” As Burr walked away, Alex couldn’t help the resentment he felt towards the teenager. He had the grace and confidence to look like he belonged and had no problem brushing Alex off. The late bell rang, startling Alex so badly he jumped. He ignores the painful spasm in his ribs as he watches Burr turn the corner and disappear from sight.

000000

Classes came and went, Alex paid attention as well as he could. The material so far had more or less been covered in his previous school.This paired with Alex’s work ethic, there wasn’t anything new his teachers spoke about. Undoubtedly, the worst part of each class was when the teacher made him introduce himself. The third time it happened, Alex became resigned to the fact he was going to stutter his way through is name for the rest of the day.

As he walked to the lunchroom, the map not needed when the majority of the student population was headed in that direction, he began contemplating the benefits of ditching the rest of the day and holing up in the library. At the very least he could teach himself some new things instead of listening to teachers drone on for ages. George’s words flashed through his mind, “ _Make me proud son.”_ He inwardly cringed, he couldn’t ditch. Not today at least.

Despite the rocky start, the day had been pretty enjoyable. He hadn’t made any friends, but he wasn’t really putting forth the effort. Class may have been boring but at least that opened his time for doing other stuff. He might even be able to snag some of the books the Washingtons owned to keep himself busy. They seemed to be the kind of people who wouldn’t mind. Hell, they bought him a new phone and laptop without a second thought, he doubted borrowing a book would be where they drew the line.

Alex began to relax, maybe things really wouldn’t be bad here. Sure, he had hoped that Lafayette’s friendship would be extended past the walls of the Washington household but he couldn’t fault him for keeping his distance. _Keeping a low profile is probably the best course of action_ , he thought, trying to make himself feel better. When shit hit the fan a second later, he wasn't even really surprised. It was his life after all.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna hear me bitch and complain while writing and get sneaky tidbits of the new chapter ahead of time and secrets from chapter’s past, come talk to me on[Tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/) :)
> 
> I wanna give a shoutout to everyone who has left comments and kudos. You guys mean the world to me, I hope this chapter makes you come back for more. Alex is gonna get fighty again, the squad will make their true debut, and much much more!
> 
> Translations:  
> Va te faire enculer: Go fuck yourself  
> Impressionnant, mon ami: Impressive my friend!  
> bâtard: Bastard  
> Mon cher: My dear  
> âme: Soul  
> Merde: Shit  
> Mon petit lion: My little lion  
> feu d'artifice: Firecracker  
> panique: Panic  
> tu sais: You know


	4. Four

Unlike the hallways, the lunchroom was suspiciously silent. There was a tension that filled the space, immediately setting Alex on edge. Navigating through the crowd, he managed to slip to the front with ease. In any other case, his small stature would be a brittle thorn in his side, but on the occasion it had its advantages. The scene that laid before him was one that would not soon be forgotten.

Lafayette was towering on top of a table, shouting in a mixture of French and English at another boy who was standing on the ground looking up smugly at the enraged teenager. There was a small circle of students blocking entrance to the faceoff, keeping any administration interference at bay. _Teenagers are like sharks,_ Alex thought, _a fight is like a drop of blood._

 _“_ And you know what else?! You are the perfect example of _écume._ Not even the _rivière_ would want you in its presence. Just a dip in their waters would pollute the entire body, just as you pollute the ears of our classmates.” Lafayette was spitting fire at the other boy, the jeers from classmates egging him on. He seemed to have grown to the size of a giant, his already tall stature plus the height of the table giving him a god-like appearance.

Alex bit his lip. He wasn’t sure what the other boy had done to set Lafayette off but he still considered the other boy a friend, even if it wasn’t mutual. He hiked his backpack higher as he tried to figure out what to do. Lafayette seemed to be holding his own today; he might not even want Alex’s help. Might even be resentful of the fact that Alex had acknowledged they knew each other.   
  
“This is a prime example of why immigration should enforce stricter laws. We don’t want people of such depravity living in our country.” The other teenager gestured to Lafayette. “Look at the way he holds himself. He’s a walking conundrum. I don’t see why people like him should be allowed into our wholesome nation when he doesn’t even know what he is. Is it he? Or is it she today? I can never keep track.”

There was a general murmuring of the crowd as they took in the other boy’s words. Lafayette fumed from where he stood; he was above everyone in the literal sense but the comments rolling through the crowd made him shrink in size. Alex could guess he felt small. He had known that feeling throughout his life.

Alex was the proverbial kicked dog in every essence of his being. It would be against the rules to not play his role now. He took a deep breath. He couldn’t let Lafayette get hurt. Even if he hated him afterwards, he had to defend him. He could take it. Whatever garbage coming out of the other boy’s mouth, he could take it. _I’ve got the words._ They were simmering under the surface of his skin, pooling into the depths of his throat, ready to rush out at the first sign of his perpetual silence being broken. The adrenaline was kicking in, his blood was racing, heart pounding in time with the pulsing in his ears.   

Alex went to take a step forward when he was abruptly pulled backwards by his bookbag; he kept his balance, but it was a near thing. The hand on his bag held fast even as he tried to yank free. Who the fuck did this person think they were? He had just managed to turn his head and get a look at his attacker. The teenager was huge, built in a way that made the scrawniness of Alex look stark in comparison. If Alex was going to fight this guy, it wasn’t going to end well. Scrappy as he was, this kid was pure muscle. Alex was eye level with his chest. The adrenaline in his veins morphed into alarm.

“Listen, don’t worry. Laffy Taffy over there has everything under control. He may not look it but you don’t wanna get in the middle of that.” The hand holding him hostage let go and clapped him on the back, causing Alex to flinch and almost fall over from the impact. The teen let out a curse, pulling Alex upright so he wouldn’t fall on his face.

  
“Sorry, man. Sometimes I forget my own strength.” He seemed truly apologetic but Alex took a step away from him as soon as he got his balance.

He didn’t know this kid, and from the looks of things he didn’t want to. The instant familiarity made Alex uncomfortable.

“How did you even know I was going to do anything? There’s, like, hundreds of students in here.” He was more perturbed that this guy had picked him out of the crowd than his relationship with Lafayette.

“Not hard to pick you out from the crowd, bro. You’re short.” There was a sharp retort on the tip of Alex’s tongue but the other boy barreled on. “Oops, that was insensitive. Sorry, I’m a bit of an accidental asshole. Didn’t mean anything by it. Sorry, man.”

Alex could feel himself deflate. A sudden shout from the middle of the room recaptured their attention.

“It is not even worth my time to continue this fight. It is like talking to an _imbécile_. Your IQ is so low, the thrashing you deserve would make me look bad. I’ve had enough of your stupidity.” The French teen hopped down from the table in front of the other teen, who was becoming more red as Lafayette spoke.

“I was trying to remind you of your place by showing I was above you, but it seems even that subliminal message has flown over your head. It must be hard to function when the only thoughts in your brain are those of hatred and ignorance.”  

The other boy opened his mouth but Lafayette cut him off with a harsh hand gesture. “ _Non!_ You have said your piece, Seabury. The brainwashing of your fellow cretins is obvious. I fear you will never be able to process an opinion without it having been fed to you first. I am sorry you must live a life of mediocrity. Have a good day. Do try not to speak to me again. Next time, I won’t be so nice.” At that, the spun on his heel and marched towards the crowd. They parted like the red sea, allowing him passage while the cheers and customary “oooooohhhhhhs” filled the room.

Alex could hear the boy behind him laughing heartily. “That’s our Lafayette. Never finishes a fight without dramatics. You see the look on Seabury’s face? Oh my _god.”_

Alex looked over. The boy was doubled over with laughter. He could feel his lip twitch in response. He pushed down his own merriment at Lafayette’s dramatic exit. It seemed that he hadn’t been needed afterall.

“Why didn’t the teachers or someone intervene?” he mumbled the to himself, the question seemingly swallowed by the noise of the room.

“This literally happens at _least_ twice a week. If they threw Laf in detention every time he had to defend himself they would lose their funding for the school.” The muscular teen had leaned over to make sure Alex could hear his explanation. The closeness of the other boy seemed cage - like and Alex had to resist the urge to react violently. He may have been annoyingly persistent, but he hadn’t hurt him. There was no reason to hit him _.Yet,_ his mind assured.

“Hey, why don’t you come sit with me and my friends? Anyone who is willing to fight a stranger on behalf of Laf is welcome to hang out with us.”

Alex gave him a searching look. “I don’t know…” He was by no means hungry, especially after realizing this was one of Lafayette’s friends. The French teen wanted nothing to do with him.

Alex had fooled himself thinking that they were friends because of yesterday. The fact that Lafayette hadn’t reached out to him all day was proof that the extension of friendship wouldn’t exist in the walls of school. This wasn’t the first time this happened. Sometimes the ties that help you survive in homes weren’t the same in school. He couldn’t hold it against Lafayette; he understood. He wouldn’t impose. It might make things at the Washington’s harder if he had to defend himself against the other teen.

The students around them had dispersed, leaving the two boys in an awkward stand-off. Alex yearning to be left alone and the other teen refusing to let him leave.

“‘I don’t know’ is practically a yes. C’mon. You have to meet the person you were trying to save afterall.”

The statement gave Alex pause as the bigger boy steered him out of the room. They had gone down an unfamiliar hallway before he figured it out. “I already know L—” 

There was a shout from inside the room as the two boys entered. “ _Mon petit lion!”_ Lafayette was suddenly in front of them, grabbing Alex’s face gently in his hands. "I have been waiting all day to hear from you. Why haven’t you responded?”

“What do you mean? I’ve been in class Lafayette.” Alex couldn’t help his defensive tone.

The other boy ignored it, simply tapping his nose then letting go of his face. “ _Oui, mon ami,_ your phone? The device that we picked up yesterday?” His tone was teasing but his eyes were serious. “I have texted you all day, with no reply. Your silence wounds me, _cher.”_

Alex could feel his face heat up. He pulled the device out of his pocket and sure enough there were dozens of missed messages.

“I thought…” He shook his head, trying to clear the cobwebs.

The other boy patted his cheek fondly. “ _You thought wrong_ _,_ _my dear. No worries. Yesterday I made a promise. We are friends. No more sad face._ _”_

Alex rolled his eyes at the the other boy’s tactileness, but couldn’t help the genuine smile that graced his lips at the boy's words.  _“Of course, sorry. No more sad face. Promise.”_

“Not to be a buzzkill but, Laf, you speaking French totally makes me feel left out.”

The moment was broken as Alex jumped out of Lafayette’s grasp. The French teen gave the boy a searching look before addressing the person who had all but dragged him here.

“ _Mon ami,_ there is no need to be jealous.” Lafayette’s eyes were dancing with amusement. “I have enough love for everyone.”

The other boy rolled his eyes, “Yeah, whatever. I guess this is Alex?”

Alex gave the other boy a look. How did he know his name?

“ _Oui!_ I thought you would know this. Why else would you bring him here?” Lafayette had moved back to the table he was sitting on.

Alex took the chance to look around. It appeared that they were in a classroom, though by the brightly colored posters on the wall it was hard to tell exactly what subject.

“No, man, he was about to fight Seabury.” The bigger teen laughed. “It makes more sense that this is your Alex though. Fighting random people is a bit strange.”  
  
Lafayette started to giggle behind his hand, “ _Oui,_ I have a feeling _mon petit lion_ is very strange in that sense. He punched Lee in the face yesterday.”

Alex could feel his face heat up again. He ran a hand through his hair. “Well you keep getting into trouble. How else am I supposed to help?”

“My man,” the larger boy leaned towards Alex with his fist held out, “anyone who punches Lee is a friend of mine.”

Alex looked at the teenager for a moment before copying the hand motion with confusion.

“Why did you leave that out of the poetic you waxed for us this morning, Laf?” The teen snorted. “You got Laurens so worked up he ran into a door.”

“Hey! That wasn’t funny. The nurse chewed me out for twenty minutes.”

A new voice entered the room, causing Alex to move closer to Lafayette’s side. He looked at his shoes and anxiously ran a hand through his hair. Alex could feel his brain running a mile a minute. He knew the voice. How did he know the voice? Was it someone from class?

“Besides, I’m glad it happened. There was a boy in the office...He…”

A beat of silence passed, “Oh? There was a boy in the office, _mon ami?_ Do tell.” Lafayette’s tone teased, knowingly.

Time seemed to stop as Alex put the pieces together. Laurens must have been the boy from this morning. The freckled boy with the kind eyes who had smiled at him before the door closed. He looked up from his shoes slowly, trying not to make it obvious. There was no need. The other boy was already staring at him openly. Their eyes met. Alex’s whole body warmed.

“Earth to John. Brother. Where did you go?”

The spell was broken as John lowered his gaze, turning to the muscled teen with a dazed expression. “What?”

He sounded so confused Alex couldn’t help the laugh that erupted from his body. He quickly covered his mouth but the damage was already done. All the other boys in the room were looking at him with various measures of amusement.  

“Sorry,” Alex tried, but Lafayette waved him off.

  
“Nonsense. No need to be sorry, _mon cher._ John did sound very stupid.” With that he patted Alex’s shoulder, ignoring the indignant squawk from John.

“Whatever, I wanna hear how Alex punched Lee in the face.” The muscled teen took a seat, on top of another table. “I’m glad you did it, but I’ve wanted to punch him so long you better make me feel like I’ve experienced it.”

Alex could feel his heart stutter at the attention of the three teenagers. “I assume that means you’re Hercules? Lafayette mentioned you’d be disappointed you didn’t get your hands on the asshole first.”

“You’re damn right I wanted to get my hands on him! But from the shiner I saw today, you did a pretty good job.” Hercules’ face held a wide smile. He seemed to almost bask in the fact that Lee was in pain.

Alex could feel his lip quirk in response to the other teen’s reaction. “He fell afterwards too.”

Hercules let out a whooping laugh, “Justice has finally been served, even if it was by our smallest friend. We should go at it sometime, I’d like to see what you got behind those skinny limbs.”

Alex could feel himself deflate at the other teens words. He had never fought for fun. It was always a matter of survival in some way, whether in the physical or moral sense dependent on the situation.

Lafayette must have noticed his stiffness because he clapped his hands together, effectively closing the conversation.

“I think a more interesting tale would be recounting how Laurens walked into the door this morning. Wouldn’t you agree, Hercules?”

Alex looked over at Laurens. He had taken a seat next to Hercules. There was a bit of panic in his eyes at Lafayette’s suggestion, “How about we don’t do that. It’s nice to meet you, Alex.” John’s warm gaze flitted over to his person, and once again Alex was enraptured by his eyes.

He felt dissociated from his body, “Nice to meet you too.” His mind finally settled, suddenly coming to a realization, “This morning you had a bloody nose. Was it because you ran into the door?” 

The other boy gave him a sheepish smile, “Yeah, but like I told the nurse,” he made a gesture at Lafayette and Hercules, “it was their fault.”

Alex could feel another grin on his face. He couldn’t remember the last time he had smiled this much.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The lunch period passed just like that, the boys sharing stories and arguing amiably with one another. Alex, for the most part, was quiet. He enjoyed the fact that they seemed to accept his silence. He liked Hercules’ big laugh and Lafayette’s calming presence. The fact that John kept catching his eye and giving him secret smiles that made his heart soar was just the icing on the cake.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Late that evening, Alex was once again sleeping on the floor. This time, he had not even given into the pretense of staying in the bed. It just wasn’t right. The bed itself was the epitome of everything he never had. He couldn’t force himself to sleep on it. It made the hairs on his neck stand up even considering it. Taking that kind of creature comfort when there were so many people suffering, so many people who had suffered. Alex didn’t deserve it. He didn’t deserve every kindness that these people had showed him the last few days.

The room was pitch black, and the way he was laying on the floor allowed for complete darkness. His phone was nearby, plugged in on its charger. The clock numbers that had seemingly kept him awake his first night at the Washington estate could not be seen. He was lying in total and complete darkness. His mind was racing—the true cause of his sleeplessness.

His mind flashed back to Mr. Fairfax, “ _This is your best shot. Don’t mess it up.”_ He wasn’t going to mess up, but he kept feeling like he was tripping over his own feet. He had punched Lee without thinking it through and he had almost verbally attacked Seabury. He had not intended to hit Seabury, but he would have. That would have disappointed George. George would show his true colors at that.

If George was angry, Martha would surely follow, and then Lafayette would be upset because he loved the Washingtons, Hercules and Laurens would not give him the time of day if he got on Lafayette’s bad side. That would surely push George over the edge. Surely.

Alex clenched the blanket tightly, pulling it over his head in a useless attempt to hide from his intruding thoughts. If he got thrown out of this house, Alex knew that the next would be awful. At least this one had the facade of being okay. So far no one had been outwardly malicious—at least no one who counted. He could take people like Lee and Seabury;  at the end of the day they were just two more adversaries that he’d defeated.

He wanted these people to like him, he realized suddenly. His heart was beating fast. He could feel the claws of panic begin to rise. These people mattered, and if they didn’t like him it was going to hurt. It was going to hurt and there was nothing he could do to stop it.

Alex could feel his breath start to quicken. He dropped the blanket, curling in on himself. Things were going to take a turn for the worst. That’s what always happened. Every time that he felt he might climb out of the hole of despair that his life had become he was thrust back in, worse off than before.

In Nevis, he and his mother had fallen ill with some passing sickness that quickly developed into a dangerous case of pneumonia. Without the money for a doctor or the strength to get help, it was only a matter of time before the illness passed or took them to the next life. Alex had stayed curled around his mother in a desperate attempt to give her his strength; she had been sick longer and was constantly struggling for breath. He was wracked with shivers and could barely breathe with the pressure that was on his chest. Both the combination of worry and sickness had him clinging to her hopelessly. When he’d felt her last rattling breath, his heart had nearly stopped too. His fever had broken soon after.

He was then sent to Uncle Peter’s house. Alex had met the man a handful of times when he was younger—enough to vaguely recognize but nothing more. His thoughts had been constantly bombarded with memories of his mother. Through his haze of grief he hadn't seen that Peter’s business was failing. The extra burden of taking on his nephew had seemingly sent him over the edge. He would scream at Alex for hours on end, blaming him for things that went over Alex’s head. When he’d found the man dead with an empty bottle of pills next to his body, Alex dissociated himself from the situation. It was as if a puppeteer took hold of his grief stricken body. He’d watched things happening but didn’t react. He’d been taken in by a kind couple that lived a few blocks away. They’d helped him as best they could. Then the hurricane hit.

The bits and pieces he could recall from that were frightening. He remembered the fear, the absolute terror of everyone around him as they’d tried to hide. He remembered harsh wind, heavy rain, the trees bashing at the building, then calm. Then he was being corralled by strangers, talking to him in low voices as if he were a frightened animal. Everything he knew was gone, destroyed in the storm. Alex fought through his despair through the written word. He wrote, and he wrote and he wrote until someone finally listened. Those people believed they had found a diamond in the rough, amidst the destruction. They’d sent him to America.

He couldn’t think about what happened next—not in the dark by himself. The monsters of the past liked to play at night when he was alone with his thoughts. Poking and prodding in a way that made sleep impossible. Those memories haunted his nightmares and waking hours. Alex opened his eyes. The blanket covering his head made the darkness impenetrable; he ripped it off his head, feeling vulnerable. He was curled tightly, hugging himself to stop the trembling.

A quick succession of buzzes near his ear caused him to flinch. The noise broke through the blanketing silence of the room, Alex slowly uncurled and looked for the source of the disturbance.

It was his phone; it was odd having the device. It was such a normal extension of everyday American life that Alex had never been truly exposed to. Being connected to people at all times was strange and daunting.

He stretched a hand out from under his blanket, ignoring the instant chill that wracked his body. The lit screen showered the room in light causing Alex to squint his eyes.

 

  * **_**_(1) New Message From John Laurens 2:14 a.m._**_**



 

_Hi. Hope this doesn't wake you but I just wanted to clarify that I don't make it a habit of running into doors. No matter what Herc and Laf say._

Alex sat up, holding the device in his hand carefully as if it were a bomb that could go off at any moment. When they had exchanged numbers this afternoon, Alex hadn't really thought that John would text him.

He considered the message.

**_To John Laurens 2:18 a.m._ **

_Lafayette has a tendency to embellish stories, if anything, I’m sure the door ran into you._

Alex bit his lip as he hit send. A few seconds past before regret sat heavy in his stomach; that didn’t even make any sense. He shouldn’t have tried to be funny. He put his phone down and ran a hand through his hair in agitation. The screen lit up with a new message and he fumbled to quickly unlock it.

 

  * **_**_(1) New Message From John Laurens 2:22 a.m._**_**



 

_Hahahha :) Exactly! I knew you would be on my side._

Alex could feel his face warm. If Alex had his way he would be on John’s side whenever he needed him.

 

  * **_**_(1) New Message From John Laurens 2:23 a.m._**_**  



_Would you be interested in hanging out after school tomorrow? Laf me and Herc normally chill in the lounge till our club meeting starts._

Alex could feel the beginnings of a smile stretch across his face.

**_To John Laurens 2:24 a.m._ **

_As long as Lafayette doesn’t mind, I would love too._

 

  * **_(2)New Message From John Laurens 2:25 a.m._**



_Of course he won’t, I’m pretty sure you’re his new favorite._

_Awesome. I’ll see you tomorrow Alex. Sweet dreams. :)_

**_To John Laurens 2:25 a.m._ **

_Goodnight John_

Alex put his phone down. His body was buzzing with energy. He had actually had a conversation with John Laurens. John Laurens didn’t seem to be put off by his quietness. John Laurens had invited him to hang out tomorrow. John Laurens also thought that he was Lafayette’s favorite.

For some reason, the last thought had him smiling softly to himself. He had made a friend. Lafayette was his _friend_. Lafayette didn’t care if other people to knew about their friendship either. He felt warm; the light of the moment seemed to chase away the monsters that haunted his thoughts.  

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

There was a gentle knock at his door, causing Alex to flinch from where he laid curled on the floor. “Alex, sweetie, it’s time to get ready for school. Come get breakfast once you’re dressed.”

Alex raised a weary hand to his eyes and rubbed harshly. He hadn’t been able to sleep after talking with John. He had been too keyed up. After the warmth of the moment had passed, the tendrils of anxiety began to take hold. He wanted to just be happy—to accept things as they were and take them at face value. Nobody was trying to trick him or use him in this instance. Yet, that went against every rule he had set for himself.

He sat up, ignoring the slight soreness from sleeping on the floor, and headed to the bathroom for a quick shower to wake himself up. With the light turned on, he couldn’t help but recoil from his reflection. He looked like death had warmed over. The cut on his lip had scabbed over; he would have to take care not to split it again. He was getting tired of wiping the blood from his face.The deep shadows under his eyes made his face look gaunt. The sting of exhaustion echoed through his whole body. He was so tired. He carefully took off his pajama shirt, dropping it in the hamper.

His bruises looked better. They were starting to get the sickly green color that meant they were on the mend. They didn’t look great by any means, but they were definitely starting to feel better. He could breathe deeply without wincing and sitting down wasn’t as much as a hardship as it had been a few days ago. They still twinged when he sat for too long but he could ignore the slight pain.

He finished undressing and hopped into the shower, the warm water made the lingering achiness of the night fade into a dull throb. Alex rested pressed his forehead against the cool wall of the shower, closing his eyes and breathing deeply. Today was going to be a long day. Alex looked at his hands; the water cascaded across the deep bruises that covered his knuckles. Those hadn’t begun to heal. _Not surprising since I added to them,_ he thought solemnly.

He got out of the shower a few minutes later, clean but not as awake as he had hoped. He threw on a pair of jeans and one of the sweaters that Lafayette had picked out for him. It was soft and was a deep moss green. The sleeves were a smidge too long and covered his palms but Alex liked it. He felt cocooned—safe almost.

  
He tugged on his shoes and grabbed his backpack before tying his hair in a messy bun. A few wet strands stuck to his neck but he paid them no mind. He quickly moved to the other side of the bedroom to throw the comforter back onto the bed. No need to attract unwanted attention if one of the Washingtons decided to come into the room while he wasn’t here.

He flicked the lock and slipped into the hallway. The house was mostly dark; the sun was just beginning to peek through the blinds. He slowly walked into the kitchen, trying not to make too much noise. Everyone was seated at the table. Lafayette was speaking in a hushed tone to Martha while George sipped a cup of coffee serenely.

Alex wasn’t really up for social interaction. He felt like he was fighting his body every step of the way. He must have made some kind of noise because George looked up from his mug, meeting his gaze. Alex could feel his stomach drop as the untroubled look on the man’s face turned into one of concern.

“Alexander, son, are you alright?” George’s words caught the attention of the other two occupants at the table.

Alex could feel the beginning throb of a migraine pulse behind his eyes. He wet his lips, ignoring the irritating pull from his cut and the dryness of his mouth. “Yes, sir, I’m fine.”

“ _Mon ami,_ you don’t look well. Did you sleep?” Lafayette was the next one to speak, he got up from his seat and walked over to Alex placing a gentle hand on his forehead.

The coolness of the other boys hands soothed the heat that had flushed his skin when he had garnered everyone’s attention. He resisted the urge to turn away as Lafayette came in close and inspected him analytically. Alex could feel his heartbeat speed up as the other boy continued to stare. A second passed, and just as Alex felt he couldn’t take the scrutiny a moment longer, the boy blinked and turned his gaze back to the Washingtons.

Lafayette’s hand dropped to his cheek, his thumb rubbing across the dark shadow under his eye. “I think that little Alex may need to stay home and rest today.”

  
Alex jerked himself away from Lafayette’s hand. “No, I’m fine. I can go to school.” He ignored the way his voice rasped, turning to the Washingtons. “I’m fine,” he repeated, putting some attitude into his words. His mind was fuzzy but it was moving fast, creating scenarios that he didn’t want.

He couldn’t spend the whole day alone with the couple. Not when he was vulnerable like this. It wasn’t safe. He had an ally in Lafayette; they were friends. He trusted the French teen to a degree. He did not trust these people. They may have been nice so far but he did not want to be left alone. Martha was dressed formally, looking like she was ready to leave for work at any moment. Washington was dressed casually, not like he had looked yesterday. No suit or tie this time. He was in comfortable clothes—still nice but definitely not going to the same place as yesterday. That meant that George would probably stay home with Alex. Alone. He had not been alone with that man. There had always been someone nearby.

A sense of deja vu struck him. **They were alone. Mrs. Atkinson was out of town with some of her friends on a spa weekend. Mr. Atkinson** **—** **Call me Christopher** **,** **Alex, you’re making me feel old** **—** **sat beside him on the couch as Alex worked on his homework. The older man was pretending to watch television, while really eyeing Alex. He had been doing that s** **inc** **e he** **’d** **arrived. Alex paid him no mind as he continued his reading. It wasn’t till the other man’s hand pressed warmly against his thigh that the feeling of something** **_wrong_ ** **began.**

A voice broke through the memory and Alex could feel air get stuck in lungs. Why was breathing so difficult?

Martha was the one to speak this time. “That might be a good idea. Alexander, sweetheart, George isn’t going into the office today—” She was cut off by Alex who turned to Lafayette in a panic. 

“ _Lafayette_ _,_ _ please don’t let them keep me home. Please. I don’t want to. Please. You said we were friends. Don’t.” _ To his embarrassment, Alex could feel the pricks of tears behind his eyes. He had turned to Lafayette at this point, his back to the Washingtons. The tension in the room was palpable, and Alex was barely reigning in the urge to cry.

_“Of course we’re friends, little lion.”_ Lafayette came close again, reaching up slowly, acting as if Alex were a skittish animal that needed to be calmed.  “ _Nobody is going to make you do anything_ _. P_ _romise.”_ He gently pulled Alex into his chest, wrapping him in a hug.

Alex could feel his breath stutter at the closeness, but the warmth of the other boy overpowered his anxiety.

 _“You are fine, little Alex. Don’t fret.” _ The taller teenager rested his chin on Alex’s head as he soothed the tremors from the shorter boy. Lafayette turned to the Washingtons and raised an eyebrow, silently asking permission to leave.

Martha looked close to tears. She had no idea what had been said between the two teenagers but it was obvious by Alex’s panicked face and desperate tone that things were not good. Not yet, at least. She looked at George, he seemed to be just as shaken as she was by the small boy’s behavior. George had seemed certain that things had taken a positive turn yesterday morning when he had dropped the teen off at school. Seeing him trembling in Lafayette’s hold, she couldn’t help but think they had somehow taken a dozen steps back.

George nodded at Lafayette, and the boy led Alex out of the room, blocking the couple from his view. They heard the front door open and shut. The silence in the room was oppressive.

“I think I need to make a phone call to Fairfax.” He paused, staring at the wall as if the boys would suddenly come back, “His reactions aren’t those of a child who is constantly getting into trouble, Martha.” George’s voice was calm, but she knew him well enough to hear the undercurrent of worry.

  
Lafayette popped back inside and grabbed his bag, giving the two of them a small smile, “Little Alex will be okay. I will watch him today, _oui?_ ” The French teenager stepped over to Martha and kissed her cheek, repeating the action on George. “All will be well.” He turned, hurrying back to the car.

They sat in silence for another minute. Martha turned fretfully to her husband. “I think giving Donald a ring is a good idea.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yoooooooooo we did it again you guys. Shout out to my amazing beta. Without her, this could have never been completed with such finesse. 
> 
> Come bother me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/) I literally moan and groan on there. My fussing over this chapter is legendary. 
> 
> Some fun secret bits are revealed on there too! Don't forget to comment ! I LOVE HEARING FROM YOU GUYS AND I CRAVE VALIDATION.


	5. Five

Alex was curled in the passenger seat of Lafayette’s car, trying to breath. It seemed like every time he sucked in a gasp of air, it was snatched away by the pressure on his chest. He could feel himself beginning to panic. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois_ _,_ _inspirer._ It wasn’t working. The numbers weren’t _working._ He squeezed his eyes shut, putting his hands to his hair and tugging, trying to anchor himself to the present. He didn’t want to become hazy; he didn’t want to slip into the past. He wanted to stay right here and not remember. He didn’t have to stay here alone with George. Lafayette said so. His heart skipped a beat. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois_ _,_ _inspirer._

There was the noise of a door opening, but Alex couldn’t piece together what was happening. He concentrated on breathing. _In and out_ _.Y_ _ou can do this. Breathe._ He brought his hands down from his head and hugged himself tightly, trying to keep the air inside his body so his burning lungs would get some relief.

He hadn’t seen the look on George or Martha’s face but his mind was filling in the blanks. He could imagine the distaste at his frantic words to Lafayette. They were probably already making phone calls, trying to send him back. The small moments that he had with George yesterday were gone. Dissolved like the sugar his mom would put in her tea to lessen the bitterness. That bitter taste was all that was left now. The Washingtons had been _kind_ but it had been a ruse. It was always a trick.

A hand on his shoulder snapped him back to reality. He recoiled violently, hugging himself even tighter.  
  
“ _Mon cher_ _,_ please open your eyes.” Lafayette’s voice broke through his mind; the kind tone wrapped around his frantic thoughts and momentarily quieted them. The request settled in his mind and he opened his eyes, blinking slowly at the other boy.

“There you are.” Lafayette had leaned over the console, making sure all his movements could be seen before reaching out and placing a hand on Alex’s knee.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, not making eye contact.

“I have no doubt what happened was not your fault _mon petit lion._ The past always has a way of haunting us when we least expect it. Your past seems to be _foncé_ _;_ darker than we have originally suspected.” His tone was gentle, trying to coax Alex into speaking.

“It is my fault though. I don’t pay attention. I should...I should have learned by now. Moments that make a difference slip through my fingers when I don’t pay attention, Laf. They fall straight through like sand. No matter how hard I try I can’t keep all the grains. I can’t keep them all. I can’t. Everytime something goes right a million things go wrong.” His tone was frantic. The words were expelling out of him like a confession.

He could feel the panic rise in his chest once more; the weight of the world seemed to be on his shoulders. He was going to have to leave another home. He hadn’t even made it a week. He would never get to see Lafayette again, hear Hercules laugh with his whole body, feel the warmth of John’s smile. He could feel the pressure of unshed tears pulse heavily behind his eyelids. It wasn’t fair. It just wasn’t fair that anything good kept being snatched away.

A hand appeared in his line of sight and before he could react, he had been flicked lightly on the ear. The motion startled him. The pain was not harsh but it shocked Alex into keeping his eyes open to look at his assailant in disbelief. Lafayette was giving him a fond look, completely unashamed of his action.

“What…?”

Lafayette smiled before taking hold of his hands gently. “We will work together and keep the sand from falling through, _oui_?” He tightened his grip. “Nothing will fall through with two hands. See? Laurens and Herc will also make sure none goes missing.”

Alex looked at their clasped hands for a moment before nodding quietly. It felt like he had used up the last of his energy reserves. He relaxed back into his seat; Lafayette took that as a cue to begin driving. The silence was peaceful.

They had been riding for a few minutes when Alex realized that the school was in the other direction. He gave the French teen a weary look. “Where are we going?”

“Ah! Well classes are not going to be beneficial for you today, little Alex, and I am going to keep an eye on you. So I thought we would—how do the American’s say—play hookey?” Lafayette had a mischievous grin, but he was watching Alex for any sign of trepidation.

Alex could feel the unease settle in his stomach uncomfortably. “Shouldn’t we...I’m sure I caused enough issues today. I don’t want to get you in trouble with the Washingtons too.” He started picking at his fingers, noting the bruises on his hands were stark against his skin.

“ _Mon ami,_ do you remember the rules that George and Martha have?”

He seemed to be fishing, but Alex rose to the challenge with confidence that had seemed to be in hiding. This was something he was good at. Alex had a memory that was second to none.

“Respect our boundaries and we will respect yours. Martha and I aren’t here to hinder you; we want to help. Being honest with us when things are bothering you or you need something is just as important as respecting one another in this household. Follow these rules and we will have no problems.” Alex said it all in one breath, exhaling slowly when he finished. He remembered it word for word, just like everything he paid attention too.

Lafayette let out a delighted giggle.“You are full of surprise, _mon cher._ That was quite amazing, very impressive indeed!” As his laugh died out, his expression turned serious. “The rules are true, little Alex. They are not false. We are exercising the right to respect our boundaries, and right now those boundaries are not the campus of school or the house of Washington. Also, a quick text has notified them of our plans; don’t fret.”

Alex was following his logic. He still felt like there would be harsh repercussions for skipping class but Lafayette had not lied to him. He was quiet, contemplating. “Do you think they’ll be...upset about this morning?” He twisted his hands together anxiously.

They drove silently for a few moments before Lafayette spoke quietly. “ _Mon petit lion,_ I can assure you that whatever feelings they have about this morning will not affect you in a negative way.” He paused for a moment. “But do understand if they are upset, it is not you who they are upset with.”

Alex let the words sink in, turning them over in his head. “Will you stay? If he gets angry? I know it’s a lot to ask and I understand if you don’t want to be caught in the crosshairs—”

“ _Non!”_ Alex looked at the other boy with wide eyes. Lafayette was staring at him with determination. “There will be no crosshairs.” He seemed to calm himself, sitting back in his seat and relaxing his grip on the steering wheel. “But for your peace of mind I will stay with you as long as you wish.”

Alex nodded in relief, turning to stare out the window. Whatever would happen tonight. He wouldn’t have to face it alone. They drove a few minutes in companionable silence before Alex remembered his original question.

  
“You never said where we were going.”

Lafayette’s grin settled into place, “ _Oui,_ we are going to Herc’s house. He and Laurens are going to play the hooky with us as well.”

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

George sat at the table, contemplating making the phone call. It was still early. The clock read just after eight, but the urge to do something was making him agitated. He had convinced Martha to go to work with the assurance that he would ring her if he discovered anything of importance; the look he got from that statement made him rethink his word choice. Correcting himself, he’d told her he would call as soon as he got off the phone with Fairfax.

When he had first heard from his old mentor, he had been surprised. He hadn’t spoken to the man in months. Martha was the one who kept up with correspondence regarding his past. She was always on top of the elegance of socializing. She would update him on anything of importance, so he didn’t pay much mind to the comings and goings of letters. She was the perfect wife, he could not have asked for anyone better. He was on his second year of his term as a Virginian Senator and he could not have made it this far without her support.

He stood from the table, refilling his cup. The steam from the coffee rose into the air, curling together before disappearing. He began to ponder Alexander’s behavior. He knew something wasn’t right. The boy was suffering—that much was obvious. The information he had received upon agreeing to take him in was false. Alexander did not seem to be prone to violent fits in the way his file described. The boy may have only been at their home for a few days but George had already gotten a read on him.

  
As a politician, observation was one of the most useful skills he had. The ability was a something that took years to develop. Perfecting it had taken even more time. When he had initially been pitched the idea for becoming the boy's foster parent, he had wanted to say no. He and Martha didn’t have children of their own, not for lack of love. Their lives were good and having a baby never seemed to be part of the plan. They had Lafayette who was like their son, but having children was never a route that they had actively pursued.

His thoughts weighing heavy on his person, he turned to walk to his office. He looked into the dark liquid of his coffee, thinking back to the conversation that had taken place only a few days ago.

_“Listen, George, I know this is a lot to ask of you but I need to call in a favor.”_

_George was a composed man_ _;_ _he didn’t let emotions run rampant on his face. Years being part of the public sector had washed that out of his system. In the confines of his home, he could let himself relax but that didn’t mean he would react. Despite his skill, Martha had always been able to read him. She raised an eyebrow in question at the wary look on his face._

 _“What kind of favor_ _,_ _sir? I am not at liberty disclose any information regarding my place of work if that’s what you’re after.”_

 _There was a huff of laughter on the other line. “No, my boy. I’m afraid what I need is much more dire than the inside scoop of the going_ _-_ _ons of the_ _S_ _enate. I need you to take a teenager off my hands. He has been causing trouble since he came to the_ _S_ _tates and I need someone to set him straight.” He paused for a second_ _._

 _George could feel his disbelief growing_ _._

 _“Sending him back to the Caribbean isn’t an option_ _. T_ _he higher ups won’t allow it. Something along the lines of bad press. Makes no sense to me_ _;_ _he has been nothing but a problem. Been here a year and has gotten kicked out of both houses we’ve placed him in.” There was a moment of silence, the other man catching his breath._

 _George couldn’t help the way his defenses went up for the unknown child. Problem or not_ _,_ _Fairfax shouldn’t speak about the teenager that way_ _. S_ _till he didn’t think that taking the boy in would be the best idea. They had busy schedules and Lafayette_ _. A_ _dding an unknown factor into the mix would cause a disturbance._

 _“Sir, I don’t think_ — _”_

 _“George, I know that this isn’t an ideal situation but this troubled youth needs your help. Surely you won’t allow him to continue to waste his life.” Fairfax went silent_ _._ _“He has amazing test scores_ _. H_ _is past is troubled but he has the ability to do well. He just needs a firm hand.”_

 _George let the information wash over him_ _. H_ _e was clearly being manipulated. It was easy to see through the words that his old mentor was using. He turned to Martha, who had been unabashedly listening to the conversation. Her jaw was set, a look in her eye that meant if he displeased her he would have hell to pay. He ran a hand over his head, before sighing into the phone._

 _“I don’t even know where to begin to get the paperwork started for something like this_ _,_ _Donald.” He heard a relieved sigh, from both ends of the phone. He shot a look at Martha who was smiling at him serenely._

 _“You and your wife have been approved as guardians for Lafayette, that has given you the ability to do this without too much hassle. And, luckily for us, I know someone who works in the government who can make some phone calls to get things squared away.” His tone was jovial, obviously relieved. “We will be there tomorrow afternoon. There’s some paperwork being sent your way_ _. D_ _o fill it out and send it back before this evening. Oh, there is also a file on the boy.” The man quickly went through the rest of his spiel, before hanging up._

 _George’s laptop made a noise_ _. H_ _e put his phone down and clicked on his email. Ignoring the paperwork for the moment, he clicked on the other file. At the top it read he skimmed through the details, shocked at the events that had led the boy to the United States. There was a photo under his history_ _. T_ _he boy looked exhausted_ _. H_ _e was small and thin but his eyes. His eyes were proof that his spirit had not been broken_ _. T_ _hey gazed determinedly through the picture._

It was hard to believe that was only a few days ago. Their lives seemed to have shifted greatly since the arrival of Alex. He was not as they had expected him to be. He still had that fire in his eyes—the fact that he had lashed out when George had called him son was proof of that—but it was dampened. Hindered by something that made the boy quiet, always watching, as if he were waiting for the other shoe to drop.  

This morning was the final straw. He had thought they had made progress yesterday. Alexander had seemed comforted by his presence at the school. He hadn’t missed the look the boy had given him when he left the building. He thought with those words he had gained the boy’s trust. The boys had came home and dinner had been a peaceful affair with Lafayette rambling on about the day. It had seemed like they had finally reached a potential routine—something that would get their lives and interactions on track.

This morning those easy beliefs were destroyed. The panic attack that had happened when the boy had just arrived had nothing on the look of pure terror on the teen’s face. George tried not to take it personally, but it had truly hurt his heart seeing Alexander so frantically afraid. The desperation of not wanting to be left alone with him had genuinely surprised George. The pieces to the puzzle of Alexander’s past homes were slowly coming together. The reasons he had been forced to leave those homes had been glossed over in his file, saying that the boy had violent outbursts. There was an unpleasant feeling in the pit of his stomach. There seemed to be a lot more to it than that.

Sitting at his desk, he reached for the phone. Talking to Fairfax would get him started—names at the very least. He was popular for a senator. He had lots of connections, many of whom resided in the North near New York. It wouldn't be hard to get information on the families that Alex had been placed with previously. He dialed the number, waiting for Fairfax to pickup. No, it wouldn't be hard to get the information. What to do with it...that might be.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Alex was now seated cross legged on the couch, as Hercules and Lafayette argued about which movie they were going to watch first. Lafayette must have texted the other boys before they had left the Washington's home. When they’d gotten there Lafayette had let himself in with Alex following meekly behind him neither; Hercules nor John had asked any questions. Just smiled and waved.

Hercules had a nice house. It wasn’t as big as the Washington home but it was beautiful. The couch he was sitting on was very comfortable, better than any of the furniture he and his mother had had at least. The muscled teen hadn’t batted an eyelash when they’d walked in, giving Alex a gentle smile and telling him to get comfortable before jumping into the movie debate with Lafayette.

“Well I don’t see why we have to watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame _again._ We literally watched it last week, Laf. Frollo gives me the fucking creeps. Can we just watch Brave or something?” The whine in Hercules’ tone made Alex’s lips twitch. They were in his house and he was trying to convince Lafayette to let him choose the movie. It was ridiculous.

The cushion beside him dipped. John had taken a seat to his left. He gave Alex a small smile. “Hi.”

Alex could feel himself blush. “Hello.” The warmth from his cheeks carried to the pit of his chest, settling there and warming his whole body.

John flicked his gaze to Lafayette who was now waving his arms indignantly, trying to get Hercules to see reason regarding his movie choice.

“They do this every time we watch a movie,” John whispered, trying not to attract the attention of the two arguing teenagers.

Alex gave the other boys a considering look “Do you really watch that movie Lafayette is talking about all the time?”

John looked up towards the ceiling, seemingly sending a prayer. “My dear Alexander, if we manage to watch that movie only once a week it's considered a blessing. I’m not even really sure why he likes it so much. It might be the saddest Disney movie of all time.”  

Alex felt himself grin at the other boy’s dramatics. “Don’t tell him but…” He paused, the effect working because John moved closer. “I’ve never seen it.”

John’s eyes widened. “Never?”

“Never,” Alex agreed, nodding his head.

  
“Well if you stay friends with us, you’re going to see it a thousand times over. It’s almost a rite of passage at this point.” John was smiling at him again, still leaning close.

Alex didn’t feel the need to shy away. It was probably due to the heaviness in his bones. He could feel the second wave of energy that followed his insomnia beginning to falter. He yawned and brought up hand rubbing his eyes tiredly. When the spots faded, John was sitting back against the couch again, giving him a fond look.

“You don’t look like you slept  well.” A look of mortification arose on the freckled boy’s face. “I totally kept you up last night didn’t I? I’m so sorry, Alex.” He looked ashamed, his smile fading into a grimace.

Alex looked at the other boy confused, before he realized what John was talking about. “You didn’t keep me up.” At the unimpressed glance he barreled on, trying to remove the frown from the other boy’s face. John didn’t look right if he wasn’t smiling. “No really, you didn’t. I...I don’t sleep well.”

John gave him a concerned look, his kind eyes prompting him to continue.

“Sleeping is hard. My mind doesn’t like to stay quiet.” By the end, Alex had trailed off, his voice becoming softer with every word. He wasn’t watching John’s face anymore, instead staring at his hands that were folded in his lap.

“Hey.” John’s voice caused Alex to look up. “I sometimes can’t sleep either. It’s okay. Don’t be embarrassed.” A gentle smile appeared on his face when he caught Alex’s eye, causing the other boy to nod and relax.

“Do you do anything to distract yourself?”

Alex gave the freckled teenager a confused look,  “What do you mean?”

John reached down;  he had brought his book bag with him. He unzipped one of the pouches and rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a medium sized book. It was hardback and looked like it had seen better days. John gave Alex a shy look before handing it over. With an encouraging nod from John, Alex carefully opened the book, turning to the first page.

“On nights I can’t sleep, I like to sketch.”

Alex didn’t notice John watching him closely as he delicately turned the pages. The drawings inside were incredible. There were all kinds; animals, scenery, people. One page made Alex pause. It held a beautifully shadowed picture of a woman and a child. She was older, but still young. There were freckles scattered across her face. Her smile held a familiar warmth and the young boy was cuddled to her side. They looked happy. She was sitting on an armchair with a book in her lap, the little boy was smiling up at her.

Alex gently traced the outline of the woman with his finger, spellbound by the detail. “It’s beautiful, John. Who is she?” He looked up, the freckled teenager was giving him a pained smile.

“That’s my mom. She passed away when I was ten.” John seemed to be waiting for something, but Alex wasn’t sure what it was.

He looked back at the drawing again tracing the smiles on the page. “Mine too.” Alex’s brain was tired. The edges of sleep were calling to him but he knew he couldn’t sleep here. He fought with the urge to close his eyes. His concentration was split between John, the drawing, and the battle against his exhaustion. His filter was completely gone, not even realizing what he said. “She died last year.” He gave John a sympathetic look before returning to the sketch book.  

Alex put his head down and continued to flip through the pages, taking care to stop and smile at the sheer number of turtle sketches. He was unaware of the look that John had shared with Lafayette and Hercules. The two had gone quiet, listening to the conversation. Hercules had given up, letting Lafayette have his way as usual.

The silence stretched until Alex’s cloudy brain finally noticed. He lifted his head, looking around bewildered. Three sets of eyes were on him. “What’s wrong?” He gently closed the book, handing it back to John who took it with a smile.

It didn’t take long for Lafayette to snap back into action. “Nothing is wrong, _mon petit lion_ _._ Just basking in the victory of winning.” He held out a disc. “Now we will watch the best Disney film of them all.” His words seemed to get everyone back on track.

Hercules turned to Lafayette, groaning disparagingly and throwing a look of despair at Alex and John. “We could’ve won if we had taken him together. We could’ve ended his Frenchy tyranny. We would have overthrown his reign of Disney terror.” Hercules collapsed on the other side of John, making the couch bounce with the sudden weight.

John huffed out a laugh and Alex gave Hercules a sleepy smile.

“Ha! Like you could take me on, _mon ami._ My reign of terror will last until I declare it over.” Lafayette slid the disc into place before walking over to the couch. The French teen looked at the lack of space remaining before coming to a decision. He bounced over to where Hercules was sitting and elegantly collapsed on top of him, ignoring the huff of breath, making himself comfortable as the movie started, stretching his legs across both John and Alex. Lafayette ignored the pinch to his side. Hercules rolled his eyes but settled back down. Lafayette was used to getting what he wanted, especially from Hercules.

Alex couldn’t help the smile that came with the sound of John’s giggles as they watched Lafayette get comfortable. The French teen was tall; his stretched form had his feet resting lazily in Alex’s lap. He didn’t mind this intrusion on his personal space. It seemed that these boys were just inherently tactile.

Alex thoughtlessly patted Lafayette’s ankle before turning his attention to the movie, missing the fond smile that was thrown his way. The Disney logo appeared and Alex could feel his body sinking deeper into the couch. Lafayette’s warm presence along with John’s warm body being pressed up against his side made him feel floaty. He heard Hercules laugh, and felt his lips try to smile through the exhaustion that had plagued him since he had been kicked out of the Chater home. He closed his eyes, planning on keeping them open twice as long once the burning sensation of fatigue had passed.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

The call to his old mentor was helpful, George easily fielding the man’s questions regarding Alexander’s adjustment into the household. It didn’t take much effort to get the man to tell him the names of the families Alexander had stayed with previously, and asking for the boys medical records wasn’t an issue.

He looked at the papers scattered on his desk. They were still warm from the fax machine. Sometimes it concerned him how simple it was to get the information that he wanted, a name drop here, a promise there. He would have to branch out and call in some favors to get a more in-depth inspection of these homes. The ease of getting private information was disturbing; it seemed very underhanded but it was for Alex. He would continue this investigation, despite his unease.

He had a theory about Alexander’s behavior. There was nothing he could do without evidence, and even though he knew this to be true, reading through the boy’s medical reports was jarring. The details of Alexander’s life were sliding into place and the tale was not full of happiness. He picked up one of the sheets of paper, scanning it with a frown.

To say that the list of injuries was alarming would be putting it lightly. How could Fairfax not have put the pieces together? Their brief phone call flashed through his mind.

 _“George, my boy, I hope this isn’t a phone call about Alexander.” His tone was teasing, but the undercurrent of irritation was obvious._ _“The boy’s a menace but surely you haven’t given up yet.”_

For all he spoke about wanting the best for children, Fairfax had left Alexander with the wolves. The boy was fresh to America and the only thing he had experienced on the soil was hateful. After everything he had been through, to deal with this… George let out a frustrated sigh, reaching for his phone. It was time to call Martha and share the details. He had a feeling she would come to a similar conclusion: Alexander was a victim of child abuse.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It was around noon when Alex finally managed to force his eyes open. He was panicked for a brief moment until he remembered where he was. His mind was still fuzzy with the need for more rest but he ignored it, raising a hand to his face and sleepily rubbing at his eyes. He was slouched over, curled into a tight ball with his head resting against something warm. Slowly, he began to sit up, wary of the other boys’ reaction to him falling asleep.

A movie was playing softly in the background. Alex looked at the screen for a moment but it was no use. He hadn’t seen any of the movies that Hercules and Lafayette had been arguing about; it wasn’t a surprise that he didn’t know this one either. He glanced over, seeing the other teens in a similar state as himself.

Hercules was sprawled out—seemingly dozing—but opened his eyes when he felt the other end of the couch move. He met Alex’s eyes and gave him a smile. Lafayette was cuddled into his side, very much asleep. It was strange seeing the teen so still. Alex raised an eyebrow.

Hercules rolled his eyes. “Don’t even get me started. I saw how you cuddled up with Laurens.” He said the words quietly, barely above a whisper.

Alex blushed, looking towards John. He was slumped against Alex, his neck resting awkwardly on the back of the sofa. He hadn’t moved an inch since Alex had fallen asleep and apparently had used the other boy as a pillow.

“Hey.” Alex looked back to Hercules, who was gently maneuvering Lafayette off of himself without waking the other teen. “Let’s get some food. I’m starving.”

A moment passed as Alex contemplated whether or not he wanted to follow the other teen, but the look Hercules threw over his shoulder as he walked away had Alex scrambling after him.

The muscled teen was rummaging through the fridge when Alex caught up.

“Sorry for falling asleep.” Alex ran a hand through his hair, smoothing down the wisps that had escaped.

The larger boy turned to face him, noting his tense stance, and gave Alex a smile. “Don’t worry about it. We would’ve conked out at some point.” He turned back to the fridge pulling out different fillings for sandwiches.

“Do you want any help?” Alex couldn’t help but feel nervous. He had only known the teen for a day, and Lafayette was in the other room asleep. All of his instincts were urging him to flee but he kept his feet still. Lafayette trusted this kid, and Alex trusted Lafayette.

“Nah, man, don’t worry about it. Take a seat on the counter and keep me company.” He brought everything over to the island, grabbing the bread. “Turkey okay?”

Alex nodded, still unsure of what he should do with himself. He took a deep breath and did as Hercules had suggested, hopping up on the counter. He sat quietly, watching the boy begin to pile turkey onto bread. He kicked his feet back and forth, trying to channel his nervous energy.

His mind was running in circles again; he could feel the nerves get the better of him. A vicious thought suddenly occurred to him, his stomach twisting. “Are you parents gonna be upset that you skipped school?” He clenched his knees to hide the slight tremors in his hands at the thought of something happening to Hercules because of him.

“Nope,” the muscled teen replied, placing a plate with the sandwich next Alex. “Mom’s really chill. Doesn’t care much about that kind of thing as long as we don’t overdo it.” Hercules gave Alex a smile at the whispered ‘thank you’ before going back to the island.

Alex picked up the plate, balancing it on his lap as he let Hercules’ words sink in. “Your dad?”

The other boy winced as if the question had physically struck him. “Ah. No. He’s not really in the picture. Hasn’t been since I was twelve.” His voice had taken a hard edge.

Alex picked at the food on his plate, mindlessly tearing the bread apart. “I get it. Mine split before I was born.” He gave Hercules an empty smile.

The muscled teen gave Alex a long look. “Things have been pretty shit for you, huh?”

Grimacing, Alex shrugged. “Could be worse.” At the end of the day he had gotten more time, something his mother didn’t receive. He was under no illusion. He deserved the shit that happened to him. It was his penance.

“Doesn’t make it any less painful.” Hercules was smiling at him sadly. “If you ever wanna talk about anything, you have my number.”  
  
Alex opened his mouth to protest, but the other boy cut him off. “We’re friends, even though you didn’t help me overthrow the French tyranny this morning.

Alex snorted, thankful for the change in topic.

“What the hell was that man? You can’t tell me you actually _like_ the Hunchback. It’s gotta be the worst Disney movie of all time, Alex.”

“I was tired?” he tried, attempting to get the other boy to stop ranting. Hercules gave him a look of despair that had Alex smiling. “Is the movie really that bad? I thought all Disney movies were happy?” Alex had never seen a Disney film; he wasn’t really a movie watcher. There were no local theaters in Nevis, and they hadn’t had the money to go anyway.

“You’ve never seen it? You are so fucking lucky, Alex You have no idea. Wait—” He stopped abruptly, turning away from the sandwich he was putting together to face Alex. “Happy? How many Disney movies have you seen?”

Alex was at a loss. Hercules’ look was making him itch. “None?”

The maniacal smile that appeared on Hercules’ face made Alex’s eyes widen with alarm.

Alex unthinkingly put his plate down to follow the other boy. “Uh...no? I don’t think so.”

“Oh, man. This day just got so much more interesting. Let’s go back to the others. I’m about to school you on some classics.” Hercules began walking back to the living room, grabbing a second plate full of food and a couple of water bottles.

The muscled teen abruptly stopped walking. Hercules was standing with a disappointed look on his face. “I don’t mean to mother hen you, man, but you need eat. I’m sure you didn’t have breakfast and Laf mentioned how you push food around at dinner.”

Alex blushed.

“Do you want something else?”

He shook his head. “No, sorry.” He moved to pick the plate back up.

“Is...is this a thing?” Hercules was giving him a concerned look.

Alex tilted his head in confusion. “A thing?”

“You and food?” the other boy prompted.

“Oh.” Alex realized. “No.” He shook his head, trying to get the words in an order that would make sense. “I mean, not in the way you’re thinking.” 

Hercules was still staring, waiting for him to continue as they made their way back to the other boys.

“I forget. Like, I’ll get distracted and forget. Or if I’m thinking about something I lose track of whatever I’m doing…” He trailed off giving Hercules a sheepish smile. “I don’t do it on purpose; I just don’t remember.”

The muscled teen shook his head. “You are something else, Alex, and I mean that in the best way possible.” He gave the smaller boy a fond look.

Alex smiled back, warm from the thought that Hercules cared. It was nice, having friends. He bit his lip. Despite Lafayette’s assurances, he knew returning to the Washington house was going to be painful. Alex was glad he was able to make a few good memories before everything went to shit.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It was half past seven when Alex and Lafayette made it back to the Washingtons’ home. Despite the calmness of the day, Alex was tense. He felt like a soldier about to enter the warzone with no weapon. Lafayette was in front, leading them to the door. Well, maybe Alex had one weapon. Lafayette had promised to stay.

The French teen unlocked the door, stepping inside, and looking back to make sure Alex was following. A gust of wind blew by—a gentle caress of frigid air.

Alex shivered. He had forgotten his coat that morning. The straps of his backpack were digging into his shoulders, a familiar weight in a dangerous environment. He urged his feet to move forward, commanding them. He couldn’t move. He was stuck. Frozen in terror of what might happen. What will happen. He had experience. He knew what was going to happen. He had let himself have a reprieve today, spending time with John, Hercules, and Lafayette. That’s where he’d go when things got bad. He’d go back to the living room, on the sofa, watching silly Disney movies with his friends.

“Little Alex, come on. It is _il fait froid._ ”

As if by magic, a snowflake drifted down and landed on his nose. He wiped it away with a shiver, staring at Lafayette like a frightened animal.

Lafayette coaxed him forward, placing a hand on his shoulder and pushing gently. “Don’t worry, _mon petit lion.”_

Alex let the soothing assurances wash over him. He took a heavy step forward. He could do this. He would do this. He’d survived worse. Getting through this would just be one more obstacle he’s managed to conquer.

The teens walked towards the kitchen, unbeknownst to the couple who were arguing with one another. The boys stood at the entrance, Lafayette impatiently tapping his foot as he waited to get the Washingtons’ attention.  

Martha’s voice had a hard edge as she spoke. “George, we have to ask him. There are other children’s lives at stake. He needs to be given closure. He’s being haunted by the events of his past. If putting those monsters away will help him do it, I don’t see why you want to wait.” Her voice had raised, temper getting the best of her.

Alex could feel an instant sweat break across his brow. He stood beside Lafayette, unmoving, still as a statue, holding his breath. They couldn’t be talking about him.

There was a deep sigh. “All we have is hearsay at this point, love. We don’t need to cause Alexander discomfort. If this turns out to be nothing, think of the effect it will have on him. I should hear back from my people in a few days. Until then we should just sit tight.” There was a note of finality in his voice.

Alex was frozen. They were talking about him. They knew. They were asking questions. His field of vision narrowed. He had to leave. He had to get out. He couldn’t breathe.

Lafayette took a step into the kitchen with a confused look on his face. “What are you sitting tight for?”

Martha jumped at the sound of Lafayette’s voice, clearly startled. She put a hand to her face, looking quickly at Alex who stared blankly ahead. George looked up from the sheets of paper stacked on the table, giving Alex a similar look of concern.

There was a moment of silence—a calm before the storm.

George cleared his throat, gaining the attention of Alex, who stared with unseeing eyes. “Son.” His tone was calm, a quality the rest of his person did not hold. He stood up, taking a step forward towards the teenager.

That was a mistake. The movement jarred Alex out of his stupor. Panic seized his body, making it act on its own accord. He took a step back. George reached forward, as if to grab him. Alex recoiled, colliding painfully with the wall.

“Alexander—”

Whatever George was about to say was lost. In the next instant, Alex was running. Sprinting down the hallway of the house. Wildly grasping for the door that would lead outside. Outside was safe. Outside was away. Once he was outside he could leave the situation and these people.

Alex’s heart was jumping like a panicked rabbit, fear blinded him as he managed to swing the door open. He didn’t hear the heavy footfalls behind him, attempting to catch up. He saw the darkness of the winter night, and threw himself out the door. He jumped the stairs, forgetting how many were actually there and tumbled the rest of the way down.   

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright guys. Here it is! Shoutout to my beta, without her this wouldn't be possible. She's a great sounding board and a lovely person all around. 
> 
> So what did you think about all that? I would love to know! Comment and talk to me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/) Check out the amazing artwork while your there! 
> 
> Well...till next time? xxx


	6. Six

Alex heard muffled yelling as he finally came to a rolling stop. The rough bricks of the stairs tore at his skin. His wrist twinged, coming into jarring contact with the final stair. The adrenaline of the moment protected his mind from the pain. He lay there, dazed. Beneath him, his overheated body melted the snow, making his skin break out in goosebumps as it soaked through his sweater.

He struggled to rise, his vision dancing as he tried to find the ground. There were more words being shouted, but he couldn’t hear them through the blood rushing in his ears. _Get away. Get away. Get away. Run. Now._ He managed to get upright, one foot out. His body tense; he lurched forward, only to be jerked backwards into a warm chest.

Alex struggled. He twisted, thrashing, using any and all moves he could make to break the ironclad hold. His mind was roaring at him. He was going to let something happen _again_ . He was too weak to get free. This time fighting wouldn’t be enough. A distressed keening sound echoed through his head . T he noise was unbearable. He wanted to hide. He wanted to run. Run away. Get away from the noise. Get away from whoever was holding him. He wanted to get away, and he _couldn’t._ He was stuck and nobody was going help him this time. Nobody. He was alone. There was nobody left.

The will to fight left him; he went limp in his captor’s hands. His body shook, wracked by the choked sobs that tore through him. He missed his mother. He shouldn’t have made it off Nevis. America was a mistake. He wanted to go home. Back to the way things used to be. Before the hurricane. Before Uncle Peter. Before the sickness. He wasn’t strong enough to do this on his own anymore. He was tired. Exhausted. Alex just wanted it all to stop.

Distantly, a gentle baritone registered in Alex’s mind repeating words of reassurance. It felt like he was underwater. He shut his eyes tightly, raising his hands just enough to put them over his ears blocking the muffled words floating through. He didn’t want to hear anything. He just wanted it all to stop.

The forceful hold turned gentle, loosening enough that Alex could curl in on himself, barely registering the fact that he was being picked up and carried.

By the time he opened his eyes, Alex had been placed on the couch. The warmth of the house colliding with his damp clothes and tear-stained face caused him to shiver uncomfortably. He brought his hands down from his ears, push himself to a sitting position before scrubbing at his eyes. His breath was still stuttering. He couldn’t catch enough air. Another shiver wracked his frame. A heavy quilt was draped over his shoulders, startling him.

He looked up, biting his lip. He trembled as he grabbed the edges of the blanket, pulling it closer to his body. A shield against whatever was about to happen.

“Alexander...” George was standing in front of him, a pained look on his face.

Alex watched the man sluggishly. He was resigned at this point. There was nothing he could do to change what was going to happen now. Alex would just have to take it. It did not escape his notice that they were the only ones left in the room. This was it.

George let out a deep sigh, eyeing him critically. “Will you let me clean you up?"

Alex gave him a blank look.

George sat down across from him on the opposite sofa, his eyes soft. “Son, you’re bleeding all over the sofa.”

It was like George’s words broke the spell of numbness. His body throbbed; he couldn’t help the that gasp slipped out. Everything hurt.

There was a flash of movement. George was now kneeling in front of him.

Alex closed his eyes tightly, trying to breath through the pain.

“You’re going to need to take the sweater off.” George reached forward, suspending the motion when Alex flinched.

George leaned back. “Alexander.” His voice was serious. “I need to make sure you aren’t hurt enough to go to the hospital.”

Alex’s eyes snapped open in distress. Doctors were awful. They asked questions he couldn’t answer.

“Alexander,” George said calmly. “You don’t have to do anything you don’t wish. I would prefer if you allowed me to look you over.” He paused, giving Alex a concerned look. “If it’s something we can’t handle…” he paused, giving the teenager a considering look, “we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Alex could feel himself deflate, the last dredges of energy leaving him. He squeezed his eyes shut as he felt George tug at the hem of his sweater. The material stuck to his arms, pulling his skin painfully.

George ran a gentle hand over his stomach, fleetingly touching the green-colored bruises. “Son, you really did a number on yourself.”

The hands left Alex’s body, prompting the boy to tense. A snapping noise broke the silence, causing Alex to open his eyes. George was bent over a first aid kit, pulling out bandages and other supplies. The teenager continued to look on, apprehensively.

George turned his attention back to the Alex, careful to hide his reaction to the wounds that were obviously older. The man focused on the bleeding lacerations on the boy’s arm. A few quiet minutes passed as he wiped away the worst of the blood.

“You’re worried about the repercussions due to your behavior from this morning, correct?”

The words floated through Alex’s mind, but it took him a moment to decipher the meaning. This morning seemed like so long ago.

George took his silence for agreement. “I want you to know that punishment in this house,” he hummed unhappily, realizing the cut was deeper than he had hoped, “is never physical.”

Alex felt himself flinch as George continued clearing away the blood on his arm; the cut was large, spanning the length of his forearm. The words finally resonated in his mind, and his eyes moved to George’s face. The man didn’t share his gaze. He was focused on cleaning Alex’s wound. The look on the older man’s face was achingly familiar.

 **_“_ ** **_Cariño, you need to be more careful_** ** _._** ** _” She wiped roughly at his scraped knees, concern making her harsh. Her face was flitting between different emotions. Concern. Affection. Worry.“Someone will do a lot worse than push you down if you make them angry.”_ **

**_Ten year old Alex was seated on a stool as his mother continued cleaning his battle wounds. He wasn’t crying, but it was a near thing, his eyes glistened with the pinpricks of tears. He wasn’t going to cry though. He wasn’t little anymore._ **

**_“_ ** **_But_** ** _,_ ** **_mamá_** ** _,_ ** **_you should’ve heard them talking_** ** _. I_** ** _t wasn’t nice! I couldn't just let them_ ** — **_”_ ** **_H_** ** _is chin was grabbed roughly._ **

**_“Alexander, you are my tesoro. A treasure that nobody else in the whole world can ever hope to have_** ** _._** ** _”_ ** **_H_ e** ** _r eyes were frightened, shining with tears of her own. “If you continue to be foolish, someone will take you from me.”_ **

**_Alex couldn’t help the indignation that flared in his chest_ ** **_. H_ ** **_e pulled his chin out of his mother’s grip_ ** **_._ ** **_“No one is gonna take_ ** — **_”_ **

**_“Do not speak like that!”_ ** **_s_** ** _he spat with alarm. “You will be taken by God before your time, Alex. You must be careful. You must. For me.” She placed bandaids on the worst of the cuts, giving her son an imploring look. “Promise me you will be more careful.”_ **

**_Alex felt awful for making her so upset. He looked at his lap, shameful for causing his mother distress._ **

**_A hand grasped his chin, this time gently. He met her gaze_ ** **_._ ** **_“I love you. I’m proud that you stand up for yourself and your beliefs. But you must be more careful. I love you too much to see you hurt all the time.” She gave him a fond smile, catching him easily as he jumped to hug her._ **

**_A few tears ran down his cheek as he tucked his head into the crook of her neck_ ** **_._ ** **_“I’m sorry,_** ** _mamá. I'll stop fighting. I promise.”_ **

**_She made a clucking noise, rubbing his back, “Don’t make promises you can’t keep_** ** _,_ ** **_n_** ** _iño_** ** _._ ** **_”_ ** **_S_** ** _he tugged on his hair lightly_ ** **_._ ** **_“_** ** _J_** ** _ust don’t try to start a fight with five people at the same time."_ **

**_Alex grinned as he pulled away, kissing her cheek. “I promise_ ** **_. N_** ** _o more fighting five people at the same time.” He scampered out of the small kitchen, grabbing his library book as he went._ **

  ** _His mother smiled, shaking her head fondly, calling after him, “You’re going to send me into an early grave.”  Their echoing laughs joined in the small apartment, lifting the tense atmosphere completely._**

George’s face was doing the same thing his mother’s would do when she was cleaning him up after he did something stupid. Alex’s stomach clenched painfully. He missed her. Every time the pain from her death began to fade, it seemed like it came back stronger.

He raised his unoccupied hand to his face, attempting to brush away the loose strand of hair. The movement was a mistake; his wrist throbbed, making him gasp audibly. He wasn’t able to stop the tears. His breaths began to come in bursts as he tried to breathe through the pain. Everything hurt but this positively _ached._

George’s head jerked towards his face, his hands finishing the last butterfly bandage on his arm.    

“Alexander?” George looked at the boy who was now cradling his wrist to his chest, his head down as he wheezed, trying to stop the tears and shortness of breath.

George inspected the the boy’s wrist, his worry growing. He had originally been concerned with the blood, but the discoloration of Alexander’s wrist was distressing. He gave a quick look to the boys bandaged arm, pleased that they had stayed intact.

“Son.” George’s voice was calm, though he was anything but. He waited until the boy painfully met his gaze. “I need to see how badly injured your wrist is.” The boy seemed to curl in on himself. They sat for a moment in silence. George was going to wait it out. He knew that Alexander would show him eventually; the fact that he had allowed George to help him this much was a sign that the boy was beginning to trust him.

The teenager eventually sagged into the couch, warily holding his wrist out. He was watching George closely—for what reason, George couldn’t guess. He gave the swollen limb a frown, careful not to directly touch anywhere the bruising was showing. This was past his first aid skill level. He would have to call in the big guns.

When George had originally carried Alexander inside, Martha and Lafayette had hovered close behind. He and Martha had had a silent conversation, deciding it would be best if he were to deal with Alex in case he tried to run again. Martha was standing at the door, ready to intercept the teenager. Lafayette was standing near the staircase, close enough that he could keep an eye on the boy and assist George if he needed help.

He gave Alexander a considering look. The boy didn’t seem like he was going to try anything. The whole ordeal appeared to have sucked away whatever energy he had left. In fact, he looked worse than he did this morning, which was saying something.

George let out a sigh. He hoped Martha could handle this. Making Alexander go to the hospital would probably do more harm than good.

“Martha, can you come here for a moment?” He spoke normally, not projecting his voice, keeping it at the same level of volume to keep Alexander calm. He was watching the teenager, who was watching him in return.

The familiar gait of Martha echoed through the silent house. There was a pause and the mutterings of a whispered conversation before another set of footfalls were heard. Martha had sent Lafayette upstairs since the danger of Alexander bolting had passed.

Alex waited anxiously as Martha’s steps got closer. He had finally fought through the haze of pain and was once again in control. He glanced towards George. The man had been nothing but kind, and had helped him. Had soothed his wounds just like his mother, Alex felt something inside him settle. Like a piece of his splintered past had melted away and been alleviated with the gentle care the man had shown.

He got lost in his thoughts so quickly, he didn’t notice Martha taking George’s position on the floor. The older man moving to stand beside the sofa, keeping close to Alex’s side. Alex did, however, notice her hand as it reached for his arm. He shrunk away, recoiling violently into the armrest of the couch. The sudden motion jarred his wrist. He clenched his teeth against the pain.

“Oh. I’m so sorry dear,” Martha’s gentle voice filtered through the pain. “I should have known better.”

Alex could feel his proverbial hackles rise at her words. He thought back to the overheard conversation between the Washingtons.

_“George, we have to ask him. There are other children’s lives at stake. He needs to be given closure. He’s being haunted by the events of his past. If putting those monsters away will help him do it, I don’t see why you want to wait.”_

Alex watched her carefully through slitted eyes. A cautious hand squeezed his shoulder lightly. He didn’t have to turn to know who it was. For some reason the hand calmed him enough to drain the rising panic that had entered his body.

“Alex, may I please take a look at your wrist?” Martha was giving him a comforting gaze. “I just want to make sure it’s not something more serious than a sprain.”

He considered her for a moment. He knew she wouldn’t try to harm him. Not when George spent so much time making sure he wouldn’t bleed out. He glanced down curiously at his other arm. It hurt but the pain was drowned by the throbbing of his wrist. The other arm had bandages that went down from the middle of his forearm to his elbow.

“Alexander, have I told you how Martha and I met?” George made his way to the sofa that was directly in front of Alex, sitting down smoothly, looking at the teen for an answer.

Alex bit his lip, suddenly aware that he hadn’t spoken since he had been carried inside. Instead of talking, he shook his head. He hadn’t been at the Washington home very long; of course he didn’t know how they met.

George smiled kindly at Alex, winking at Martha who was giving him a questioning look. “Ah, well it is quite the tale. Martha was a bit of a busybody—”  

“Excuse me, sweetheart, if I recall correctly, you were the one who couldn’t listen to directions.” She turned to give George a pointed look, before shifting back to Alex, “I hope you realize anything he has to say about me needs to be double-checked. He has a way of skewing the story in his favor.” She held out her hand, motioning towards Alex’s wrist. “Let me see, hon. I know you’re tired. The quicker we do this the quicker we can get you settled for bed.”

Alex hesitated for a second, before holding his arm out. He was distracted from his discomfort by George continuing.

“Of course, dear. I was the one who couldn’t listen to directions and you were the one who refused to let me leave when I was perfectly fine.”

Martha laughed lightly, pressing gently along the edges of Alexander’s wrist, “You had been shot, George. You were not allowed to leave the bed, despite your attempts. I wasn’t going to let you ruin all the hard work the doctors went through to patch you up.”

Alex was half listening, fighting the urge to pull away from Martha’s probing hands. Every touch sent sparks of pain down his arm, making him tremble.

George’s tone was borderline petulant, causing Alex to grin.“While that may be true, it wasn’t a bad shot. Just a graze. There was no need for—”

Martha rolled her eyes in exasperation. “Do you hear this man, Alex? I promise you, all military men are the same. They downplay their wounds for some misplaced idea of pride.” She pressed into Alex’s skin, causing the boy to hiss. “I was an army nurse. I knew all the tricks and I took no lip from anyone. Especially the ones who acted like getting shot was no big deal.”

She gave Alex a concerned look “Okay sweetheart, it doesn’t feel broken. It looks like a pretty bad sprain; not enough for a cast but we need to ice it and keep the swelling down.” She allowed Alex to pull away. He cradled his injury to his chest.

“George, go fetch an ice pack from the freezer.” She returned her attention to Alexander, “We’re going to need to wrap it, once the swelling goes down a bit.” She hunted in the first aid box, pulling out motrin and an ace bandage. She stood up to determine George’s progress with the ice, assuming the boy would be relieved to have a moment to compose himself.

Alex didn’t think about his actions, he just knew that he wanted to hear the rest of the story. He also knew that he didn’t want to be by himself. She gave him a questioning look; he could feel himself blush.

“Why did he get shot?” His voice was raspy, scratchy from disuse, barely above a whisper.

Martha gave the boy a fond smile. “He was in a training accident. The rumor was he got overzealous and was showing off. Another soldier wanted to put him in his place so they made a ridiculous bet.” Her tone had become exasperated. “Shooting the target with each of them standing in the way, to show bravery and mastery of skill.”

She gave Alex a scathing look. “If you ask me, the only thing that was shown that afternoon was stupidity.”

Alex grinned; her exasperated tone did little to hide her affection.

Footsteps could be heard. Alex looked towards the sound, surprised to see Lafayette hesitating at the edge of the room. He looked distressed, unnerved in a way that Alex had never seen before. He seemed unsure if he would be welcome, and Alex realized that was probably his fault. He inspected his blotchy torso, covered in bruises. His bloodied arm, and his swollen wrist weren’t fun to look at either.

“ _Mon petit lion_?” Lafayette’s voice was tentative.

Alex looked over at the tall teenager. He was holding a small bundle under one arm. He seemed to be waiting for Alex to say something, but the hurt teenager couldn’t. He didn’t .know what to say. Lafayette had said they were friends but Alex knew he was a lot to deal with.

“I’m going to go see what’s keeping George,” She took a step away from Alex, “Lafayette, sweetie? Keep an eye on him.” Her gaze moved back to Alex, “I’ll be right back with ice, then we can see about wrapping your wrist.” She disappeared into the hallway that led to the kitchen.

Her departure seemed to spur Lafayette into motion. He quickly made his way to Alex’s side and made a noise of despair as he got a closer look at the damage.

  
“Oh , Alex. _Mon cher._ I am so sorry. I should have been quicker and grabbed you before you fell.” His hands ran feather-light over the expanse of bruises.

Alex sifted through the fast paced ramblings Lafayette thought this was his fault. He shook his head in disbelief, Lafayette saw the action and with despair continued his apology.

“You must think the worst of me. I stayed as long as I was able. Martha requested I go upstairs to fetch you a something warm and clean. But you were never alone, _mon cher_. I promise.”

Lafayette hadn’t left him alone with George. A wave of affection for the other boy flooded Alex’s body. Despite the stressful turn the evening had taken, he felt more comfortable in his own skin. Lafayette was truly on his side.

The French teen was standing in front of him forlornly, waiting for Alex to say something.

“It’s okay, Laf.” His tone was grainy, still sore from earlier.

Apparently that was exactly what Lafayette needed to hear. He quickly sat beside Alex, pulling him into a one-armed embrace, careful of his injuries.

“Oh, I’m so glad to hear you are not upset, _mon ami._ ” He paused for a moment, a frown stretching across his face. “You are freezing. Let’s put on this sweater, _oui?”_

Before Alex could respond, Lafayette was pushing his head through a hole. Gently maneuvering his arms until he was swaddled in the oversized piece of clothing. 

“I didn’t want to go in your room without asking, but this is my favorite sweater.” He smoothed the creases. “It is very warm, _oui?”_

Alex nodded in agreement. It was also really soft. He hadn’t even realized he was so cold; the pain had seemingly numbed him of the effects.

Lafayette reached around him, tugging the quilt that had fallen off his shoulders at some point back around his body. He was manhandled, pushed and pulled into a position until his back was against Lafayette's chest.

Alex couldn’t help rolling his eyes. “Is this really necessary?”

The French teen made a displeased noise in his throat. “ _Oui,_ it is completely necessary.” A pair of arms reached around his middle, tugging Alex close, “I saw you fall, little Alex. I saw you try to fight your way free and I could do nothing but watch. It was _effrayant, mon ami.”_

Alex could feel the tendrils of shame begin to rise. “I’m sorry. I thought…” He was suddenly reminded why he had ran away in the first place. Knowing he couldn’t make another escape attempt, especially with Lafayette determined to cuddle him to health. He burrowed closer, hiding his face in the crook of Lafayette’s neck as he tried to calm the fledgling panic that was trying to take hold of him.

“They know, Laf, I didn’t think anyone would ever find out.” His voice barely had any volume, a soft whisper into the other boys skin.

Lafayette hummed. “What do you think they know, _mon petit lion?”_

Alex considered the question. It was obvious that the Washington's knew had something happened. George’s face when he saw the bruises on his torso and his comment regarding Alex’s fear of punishment were all clear signs. He berated himself for not being more subtle. He couldn’t help his body’s reactions but it still felt like he had let himself down.

A comforting hand ran down his back. Alex tried to think back to the last time he had been hugged. A heavy weight settled in his stomach;  he didn’t want anyone to know the extend of what happened. But if he gave a little, he could keep the rest. The shame wouldn’t touch him. He could continue to ignore it. Bury it deep down like he had before. The Washingtons couldn’t possibly know everything; they only suspected.

Alex could feel his body begin to relax. They didn’t know anything. Not really. Admitting to being a punching bag to an old man who didn’t have anything better to do was easy compared to… He shook his head, trying to dislodge the train of thought.

“Alex?” Lafayette prompted.

Alex took a deep breath, “It’s not...It’s not a good story. It doesn’t have a happy ending like George and Martha meeting.”

“It doesn’t have to be a good story, little Alex, it just has to be your story.” Lafayette’s tone was comforting, but Alex was already formulating a way to tell half the story. He didn’t want anyone to know about the Atkinson house. If had to air a few demons from his past to avoid talking about _him,_ Alex would just have to let it go.

“Okay. Just promise,” Alex took a breath, biting his lip, trying to somehow ground himself in the moment, “to let me finish.” He distantly heard the telltale signs of the Washingtons re-entering the room. He closed his eyes, letting the memory take hold. He felt Lafayette nod, his chin resting on the top of Alex’s head.

  
“My first foster home, was the Atkinson house. They seemed really nice when I got there. I got my own bedroom and everything.”

 **_“All of this is mine?” The room was average size, but Alex had never_ ** **_had_ ** **_a space of his own before. The notion that this was his space_ ** — **_that he didn’t have to share it with anyone_ ** **_—_ ** **_left Alex with mixed emotions. He had tried to shed his sorrow when arriving in America, but the grief was triggered by the most innocent circumstances._ **

**_“It sure is, my boy.” A hand rested on his shoulder, holding Alex in place. “I expect you’ll earn your keep soon enough.” Alex gave him a confused smile_** **_. T_ ** **_he chilling grin he got in return left him uneasy._ **

  
“My foster father, Christopher, he—” Alex paused, trying suppress the tremor that rippled his body as the name dripped off his tongue, “really liked it when I did well in school.”

 **_Alex had been through a lot in the last year_ ** **_. T_** ** _here was no question about that. His eyes were haunted. The ghosts of his past seemed to hover around him daily, but that all faded away when he wrote._ **

**_His English assignment had just been returned he made an A. Not just an A though_** — ** _an A+ The most satisfying part was the teacher’s disgruntled face as she complained about the class’s lack of motivation regarding the project._ **

**_  
_ ** **_She handed them back_** ** _,_ ** **_glaring at the students who purposefully put no effort into their work. Stepping to Alex’s desk, she placed the paper face down in front of him. He looked up at her fearful of the disappointment_** ** _. H_** ** _e always did his best. This assignment was no different. She smiled at him, winked and continued her unhappy speech. He flipped the paper over, unable to hide the grin that stretched across his face._ **

**_He was now back at the Atkinson household, sitting on the couch reading ahead for the same class. The sound of the door unlocking caused Alex to turn, wondering if he was going to see Mrs. Atkinson again. She had been rarely present since he had initially been dropped off by Mr. Fairfax._ **

**_It seemed another day was going to pass without her making an appearance, for it was Mr. Atkinson_ ** — **_Christopher, his mind corrected. The man didn’t like it when he called him Mr. Atkinson. It didn’t make him angry, but the atmosphere in the room would take a grim turn._ **

**_“Hi, Christopher.” Alex’s tone was upbeat_ ** **_. H_** ** _e was still riding the high of this afternoon._ **

**_The man gave Alex a smile, placing his stack of folders down._ ** **_He made_ ** **_his way over to the teenager._ **

**_He sat next to Alex, which Alex found silly considering the size of the sofa_ ** **_,_ ** **_but_ ** **_he_ ** **_decided not to think anything of it. Christopher had been nothing but kind_ ** **_. H_ ** **_e was bit eccentric but everyone had their quirks. Alex couldn’t help but think his wife being absent so often had something to do with the man’s strangeness._ **

**_Christopher knocked his knees against Alex, he crooned in a  singsong voice, “I got a phone call today from a teacher who was very impressed with your writing skills.” He took the book from Alex’s hand, placing it on the coffee table, ignoring the boy’s irritated huff._ **

**_He leaned forward, getting into Alex’s face. The teenager leaned back, uncomfortable with the sudden intrusion into his personal space but halted his retreat at the irritated look he received. Christopher reached forward, caressing Alex’s face for a long moment before relaxing against the couch, throwing an arm around the edge for good measure._ **

**_“Keep up the good work_ ** **_,_ ** **_Alex.”_ **

**_Alex could feel distress begin to stir in his stomach._ **

Alex fought against the nausea that stirred in his gut, “He didn’t like it when the house got dirty.”

He closed his eyes, trying to ignore the memories that assaulted his mind, “My job was to make sure things stayed tidy.”

**_Alex didn’t understand the purpose of cleaning the house when Christopher had someone clean it once a week. It wasn’t even dirty. He ignored the burn of his muscles as he stretched to reach the top of the window, his shirt pulling up as he did._ **

**_It wasn’t all that bad. If this was the only thing he had to do on a regular basis to stay in the man’s good graces, Alex wasn’t going to argue. He scrubbed half_** **_-_ ** **_heartedly_ ** **_. H_ ** **_e really just wanted to go back to his room and finish the book he was reading. It wasn’t due until the end of the month but Alex liked to stay ahead._ **

**_A hand stroked his midsection, causing him to startle. He turned around frightened, eyes wide._ **

**_Christopher was smiling lecherously_** ** _._ ** **_“Careful_** ** _,_ ** **_Alex_** ** _. D_** ** _on’t give the neighbors an eyeful.”_ **

**_The man sauntered away, giving him a seedy look before disappearing down a hallway. Alex sank slowly to the floor_** **_, h_ ** **_is knees coming close to his chest. Where the man’s hand had touched felt stained, like he had been marked._ **

Alex bit his lip; the taste of copper filled his mouth. The new pain gave him something to focus on, as he tried to rearrange his thoughts. He didn’t want to let them know. He had to be careful. They would know it was his fault. The signs were all there. He had just been too stupid to see them. Pretending like everything was fine was the only way he could deal with it. Nobody would believe him. He was an immigrant living on the good graces of the American people. Even now...he didn’t want to chance it. It was in the past.

There was a bit of shuffling as Lafayette reached forward, grabbing a cold compress from George. Lafayette had made sure not to jostle the other teenager, just gently maneuvering his arm so he could press the chilled item to his hurt wrist.

 

Alex blinked his eyes open at the instant relief, his wrist had settled to a dull throb but the compress took the worst of the pain away. It also helped him clear his thoughts. This was going to be the worst part.

“I got in trouble at school—started a fight with some kid for saying the wrong thing.”

**_Alex couldn’t even remember why he had thrown the first punch, just that it felt right. As he sat waiting for Christopher to come pick him up, the pride slowly turned to dread. He had been avoiding the house as much as he could. Staying late for study sessions, coming home with barely enough time to say hello before heading to bed. Heading to the library during the weekend and repeating the process all over again. He had been doing this for about two weeks. He could see the fire behind Christopher’s eyes grow more heated every time he slinked by._ **

**_  
_ ** **_Now, he was suspended. Three days. There was no escaping now_ ** **_. T_** ** _here were no more excuses. He was going to be trapped in the house with him for three whole days._ **

His voice flat, “It was my fault in the end.”

**_When they had initially made it home, Christopher walked him in. He gave him a familiar smile, his eyes resting on the light bruise on Alex’s cheek._ **

**_“I’ve gotta return to work, Alex. Don’t cause any more trouble.” He took a step forward, grasping for Alex’s face. The teenager stood stock still, frozen to the spot. Wincing when the man pushed down on the bruise. Christopher smiled at the boy’s pain._**

**_“I’ll see you soon.”_ **

**_Alex had somehow managed to avoid the man for two days. Or Christopher was purposefully ignoring him. Alex contemplated the options before deciding it was his own skills of deception that had allowed him to haunt the house like a ghost without piercing eyes following his every move._ **

**_The success made him cocky_** **_. H_ ** **_e left his room to grab the book he had left on the coffee table. He saw a note addressed to him, reminding him that his chores needed to be done._ **

**_Alex was panicked_** **_. H_ ** **_e glanced at the clock. He had two hours before Christopher was due home. That was plenty of time. He ran through the routine quickly, dusting, vacuuming, cleaning the dishes. He glanced frantically at the clock, deflating when he realized he still had an hour to do the windows. Plenty of time._ **

“He decided I hadn’t really learned my lesson. Staying home for three days wasn’t really a punishment after all.”

The hand that had been rubbing soothing circles on his back stopped, Lafayette pulled him closer, trying to keep him safe from the past.

**_Alex was once again trying to swipe at the top of the window, cursing his shortness. At least the sun wasn’t shining in his eye. The one good thing about daylight savings was that it was pitch black outside by seven o’ clock._ **

**_He didn’t hear the turn of locks, or the opening of the door. He did realize something was wrong when the lights went out._ **

**_He spun towards the kitchen_ ** **_, e_** ** _yes frantically searching the darkened room for the monster that was lurking in the shadows._ **

**_Alex had known this moment was coming. He had finally acknowledged the perverseness of this man. His fear of Christopher outweighed the fear of being sent back to the Christopher. Right now, he wished he was back on the islands._ **

Alex tried to decide where he should stop. This was the first time he had spoken about Christopher to anyone. He chanced a look at George and Martha. They were sitting across from him and Lafayette, listening avidly. George looked angry, but Alex could tell it wasn’t directed at him. George… he was good. He hadn’t tried anything, had never given Alex a look that made his skin crawl.

Martha’s eyes were shining but no tears fell down her face. She looked angry too. It suddenly occurred to Alex that these people would try to protect him. They had already proven that when they had patched him up when he fell without a word of anger.   

His plan to twist the ending, hide his weakness, came crashing down. He didn’t want to handle it alone anymore. If anyone could do something about Christopher Atkinson it would be the Washingtons. A feeling of peace washed over his body. He would put it in their hands. Martha said he was haunted, and that was true. Sharing his demons just might make them bearable.   

 **_He_ ** **_was_ ** **_slammed against the window. Head bouncing lightly off the glass, distantly he_ ** **_thought_ ** **_about how he’ll have to wipe it down again. A hand reaches under his shirt, nails trailing across his frame_** ** _leaving raised skin in their wake._ **

**_“You’ve been trying to hide from me, Alex. After all I do for you, the least I deserve is a little compensation for the trouble you’ve caused me.” The man scratche_** ** _d_ ** **_harshly at Alex’s stomach, causing him to gasp in pain. “You do like living here, don’t you? You wouldn’t want to go back to CPS.”_ **

**No** ** _. The thought echoe_** ** _d_ ** **_through his mind. This home. This life. It wasn’t worth it. He could find another way. He didn’t want this. He_ ** **_could_ ** **_fight it. He’_** ** _d_ ** **_fought through so much._ **

**_A hand grab_ ** **_bed_ ** **_at hair, intent to bring him close for a kiss. Alex d_** ** _idn_** ** _’t think anymore;_** ** _he just let his body react. It_ ** **_was_ ** **_in survival mode now. He ram_ ** **_med_ ** **_his head forward, hitting Christopher hard in the face. The crunch of a broken nose_ ** **_was_ ** **_worth the way his face_ ** **_was_ ** **_slammed into the glass._ **

**_Things_ ** **_were_ ** **_a blur from there_** ** _. H_** ** _e fou_** ** _ght_** ** _. Oh_** ** _,_ ** **_he_ ** **_fought_ ** **_fucking hard. He land_** ** _ed_ ** **_a few punches_** ** _. S_** ** _ome kicks hit their mark. But it wasn’t enough. Alex_ ** **_was_ ** **_small. He_ ** **_was_ ** **_scrappy, but he_ ** **_was_ ** **_small._ **

“He _punished_ me.” Alex spat the word, ashamed that he was unable to work up the courage to say what really happened. “It landed me in the hospital for a couple days. Fairfax came and got me. Atkinson told him that I had gotten into a fight with some of the kids at school and had gone looking for trouble when he and his wife were at work. Nevermind the fact that I only saw his wife a handful of times.”

The silence in the room was heavy. George cleared his throat, gaining everyone’s attention. “Alexander,” George said his name with a hint of pride under the barely controlled anger, “thank you for telling us. It was very brave.”

Alex could feel shame curl uneasily in his stomach. He wasn’t really brave.

George ran a hand over his head, calming himself to take control of the situation. “Can I say it’s safe to assume that a similar situation happened with the Chaters?”  

Alex hesitated for a moment before nodding his head. Mr. Chater would beat the shit out of any kid who crossed him. He had never seen any signs of…of the other thing.

The older man nodded. “I have some phone calls to make. I’m going to take care of this Alexander. Don’t worry.” With that he shot Martha a quick look before leaving the room.

She walked over to the teens. “George is right. You’re very brave for sharing it with us.”

She motioned for Alex to show her his wrist. She eyed it for a moment before wrapping it in an ace bandage.

She paused for a second, her voice taking a solemn tone. “I’m so sorry this happened to you. You didn’t deserve it. We’re going to do whatever it takes to make it right.” She clipped the end neatly, turning towards Alex’s face and tucking a strand of hair behind his ear before beginning to follow George’s path out of the room. She paused at the entrance to the hallway.  “You boys get some sleep. I’m sure you need it.” She gave them a considering look before addressing Alex. “If you feel like staying home again, Alex, that’s fine too.We’ll talk in the morning once you’ve gotten some rest.” She continued on her way, disappearing down the hallway.

The two boys sit in silence, one lost in thought while the other began to drift off, the stress of the day finally catching up to him.

Lafayette breaks the quiet. “It was brave, _mon petit lion._ Do not doubt that for a second.” He pulled Alex close. “But you are wrong about one thing.”

Alex settled on Lafayette’s chest, his head resting on the bigger teen’s shoulder. He was exhausted.

“What’s that?” he mumbles, against the other boy’s neck.

“You’re here with us now. We can make sure there is a happy ending to this story.” Lafayette’s tone was sincere, but Alex had already fallen asleep.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So that all happened. 
> 
> Check out amazing artwork from the last chapter [here](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fanart) SERIOUSLY. HAMILSQUAD. LAMS. ALEX . SO MUCH GOOD ART FROM THE FIC. GO SEND THE ARTISTS LOVE. THEY DESERVE IT
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/) We can cry together because this one was a doozie.


	7. Seven

The next morning arrived with little fanfare. Alex had surprisingly slept through the night, a feat that was astonishing on its own. He had relayed the events he had so longed to bury and forget about. It felt like he should be reprimanded in some way; the calm in his chest couldn’t be real. He may have kept a few parts of the story to himself, but the fact that someone knew. The fact that they knew and had believed him without a second thought…

He had decided to go to school. The lack of assignments was starting to make him itch. He wanted the normalcy. School would help everyone settle back into a routine. He needed a routine. Alex felt like he was floating.

When he and Lafayette managed to untangle themselves from the couch, the French teen had kissed his cheek before sprinting off to his room to get ready. Alex was a bit slower. Sitting up wasn’t painful but his wrist and his arm throbbed respectively.

Alex had decided to attempt a shower. He managed to shrug out of the clothes; it was a careful process as he tried not to jostle his injuries. Alex almost changed his mind about bathing when he realized he would have to take off the oversized sweater that Lafayette had stuffed him in the day before. Something about wearing the sweater helped calm his frantic thoughts, it was like being wrapped up in a tangible form of Lafayette’s affection. When he managed to tug himself free of the clothing, he carefully folded the piece, placing it on the counter to wear again. He was sure Lafayette wouldn’t mind if he kept it for a little while.

Bathing was treacherous. Alex had unwound the bandage that Martha had wrapped around his wrist. It looked like the kind that would get ruined if it was wet. He knew she wouldn’t be angry, but he still didn’t want to cause any unnecessary trouble. The dressings that George had covered his other arm with seemed like they shouldn’t be messed with so he left them alone. Alex had a feeling that they would have to be changed soon.

In the fluorescent light of his bathroom, his wrist looked worse than he thought it would. There were bruises darkening the skin, and the limb was still a bit swollen. Alex bit his lip, testing the intensity of the pain, trying to bend his hand forward. His pain-filled gasp was drowned out by the sound of the shower. He sat on the edge of the bathtub, catching his breath. He was going to have to be extra careful to not bend his wrist, and to keep the bandages from getting soaked through. He eyed the shower curtain dubiously, watching the steam rise with a frown. At the very least, the next few minutes were going to be interesting.

0-0-0-0-0

By the time Alex redressed himself in clean clothes and Lafayette’s sweater, he was reconsidering his plans to go to school. Before he could contemplate pulling his blankets to the floor and hiding from the world for a little longer, there was a sharp knock at his door.

He hesitated for a moment before steeling his resolve. “Yes?”

“Alexander.” The voice was slightly muffled, but George’s baritone was easily distinguishable through the door. “I need to check on your bandages.”

Alex could feel his heart skip a beat. George would be in his bedroom. Alone with him. The panic started to simmer. He urgently tried to squash it down. George wasn’t going to do anything to him. Alex knew this; he was just having a hard time convincing his body.

A moment of silence passed with Alex standing rooted to the spot.

“Alexander?” The tone of the older man’s voice held a hint of concern.

Alex took a deep breath. _Everything is fine. There is nothing to worry about. You can do this. Walk forward. Open the door. You can do this._

He forced himself forward, each step heavier than the last. He unlocked the door, taking a step back towards the bathroom.

George must have heard the lock as the door opened a few seconds later. The man was carrying a fresh set of bandages and placed them on the nightstand before turning his attention to Alex.

Alex relaxed as soon as he could see George. The man’s actual presence didn’t bother him. It was the disembodied male voice that had set him on edge.  

George gave Alex a look, beckoning the boy to sit on the bed.

The teenager did as he was told, hesitating momentarily before climbing on the bed and sitting with his legs crossed. His hair was wet, sticking to his neck uncomfortably. Alex was under no illusion that he would be able to get his hair back into a bun. Tugging the band out of his hair had been painful enough. Stretching, he could feel the dried blood pull from underneath his bandages.

George pulled a chair from beneath Alex’s desk, placing it in front of the boy and sitting down. “How are you feeling?”

Alex considered the question. He didn’t feel great. His body still throbbed from the impact his tumbled down the stairs had caused. At the same time, he felt more settled than he had in a long time.

“Alexander?” George’s worried tone broke through his thoughts, “Is the pain bad? Are you having trouble focusing?”

Alex looked towards George, making eye contact and shaking his head. “No, I’m okay. Sorry.”

George gave him a critical look. “Maybe you should stay home today? If you’re still tired it would be better for you to rest. Martha left for work this morning but she’ll be back by one to keep you company if you’d like. School will still be there for you if you wanted to take the rest of the week to settle in.” George frowned, pushing up the boy’s sleeves. Reaching towards the arm with the wet bandages, carefully removing them and checking the wounds.

Alex did his best not to flinch at the pull of skin.

“Martha and I should have given you this option when you first arrived. I apologize for our oversight.” He gave Alex a depreciating smile. “We’re still new to this.”

A beat of silence.  Alex’s voice, soft but sure, whispered, “I think I’d like to go to school.”

George gave him a small nod as he smoothed the new bandages over his scrapes. They were still too raw to be be left uncovered. He moved his attention to the boy’s wrist.

The man hummed unhappily at the sight of the swelling and bruises. “Are you able to bend it?”

Alex shook his head. “I tried when I was taking a shower.” He paused, debating whether or not to tell George about the awful pain that had accompanied the experiment.

The older man’s lip quirked in a half smile. “It burned like hellfire, didn’t it?”

Alex’s eyes widened. Before he could stop himself, a laugh had made its way out. The echoing chuckles of George lifting the heaviness on the room.

“What is so funny?” An amused voice joined the room. Lafayette was leaning against the doorjamb, looking put out by their laughter.

George gave Alex a wink before turning to the pouting French teen. “What do you kids say these days?” He paused for a second before snapping his fingers. “You had to be there.”

Lafayette rolled his eyes good-naturedly, bouncing into the room and hopping on the bed beside Alex.

George grabbed one of the bandages that was left on the nightstand. It didn’t look like the others. Seeing Alex’s questioning gaze, George gave him a sad smile.

  
“I had a feeling your wrist would be worse today.” He held out his hand, silently asking Alex for the swollen limb. “This is a splint. It should hold up better than the Ace bandage Martha wrapped around your wrist yesterday.” He unstrapped a few parts of the splint before carefully sliding it on.

“Keep it in there till you get home, then we’ll ice it again. It’ll take some time but it’ll heal.”

George stood, moving the chair back to its rightful place and glancing at his watch. “You boys have about half an hour before you need to leave.” He paused at the doorway, looking at the two teenagers sternly.

Giving Alex a pointed look, he demanded, “Make sure that you eat breakfast before you leave.” He took a step outside the door, before Alex spoke up.

“George?” Alex was fiddling with the splint absentmindedly, unused to the more restrictive holding. He turned his attention to George. The man was looking at him kindly, his eyes questioning.

“I...” He could feel himself becoming flustered, the words getting stuck in his throat. Lafayette offered silent comfort by tugging on a strand of his wet hair. Encouraged, he swallowed the nervousness. “I think you and Martha are doing okay.”

Comprehension dawned on George’s face. “We have to do better than okay, son.” He gave Alex a soft smile. “You’re worth more than just ‘okay.’” With that, George left the room.

Alex sat there in a daze. So many things had changed lately. For the first time in a long time, he could feel himself start to hope for things to be better.

A tug on his hair had Alex turning his attention to Lafayette, who was grinning widely. “I think it is time we do something with this mane of yours, _mon petit lion._ How are you going to impress John Laurens if your hair is dripping and sad?”

Alex gave the other boy an indignant look, ignoring the redness of his face. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

The French teen snorted. “Of course you don’t.”

Alex crossed his arms. “I don’t.”

Lafayette gave him a long look. “You do know it’s okay if you like our dear Laurens, _oui?”_

Alex rolled his eyes. “Of course I know it’s okay. With the way you argued with Hercules yesterday it would be hypocritical if it wasn’t okay.” Alex knew he was pouting, but he couldn’t help it.

Lafayette let out an indignant squawk. “What do you mean, ‘hypocritical?’”

Alex huffed out a laugh. “You argue like an old married couple.” A thought flashed through his mind. He snorted. “And you seem to have both adopted me as your child.”

“ _Non_ !” Lafayette said passionately. “ You are speaking _absurdité._ Absolute nonsense, _mon ami.”_

Alex pulls away, laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation. “You totally do. You calm me down when I’m upset. Hercules was forcing me to eat yesterday. Admit it: you’ve adopted me.”

Lafayette raised his nose in the air. “I will admit no such thing.”

Alex was still laughing when Lafayette decided to manhandle him and rearrange their positions on the bed. By the time Lafayette was comfortable, his back was against the headboard and Alex was leaning on his chest.  

Alex grumbled half-heartedly. “Despite what you might think, I’m not a doll, Laf. You can’t just move me around however you want.”

The French teen hummed, running a hand through Alex’s hair. “You didn’t have any problems when I was picking clothes out for you, _mon cher._ You are still wearing my sweater, _oui?_ ”

Alex relaxed to Lafayette’s ministrations. “Yeah, but that doesn’t mean anything, Laf. It’s warm.”

Lafayette let out a huff of laughter as he divided Alex’s hair into three even part., “Oh, is that right?” He began folding the parts of hair, braiding them together expertly.

“That’s exactly right.” Alex replied easily. His eyes were closed. His hair hadn’t been braided since his mother got sick. Alex had forgotten how nice it felt.

“What about all the clothes that I picked out for you this weekend. None of them are warm?” Lafayette’s tone was teasing, his laughter barely contained.

Alex tried to shake his head, only to be reprimanded by a sharp tug on hair.

“Use your words, _mon petit lion_ _._ You will mess up my masterpiece before it is complete.”

Alex sighed. “I don’t know if they’re warm or not, Laf. I’ve never worn them.” He opened his eyes, looking down at the sleeves that covered his hands. He felt safe in this sweater. It was like an extension of the affection that Lafayette continually showered on him.

Lafayette finished off the braid, tying the end with the hairband he had wrapped around his wrist. “What would you like to tell Herc and Laurens, _mon cher_? They are bound to notice this.” He ran a gentle finger across Alex’s splint.

Alex shrugged. “I fell down the stairs. If they ask we can tell them the truth.” His heart skipped a beat. “We don’t have to tell them the other stuff. Do we?”

Lafayette was quick to reassure him. “Of course not, little Alex. You tell them what you wish and nothing more, _oui?”_ He ran a soothing down Alex’s back, reminiscent of last night.

Alex took a deep breath. “Yeah, okay.”

Lafayette patted the top of his head affectionately. “You would be surprised by their understanding if you gave them the trust, _mon ami._ Our friends have also been through _tragédie._ ”

Alex sat quietly for a moment, trying to work out what Lafayette meant. Before he could ask, the French teen pushed Alex forward, prompting him to get off the bed.

“Get up, _mon cher_ _._ We have a day to begin.”

0-0-0-0-0-0

“Yo, Alex. Catch.”

Alex looked up quickly, snatching the flying item out of the air. Alex bit back a sigh, as he looked down at the granola bar. Lafayette had literally done the same when they had left for school. The fact that the item was crumbling in the wrapper at the bottom of his bookbag probably didn’t help his case.

Lafayette glanced over and huffed when he realized what Hercules had thrown. “Hercules, you are not his _père._ You do not have to feed him.” Lafayette crossed his arms over his chest, refusing to look at Alex.

Alex bit back a snort, this morning’s conversation coming to the front of his mind as Hercules’ rested his hands on his hips, berating Lafayette for not looking out for his wellbeing. Hercules and John had been waiting in front of the school, seemingly determined not to go in until the last minute.

Alex had no such qualms. He could feel the cold start to seep through the layers of clothing. He yearned to go inside the building but apparently all those who lived in Virginia were immune to the cold. The scattered students who stood outside talking to one another comfortably proved Alex’s theory more that Virginians didn’t have the ability to feel the cold.

His fingers were just beginning to reach a state of numbness when he was jostled lightly on the arm. He swallowed the hiss of pain but couldn’t stop his eyes from closing as his bandages were disturbed.

“Oh shit. Sorry, I didn’t mean to bump you so hard. You okay?” a frantic voice whispered lowly in his ear. John was hunched over Alex’s shorter frame, trying to see where he had hurt the smaller boy.

The heat from Alex’s arm faded and flew to his face when he realized John’s proximity. “I’m sorry. I’m fine.”

“You’re sorry?” John took a small step back, giving Alex a confused smile. “I’m the one who bumped into you. I should be the one apologizing.”

Alex gave him a small smile. “No, it’s okay. Don’t worry about it.”

John seemed to sag in relief. He gestured at Hercules and Lafayette. “They seemed to have adopted you as their love child.” He gave Alex a mischievous grin. “I wouldn’t want to hurt their baby.”

Alex snorted. “I was accusing Laf of the same thing this morning.”

John echoed Alex’s laughter, smiling fondly at the smaller teen. “Honestly, I’ve never seen them act this way before. You already got them wrapped around your finger.”

Alex could feel his ears warm. He picked at the sleeves of his sweater. The clothing was so long that it reached past the sleeves of his coat. “I don’t think that’s the case.”

“Hey.” Alex looked up; John was giving him a warm smile, a light blush coloring his freckled cheeks. “It’s not a bad thing. You got me wrapped around your finger too.”

John seemed to realize the weight of his confession because he cleared his throat awkwardly, taking another step out of Alex’s personal space.

“I—Uh” he gave Alex a sheepish look, rubbing the back of his neck. “Your hair looks nice.”

Alex gave the taller boy a shy smile. “Thanks.”

“ _Oui,_ doesn’t it look great, John? I worked very hard on it this morning.” Lafayette’s voice broke the illusion of privacy that had fallen over them.

“You did a great job, Laf,” John said dutifully, throwing a mocking wink Alex’s way.

Alex hid his smile behind a cough. The cold was piercing, making his throat dry. When he looked up, the other three boys were staring with various expressions of concern.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Guys, I’m fine. You don’t have to treat me like a baby. I promise.”

Lafayette frowned, stepping closer. He grabbed Alex’s chin and tilted his head upwards. “You did not sound sick when we left, _mon cher._ ” He pressed his other hand against Alex’s forehead.

Alex let out a huff of irritation, swatting at the French teen’s hands whilst ignoring the ridiculousness of his sleeves. “Stop, Laf. I’m fine.”

Hercules entered the mix. “I don’t know, man. If you’re feeling sick.” His eyes narrowed as Alex continued to ineffectively swat at Lafayette. “Hey, Alex, where’d you get that sweater?” His tone was casual but his voice held a strange edge.  

Alex lowered his arms, looking at Hercules confused. “Lafayette gave it to me last night after…” He trailed off and gave Lafayette a beseeching look.

The French teenager sighed disparagingly and released the smaller teen.

Alex wasn’t even ashamed at being blatantly obvious as he took a step towards John, trying to stay out of Lafayette’s reach.

Hercules gave Alex a look of worry before turning his attention to Lafayette. The French teen had regained his composure since checking Alex over and was now standing in a familiar pose that meant he and Hercules were about to bicker.

“I knew you took my sweater, Laf.” Hercules had one hand on his hip, his tone full of disbelief. “After all that yammering about not stealing it, the evidence is right _there_.” Hercules gestured wildly towards Alex who was trying not to laugh.

Looking at Hercules and Lafayette, it was easy to be fooled into thinking that Lafayette was the dramatic one of the pair. The truth was Hercules gave as good as he got.

Lafayette’s tone was aloof, as he rolled his eyes in response. “I do not understand why you are upset. You should be glad I decided it was good enough to wear.”

Hercules let out a chortle of laughter, “Yeah okay, French Fry. You keep tellin’ yourself that.We know who's the best dressed in this squad.”

Alex giggled and chanced a look at John.

The freckled teenager was biting his lip. His eyes were dancing with laughter.  He caught Alex’s eye, whispering, “I think Laf actually took that from my house. I may or may not have been the original thief.”

Alex snorted. That sounds about right.

Lafayette’s hands were now on his hips. He pretended to mess with his hair, ignoring Hercules’ angry stare. “Well, seeing as how I took it from our John Laurens I don’t see why you should be upset with _moi, mon ami.”_ Lafayette’s tone was bored, but it was easy to see the teen was fighting a smile when Hercules spun to face John.

“You!”

John plastered an innocent expression across his face. “I don’t know wh—”

Hercules cut him off. “Don’t even play with me, Laurens. I see through your deceit.”

Alex shook his head at his friends’ antics, sighing as he shrugged off his bag and coat. A shiver wracked through his body as the cold air touched his skin. He bit his lip, trying not to let the pain of the movement show on his face. Lafayette had helped him put his coat on this morning—something that Alex had complained about at the time but he wished the help would come again. Lafayette had been able to slide it on without rubbing his bandages or bumping his hurt wrist; the French teen had a magical way of soothing Alex’s hurts.

Alex began to tug the sweater off, intent on returning it to Hercules. Maybe if this was sorted, they could finally go inside where there was heat. The oversized sleeves finally made sense; Herc’s sweater would be oversized on someone like Alex. Especially if it had been worn by all three of his friends periodically; it was no surprise that it drowned him.

He was down to his t-shirt—an old one he had brought with him to the Washington’s home. He had wanted comfort, and the shirt was familiar, if a little old and faded. With only the thin layer of material protecting him from the cold, Alex was unsurprised at the gooseflesh that broke out across his skin. Shivers began to wrack his body; his teeth chattered, loud enough to garner the attention of Lafayette.

“ _Mon petit lion!_ What did you do. You are going to be catching your _trépas.”_ His tone was scolding. “Do you want to get sick, _mon cher_?”

Alex gave him an incredulous look. “Of course I don’t want to get sick. I just thought—”

“Alex, what the hell man? Put the damn sweater back on. Just because I’m yellin’ at these assholes doesn’t mean you need to freeze to death.”

Hercules walked over to the shivering boy, grabbing for the sweater.

“I have no problem if you _ask_ to borrow my things” He gave a pointed look to the other two teens who were completely unashamed. “But—”

“Oh my god, Alex what happened?” John took a step closer. The trio was now blocking the view of any nosy students who lingered. The freckled teen ran a gentle hand across his arm, leaving the spot much warmer than it had been.

“I fell.” Alex gave Lafayette a pleading look.

The French teen nodded slightly. “Little Alex had a mishap with the staircase last night when we arrived home.” Lafayette’s voice was confident.

Alex supposed that was the truth—the loose truth—but the truth nonetheless.

Hercules turned an eye on Lafayette. “See. You fuss at me for being his dad but you couldn’t keep him from hurting himself for one night.”

Lafayette let out an insulted squawk. “ _Excuse-moi_ _._ _”_

John stepped in before the two could go at it again, pulling the sweater from Hercules’ grip. Eyes focused on Alex, he spoke gently, “You _are_ okay though, right?” He gingerly tugged the clothing back over Alex’s head, helping him into the oversized arm holes.

The warmth was welcome on Alex’s freezing body. His cheeks warmed for what felt like the hundredth time that morning, “Yeah, just a sprain and a few cuts.”

“A sprain! Lafayette—” Hercules was cut off by the bell, signaling class was about to start in five minutes.

Hercules looked back at Alex who was being helped back into his coat by John. “Don’t think we aren’t going to talk about this, Alex. You need to be more careful.”

Alex rolled his eyes. “Okay, dad.” He gave John a conspiring look. “Between the two of them I don’t know how I’m gonna get away with anything.”

John gave him a smile. “I’m sure, between the two of us, we’ll get away with a lot.”

Alex’s stomach flopped; his eyes widened.

Lafayette giggled. “John, that was quite the line. Did you hear him, Herc? You must give him a talk about his intentions towards little Alexander.”

Hercules grinned in response,“Yeah, John. What _are_ your intentions?”

John sputtered. “That is not what I meant—” He turned desperate eyes to Alex.

The late bell rung, causing the boys to shuffle quickly inside. Alex was glad, he wasn’t sure what he would have said anyway.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

It turned out the class he had missed his first day was English, and even luckier besides that was John being in the class with him. When he had asked if anybody knew where the room was, John had smiled widely, the awkwardness of before totally forgotten with the excitement of leading Alex to the classroom.

John helped Alex out of his coat then pushed him into a seat. John slid into the seat next to him, leaning close so Alex could hear over all the other chatter. “You’ll like the teacher, Alex. She’s really nice.” His voice was soft but it was easy to see he was holding in his energy to keep their conversation seemingly private

Alex gave John a small smile, reaching down and pulling out a notebook and a pen. The freckled teen continued to ramble as the class began to fill. He and John had leaned in, foreheads almost touching as they listened to one another speak over the chaos of the classroom.

A figure materialized, pausing in front of their table. His sudden appearance cut off John’s chatter. Alex looked up and felt his blood freeze. It was Lee.

“Seems like somebody went ahead and taught you a lesson.” He made a gesture towards Alex’s wrist. The black splint was poking out where his sleeve had accidentally been pushed up.

Alex yanked it down, glaring at Lee with unconcealed hatred.

“You got a problem, Lee?” John was glaring at the other teenager, tense and ready to spring forward.

The kind boy that Alex had gotten to know over the past few days had disappeared; what was left in his wake was frightening. Alex wanted to move away, but with Lee standing so close on the other side… He took a deep breath and stayed where he was. John didn’t look angry at him. John looked angry at Lee. It would be okay. Everything was going to be fine.

“As a matter of fact,” Lee’s voice seemed to grow as he realized the entire room had gone silent, “I wanted to tell you to pass along a message to dear Lafayette.”

John raised an eyebrow, responding cooly. “Oh?”

Lee ignored John’s retort. “George didn’t appreciate Monday’s performance in the lunchroom. In fact,” he paused dramatically, keenly aware of his own audience, “he was quite angry. He doesn’t like it when his friends are berated by the very...” Lee trailed off, giving Alex a once over, “trash he wishes to be cleaned up.”

A few whispers broke out; the room was heavy with tension. Alex could feel the stress of the situation get to him. His leg started to move restlessly under the table. He hated when he got like this; he felt like Thumper from one of the movies that Herc had made them watch yesterday. His nerves were still flayed open. He hadn’t been able to rebuild the fortress around his mind. The defense mechanism of silence was still in tatters.

Alex’s voice was scathing. “Your friend didn’t seem that upset when trash like me punched you in the face.” His tone took on a note of false concern. “How’s the eye feeling?”

The murmuring of the class got louder as Lee's face grew outraged from Alex's taunt. He took a threatening step towards Alex, intent clear in his eyes.

John stood, his chair flying back. “Should I punch you again to see if _my_ message will be delivered?” He took a step towards Lee, blocking the boy from getting closer to Alex. “Believe me—I won’t be as nice as Alex.”

Alex’s eyes widened. John was defending _him_.

The loud sound of a throat being cleared broke through the tension. All eyes turned to the front of the room, where a petite lady was standing with a smile. “Is there a problem gentlemen?”

Lee seemed to melt into another creature as he met the teacher’s expectant gaze. “Of course not, Mrs. Manning. Just discussing our opinions on this week's poetry assignment.” He gave her a smile and walked to the back of the classroom and took his seat.

She gave John a look and he sat down with a sheepish grin. That’s when she noticed Alex.

“Mr. Hamilton, it’s nice of you to join us. I won’t make you introduce yourself to the class.” She gave him a wry look. “It seems they know who you are.”

Alex blushed. He could feel the heat of his classmates’ stares.

Mrs. Manning turned her attention to the board. “Okay, our next unit is going to be about identity. Who are you? What makes you the person you are? We’re going to be focusing on these questions…”

Alex let her voice wash over him, the events from this morning catching up to him. A gentle tapping on his arm got his attention.

John was giving him a worried look. “You okay? That was a lot to deal with on your second day.” He leaned in closely, his voice barely audible over Mrs. Manning.

Alex nodded. “Yeah, I’m okay.” He gave John a shy smile. “Thanks for coming to my rescue. I don’t think I could have landed a memorable punch today.”

John smiled. “No worries. I would have hit him hard enough for both of us.” His smile faded. “Did I…” He pulled on a loose curl, distracting Alex from the worry on his face.

“I get hot real fast. Most of the time I swing first and ask questions later. Especially with that idiot and his friends.” John’s voice had a hard edge to it.

Alex let out a small laugh, carefully keeping an eye on the teacher. He didn’t want to be kicked out on his first day.

“Don’t worry about it, John.” John made a discontented noise.

Alex ignored him and continued. “I punched Lee the first time I met him. You just got a little…” He searched for a kind comparison but couldn’t find a flattering one. “Okay, honestly you went a little guard dog.”

John made a quiet sound of despair, burying his head in his arms. “I’m sorry, Alex. I totally get if you don’t want to sit with me, or just want to hang out with Lafayette and Herc.” He mumbled the words into the crook of his arm.

“No, hey. It’s fine. It’s okay. You scared me,” Alex admitted, pulling lightly at a loose curl on John’s head, “but you weren’t angry with me.”

John lifted his head, giving Alex an imploring look. “I’m sorry.”

Alex rolled his eyes. He was fine now. The panic that had began to thrum in his veins had slowed. He just needed John to stop looking so sad and they could move on. The best way to do that would be a distraction. An idea suddenly entered his mind. He pulled on the curl he still had hostage, gaining the freckle-faced boy’s attention before releasing the piece.

“Okay. Two things. You can give me that.” He pointed to the opened page in John’s notebook; it was an older piece (the date read last Tuesday), and there were hardly any notes on it. The sheet of paper was covered with cartoon doodles of animals, mostly turtles. It was so utterly John Laurens that Alex couldn’t bare to see it covered in actual notes.

John sighed, his lip quirking at Alex in amusement. He began to carefully tear out the page. “You know,” he said teasingly, “if you wanted a drawing, all you have to do is ask.” He handed the piece over to Alex.

The smaller boy ignored the blush that had risen to his face. “The second thing, you can tell me why Lee and his cronies are after Laf with such force.”

John, who had looked relieved that Alex had thought of something, scowled when he realized Alex’s question.

Alex needed to know, he continued talking when John remained quiet. “Laf said it was because he loved and dressed the way he wanted.”

John hummed quietly in agreement, raising his head from his arms. “That’s basically it. They hate Laf and the rest of us because we’re out and proud.” He gave Alex a quick look, searching for a reaction. Not finding anything but curiosity for the answer, he continued. “They hate Laf especially because he is flamboyantly himself. He doesn’t give a fuck about what anyone thinks. They _hate_ that.”

Alex nodded, Lafayette was definitely unique. Lee, Seabury and whoever this George was seemed to be bigoted assholes.

“Alex?” John’s voice was small, almost timid. He moved so he wasn’t angled towards the shorter boy “Does it bother you? I figured you knew.”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes, missing the other boy’s nervousness. “Of course it bothers me. ” He gave John a confused look.“I mean, I figured that’s what the problem was. I just wanted to be sure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So no bad feels this chapter. Are you guys okay? Is the lack of sadness shocking? Don't worry. Shit will be going down next week, I felt like we needed to #takeabreak from all the hurt. Poor Alex needed a breather. 
> 
> Let me know what you think! Leave a comment and come talk to me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/ask)
> 
> Go check out all the [art](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fanart) inspired by this fic. A lovely lovely loooovely piece was done with the entirety of Alex running away. Truly lovely and INSANE. If you missed the angst this chapter go look at Alex's face in Ollie's piece. SO SAD.


	8. Eight

“Oh my god,” a voice whispered in frustration.

Alex jumped, the intrusion on their seemingly private conversation startling him.

John let out a sigh, turning slightly in his seat. “Something bothering you, Miss Schuyler?” His tone was teasing but there was an undercurrent of frustration.

Alex turned, following John’s lead. At the table behind them, a pretty girl was sitting with her eyes narrowed. Alex felt himself swallow; he didn’t like the intensity of her glare. It was hot and angry. He looked down at his lap and began to fiddle with his splint, hoping that John could make her stop.

“Look.”

Alex lifted his head.

Eliza continued to speak to John gaze with amusement coloring her voice. “I’m sure you would love to angst about how you think Rapunzel over here doesn’t like you, but clearly that’s not what’s happening.”

She nodded towards Alex who could feel his brow pinching together in confusion. What was this girl talking about?

Alex gave John a confused look, “John?”

John saw his face and shook his head, “I have no idea, I—”

“Oh come off it, John.” She gave him a knowing grin.

John huffed in exasperation, “How do you even know what we’re talking about?”

“You may have been whispering and I may have been listening” She waved her hand as if swiping the question away.

She turned her attention to Alex who stopped fidgeting, staying very still in hopes that he could blend into the background and disappear. Despite her kind eyes, she had a searching look about her as she took in his appearance. Like she was trying to puzzle out his secrets. The glint in her eye left no doubt that she could accomplish this feat, immediately setting Alex on edge. There were some things he didn’t want anyone to know about.

His unease must have shown on his face, her teasing grin melted into a gentle smile. “Hello.” She stretched her arm over the side of the table, holding out her hand. “I’m Elizabeth Schuyler. You can call me Eliza.”

Alex returned the gesture hesitantly, shaking her hand despite the burning sensation that came with the movement.

John sent her a glare as she shook Alex’s hand, Eliza sent John a pleased smile.

Alex looked between the two for a second, bewildered. John’s behavior towards Eliza was out of character for the boy that he had gotten to know over the past few days.

The two teens broke apart before Alex remembered his manners, replying awkwardly with, “Alexander Hamilton.” He paused, sitting back in his seat warily. If John didn’t like Eliza for some reason, it would be a good idea to be cautious.

“So…” She trailed off, looking between the two. “You are both aware that you were having different conversations just now, don’t you?”

Both boys stared at her blankly. She rolled her eyes.  

“Typical.” She gestured between the two of them. “You guys were fine until the end there. John thinks you’re homophobic, Alexander.”

Hearing his full name from Eliza made Alex frown, “I go by Alex.” Her words registered and he turned a hurt look towards John, “What? Why would you think that?”

  
John looked uncomfortable, “I thought you—”

“Oh, don’t worry about him honey.” Eliza cut John off, speaking to Alex. “Boys are stupid, John happens to be one of the more intelligent ones so you’re lucky.”

John blushed, berating himself out loud. “Apparently not that intelligent.” His eyes apologetic, he turned to Alex. “I’m so sorry. When you said it bothered you I thought you were talking about—”

Alex blinked in realization, cutting off the freckled haired boy mid-sentence, “I’m sorry too,” He glanced at John who looked as if he was going to interrupt him. “Maybe we shouldn’t be having this kind of conversation in class.” Alex shot a look at Mrs. Manning who was still energetically lecturing at the front of the room.

“Yes, yes. Now we have that all sorted out. Now onto the important stuff,” Eliza’s voice was impatient as she glanced at the clock. “I don’t know why you and the others missed Tuesday’s meeting,” she threw a look towards Alex, staring at the obvious splint on his hand, “but I’m assuming it was important and you guys didn’t just forget. Again.”

John gave her a sheepish smile. “Yeah, we’ll be there after school.”

Eliza gave him a hard look, “You better. You know I can only hold Angelica off for so long before she loses her mind.” She turned her attention towards Alex. “You should come too; with the way you handled Lee and the mystery behind your sudden enrollment...” She trailed off, looking past Alex at something unseen, before shaking her head and continuing, “You are quite the story, Alexander Hamilton.”

Alex could feel his pulse jump at her words, and not in the warm way that John left him with. The familiar panic was stirring, the kind that would leave him breathless and exhausted. He turned to face forward, letting John and Eliza continue their conversation without him. This was not the time or the place to loose his grip.

He pinched his leg, trying to ground himself.

He bit his lip, trying to brace himself against the roaring in his ears.

His breath was coming out in stuttering, silent pants. None of it was working.

His mind was running a mile a minute, trying to decipher what Eliza had meant by him being “quite the story.” The look in her eye was familiar, it was the same look that followed him after the hurricane. Reporters flocking to the disaster site, begging survivors to tell their stories and becoming frustrated when the grief was too strong to get a word out. That would be the only reason she’d be interested in his story, because it would sell. It would be interesting. People would want to read it. Alex’s mind raced. His eyes skirted around the room, jumping from student to student. No one was looking at him, but Alex could feel their phantom stares.

He looked down at his desk, eyes wide and panicked. Thoughts were coming in short bursts of clarity. _They want to know. Everyone is watching._ There was no other reason that Eliza would want to know.  There was no other reason. None. He closed his eyes, trying to count and control his breathing. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois inspirer._

“Alex?” John’s concern broke through his panicked counting, causing him to open his eyes and stare at the other boy blankly.

John had turned around when he noticed Alex’s lack of participation in the conversation. He shot Eliza a reassuring look over his shoulder. She nodded, shooting Alex a look of concern before turning her attention to Mrs. Manning. She was willing to give them the illusion of privacy. Alex seemed like a nice enough kid. If John could help, she wasn’t going to interfere.

He could see John, hear him, but it was like his body was too tightly strung to do anything but stare. He shuddered as a cold sweat broke across his brow; Not even the warmth of the sweater could take away the bite of panic that had left him frantic, borderline shivering with anxiety.  

Alex’s eyes had unconsciously traveled back to the desk, forgetting about John’s presence as he tried to wade through the panic. He could feel the imaginary stares of the class looking at him. His mind knew that wasn’t really happening but he couldn’t convince his body not to react. Breathing was becoming more difficult. If he didn’t get a grip soon he would start gasping and the eyes of his classmates would be glued to him for a different reason.

A sheet of paper was slid onto his side of the table, a freckled hand pushing it into his field of vision. The sudden appearance of the white piece of paper on the black tabletop momentarily  distracted Alex from his panic. He followed the hand to the arm it was connected to, a shoulder, a neck, finally resting on the person’s face.

John was giving him a careful smile. “Have you ever heard of the _eretmochelys imbricata_?”

The unusual use of latin captured Alex’s attention. He gave John a confused look, unable to speak past the anxiety that had lodged itself in his throat.

John seemed to relax once he was sure Alex was watching him. His eyes were gentle before tapping the piece of paper with his pencil, causing the other Alex to look down. His breathing was still sharp but his eyes had lost their frantic edge.  

He began to lightly sketch, his pencil dragging rhythmically on the paper. The noise began lulling Alex away from his panic, his mind consumed by trying to decipher the lines that the other boy was creating.

Picking up his train of thought, John gave Alex a relieved smile. “I would have been surprised if you _had_ known.” He scribbled a few more lines, completing a basic outline of a turtle. “The translated name is this little guy right here.” He shaded one of the flippers. “A Hawksbill Sea Turtle.”  

The roaring in Alex’s ears was lessening as John continued to speak, his voice serving as anchor to the present.

“Hawksbills are special ‘cause of the patterns on their backs.” He tapped his pencil to the turtle's shell as he began to fill in the details. “They remind me of splashes of paint.” He demonstrated the pattern within the shell, revealing the beauty and uniqueness of the creature he continued to capture on paper.

Alex could feel the first full breath unfurl in his chest, cooling the heat that had began to leave him gasping. His muscles started to unclench. The feeling of impending doom was fading, his brain settling from the panic that Eliza had unintentionally sent him spiralling into.

The freckled teenager smiled as Alex relaxed in his seat, relieved that the shorter boy’s breathing had lost its desperate edge.

John began darkening the design on the animal's body. “You know…” he trailed off, filling in a particularly difficult spot of detail. “...my favorite part about this species of turtle is that they’re small and have to be wedged in between pieces of coral to sleep.”

John was silent for a moment, shadowing the last few spots. “They remind me of you actually.” He ducked his head, eyes focused on the turtle. “You’re both small,” he gave Alex an affectionate look, “and you both like to be cuddled to sleep.”

Alex rolled his eyes, his words coming back to him gradually.

“I don’t think being wedged between pieces of rock…”  His speech was slow, stunted as he rearranged his thoughts into an order that made sense. “...is the same thing as sitting next to someone on a couch and falling asleep.”

John didn’t seem to mind. He smiled indulgently, a light blush coloring his freckled cheeks. He watched as Alex lightly traced over the drawing with his finger, not quite touching for fear he would smudge the impeccable detail.

He stared longingly at the drawing. “It’s really pretty.” Alex’s voice was wistful. “It looks just like the ones at home.”

 **_“_ ** **_Mamá, look! There are so many.” His voice_ ** **_was_ ** **_full of awe as Alex and his mother watch_ ** **_ed_ ** **_the small hatchling turtles scurry to the water's edge._ **

**_It was one of her rare days off and she had been planning this surprise beach trip for weeks. Despite the ache in her bones and the exhaustion that weighed heav_ ** **_il_ ** **_y on her soul, seeing her boy smiling and happy was worth it. It was so rare to see him smile so freely_ ** **_; e_ ** **_ven at the age of twelve he seemed to think the weight of the world was on his shoulders._ **

“Home?” John’s questioning voice broke through his reverie, making Alex freeze as he suddenly remembered where they were.

John must have noticed his hesitancy because he kindly changed the subject by pushing the drawing the rest of the way over.

Alex gave him a questioning look.

John shrugged in response.“Keep it,” he said, gesturing to the drawing, giving Alex a sheepish smile. “An apology for earlier.”

“Thank you,” Alex replied sincerely, picking up the picture, and cradling it in his hands reverently. He liked the doodles he’d lifted from John’s possession earlier, but this was something made just for him. This was special.

“It’s nothing really,” Alex looked up towards John who was blushing and looking away. “It’s definitely not that good. If you want I can—” His nerves made him reach towards Alex, trying to retrieve the drawing.

Alex flinched, pushing himself into his seat and as far away from John as possible.

  
“Oh, shit.” John leaned away, sitting back into his seat and giving Alex his space. “I’m sorry, Alex. I didn’t mean to—”

Alex shook his head, to both reassure John and to clear the cobwebs of panic that had begun to resurface. He clutched the picture closer to his chest, protecting it from John’s gaze.

“You can’t take it back,” Alex said, voice soft, “It’s mine and that would be like stealing.” He gave John a wary smile.

John smiled back apologetically. “Of course. It’s yours. Forget I said anything.”

Alex nodded, placing the picture back on the desk, swallowing the residual fear.

  
He tried to give the freckled teen a teasing smile. “Don’t try and steal my stuff, John, Mom and Dad would get upset.”

John let out a huff of laughter, relaxing. “You’re right. Best not give them anything else to bicker about.”

The two boys shared a smile and turned back towards their lecturing teacher, content.

Alex snuck a look at John, flickering his gaze between the turtle and John’s face. Everything was going to be fine.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

George left the estate soon after the boys. He couldn’t help but feel that the progress that had been made regarding Alexander had been substantial. It had been a big step to share his history; George had been even more surprised when the boy had actually let him in the bedroom.

The way the boy had struggled to run when he had overheard their conversation. The panic had been clear in his eyes. George gripped the steering wheel tightly.  The look of terror was one he would not easily forget. His heart ached for the teen; Alexander had a good head on his shoulders but it seemed as if he had been dealt a difficult hand of cards.

When he and Martha had turned into bed that night, she’d confessed that she didn’t believe they had received the whole story. George was inclined to agree; the way Alexander spoke about the events that had taken place at the Atkinson home seemed stunted. One could argue that the trauma of the ordeal could have suppressed his emotions while recounting the tale, but George had an inkling that things had progressed more than the boy had stated.

He had called in favors—ones that he had held onto since he was elected. It was worth the trouble. Whatever happened to Alexander needed to be exposed.The fact that these families were still housing children was sickening. There was enough evidence to launch a formal investigation into the families, but George wanted to make sure there were no loopholes in the convictions. The snakes of the world have a way to slither out of the most straight-forward cases.

He had a full day of meetings concerning a new bill, but he was certain that his connections would contact him before the day’s end. Getting the background on these families who were supposed to care for abused hurt children could be the key in creating an air-tight case. George was determined to get this case brought to light quickly and efficiently. His real goal was to keep Alex out of the whole affair; the likelihood of this happening was small, but George would do his damnedest to make sure his boy wouldn’t suffer.

George had a feeling the unturned stones of Alex’s past were going to be just as haunting as the confessions he had revealed last night.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“I’m just throwing it out there, but, what if we left campus and grabbed lunch?” John’s suggestion rang through the empty room, gaining the attention of the other boys.

Hercules sat up from where he had slumped on the desk. “That is a fantastic idea. We have an hour anyway. Let’s go grab burgers or something.” He threw a glance to Lafayette who was sitting on top of a desk. “Unless you have a fight scheduled with one of George’s cronies.”

Lafayette through him a feral grin, “ _Non,_ not today.”

Alex sat up from where he had been sprawled on the floor, using his backpack as a pillow. His mind flashed to the conversation he and John had that morning.

“I’m bi,” he blurted, feeling his face heat up as all eyes turned to him. “I—Uh…” He took a deep breath, willing his heart to stop beating so quickly. “I just thought you guys should know.” He looked towards the ground.

“ _Oui, mon petit lion_ _._ _”_ Lafayette was giving him a fond grin, “I’m sure some of us are more excited to hear this than others.” The French teen threw a look at John who was staring hard at his shoes, his attempt at hiding his blush and smile futile.

Lafayette turned his eyes back to Alex who was fiddling with the sweaters oversized sleeves, “But thank you for sharing, _mon cher._ I am pansexual, for I find everyone beautiful.” He gave Alex a mischievous look, “ If you have not already guessed, we all fall on the scale known as pédé.”

Alex huffed a laugh as the French teen wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.

“Don’t be so crude, man.” Herc gave Lafayette a stern glare, before turning to Alex. “But he’s right. It seems that we’ve flocked together.”

“Don’t be vague, Herc.” John rolled his eyes, giving Alex a smile, before volunteering his own information. “I’m gay.”

“Heteroflexible,” Hercules chimed in, sticking his tongue out at John.

Alex nodded. Hercules seemed to be the kind of guy that would take things like attraction in stride; he had that kind of personality.

Herc made another rude gesture at John. “I was getting to that before you rudely interrupted me, Pongo.”

Alex gave Hercule’s a bewildered look. Pongo was a weird name to call someone, even for Hercules.

“Oh my god, Herc, I told you that nickname has to go, man.” John had flung his hands up in despair, “It’s not going to catch on. You need to drop it.”

Lafayette let out a laugh, skipping over to John and grabbing his chin, tilting his face upwards. “Oh, _mon ami,_ I think it will catch on. You are just like the spotted dog. Your spots just happen to be freckles, _cher._ ”  

“I resent everything about that statement, Laf.” John pulled away from Lafayette’s grip. He hopped off the table, walking to Alex and folding himself on the floor with his arms crossed. “I’m staying over here. Alex is nice and won’t give me mean nicknames based off of dogs.” John gave Alex an imploring look. “Will you Alex?”

Alex bit the inside of his cheek to stop the laughter that was tickling the back of his throat. “Of course not.”  
  
John made a noise of agreement. “See, this is how you treat your friends.” He shot Laf and Herc a dirty look.

Lafayette rolled his eyes. “Of course little Alex wouldn’t name you Pongo. He has no idea who Pongo is.”

Hercules groaned. “Totally right. We never got to 101 Dalmatians.” He turned towards Alex. “Pongo is the dad Dalmatian from the movie. He has spots,” he made a gesture towards John, who was rolling his eyes, “similar to our dear Laurens’ freckles.”

John opened his mouth to voice his complaints but was cut off by Lafayette, who stood and slid his coat on.

“ _Non,_ if we want to eat _le déjeuner_ we must continue this conversation in the car.”

Hercules stood, repeating the motion but rolling his eyes at Lafayette. “You know the word was lunch. There was no need for the French, baguette.”

As the two bickered John helped Alex stand up, grabbing the shorter boy’s coat and holding it open.

Alex sent him a glare, ready to argue. He didn’t need to be babied.

“Hey, don’t give me that look,” John protested, laughing lightly at Alex’s annoyed face. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t cause yourself any unnecessary pain.” He nodded towards Alex’s wrist. “Don’t think I didn’t notice you wincing when you took your coat off in English this morning. Imagine putting it on without my help. It would be a million times worse.”

Alex rolled his eyes, a fond smile breaking through his irritation. “I don’t think it would be a million times worse.”

John nodded sagely, as Alex gave in and carefully pushed his arms through the sleeves, “You’re right; probably only nine hundred and ninety nine thousand times worse. Pardon me.”

Alex snorted.

“If you two lovebirds are done, let’s get a move on.” Hercules’ voice broke into their bubble of conversation, causing Alex to jump. The movement made his coat jerk, the motion making something fall out of his pocket.

“Oops, sorry, Alex,” Hercules said, apologetically. “Wait. Is that…” He walked over to the other two teenagers, bending down to pick up what had fallen out of Alex’s pocket.

Alex blinked. His back was warm. He had unintentionally moved closer to John as Hercules moved towards them. He wasn’t panicking, but his heart rate had picked up with Hercules’s shout.

Hercules took a step back, coming shoulder to shoulder with Lafayette. He held out the object with a displeased frown coloring his face. “Alex, you were suppose to eat this, not shove it in your pocket.”

Alex could feel his face heat up. “I forgot.”

Lafayette gave Alex a concerned look. “ _Mon petit lion,_ did you eat the granola bar I gave you this morning?”

Alex thought back to the item in question that rested at the bottom of his bag. He refused to answer, looking at his shoes.

“Hey, c’mon, guys. It was a busy morning. I’m sure Alex didn’t mean to forget. He’ll make it up at lunch.” John’s sure voice and steady hand on Alex’s shoulder made the shorter boy look up.

Hercules and Lafayette were still staring unhappily but nodded at John’s words.

Herc sighed, shaking his head. “Fine. But I'm literally going to watch eat a whole burger. No complaining.” He gave Alex a stern look.

Lafayette ran a hand through his curly hair, “ _Oui,_ you must eat, little Alex, otherwise you will waste away and that will make me very sad.” He gave Alex a despairing look.

Alex nodded sheepishly, warmed by the care his friends were showing and steady presence of John behind him.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The news was troubling. George had had an inkling of hope that nothing else would turn up regarding the Atkinsons or Chaters. The files he’d received moments ago lay spread on his desk, showing some of the most ugly sides of humanity. Everything that should have been uncovered during the vetting was painting a haunting image.

George ran a hand over his head. The extent of turmoil Alexander had likely faced was entwined with these pages of information. From what he had skimmed, things did not look good.

He took a deep breath, reaching for the phone. This wasn’t something that he could do on his own; he needed the moral and emotional support. Picturing Alexander in such a vulnerable state made George inwardly cringe. The boy had such knowing eyes. He was a fighter. The fact that Alexander continued to move forward was proof of this.

He dialed the phone. It rang for only a moment before the comforting voice of Martha answered on the other line.

“Sweetheart? Is everything okay? I thought you said the boys made it to school?” Her voice was concerned.

George let out a sigh, his tone taking on a rough edge. “The boys made it to school just fine…” He picked up a sheet of paper, reading it in detail and feeling his fingers clench in anger.

“George?”

He could hear the worry in her tone, but he couldn’t answer as he processed the revealed information.

“I’ll meet you at home this afternoon. I’m going to make it an early day.” George’s voice was steady, but the undercurrent of anger was still prevalent.

Martha hummed over the line. “I take it your people found out some unsavory things.”

George let out a disgusted laugh. “That’s putting it mildly.”

Martha sighed, the sound crackling over the phone. “We’ll deal with it together. Alex is with us now. We’ll do our best to protect him and set things right.”

He ran another hand over his head. “He’s going to need a lot of help, to get back to a place where he doesn’t flinch and spiral into panic attacks. Martha—”

“Hush.” Her tone was stern. “We love that boy already. You know we’ll do whatever it takes to make things right. Now put all the papers away and come home. I’m cancelling my classes and we’re going to figure this out.”

George laughed dryly. “Alright.” He paused, shuffling the papers silently. “I love you.”

“I love you too, old man.” Her voice was teasing, trying to make this situation less dark. “Everything is going to be okay. I’ll see you soon.”

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

“So the school has a blog?” Alex asked, confused as his three friends lead him to a classroom after the last bell had rung.

Lafayette nodded, bouncing ahead of the group, and holding his arms out with a wide smile,“ _Oui,_ everyone participates with their sections and Angelica—”

“She’s the president—” Hercules cut in.

Lafayette turned around and shoots him a dirty look. “I was getting to that. You interrupt like you have no manners.” Lafayette crossed his hands over his chest.

Hercules rolled his eyes, “Hey! I was just trying to make sure Alex knows—”

“They’re gonna go on like that forever.” John rolled his eyes giving Alex a grin.

Alex returns the look with a small smile of his own, “So it’s like the newspaper then?”

John nodded. “Yeah, except it's online. That way the school doesn’t have to throw away money on paper or whatever.”

Alex let out a laugh.

John gave him a questioning look.

“It’s not like they’d have to worry about money.” He gestured generally with one hand. “This is the nicest school I’ve ever been to.”

John gave Alex a mischievous grin. “Yeah, well, they would never put money towards a paper like ours.”

Lafayette’s laughter broke into their conversation. The boys looked up to see that he had hopped on Hercules’ back and was forcing the muscular teen to carry him the rest of the way. Hercules bared the weight with good graces, smiling widely as the French teen pointed forwards.

John rolled his eyes. “Those two just need to kiss already. They’ve been like this since I’ve known them.”

Alex gave Lafayette a fond look. “They’ll get there in time.” He turned his attention back to John. “Wait, why wouldn’t they pay for a print copy of your guys’ paper?”

John shrugged. “We tackle a lot of controversial topics.”

“ _Oui!_ You Americans have so many issues.” Lafayette was still perched on Hercules’ back, looking smug. They were standing outside the meeting room, waiting for the other two to catch up.

Hercules huffed a laugh, pinching one of Lafayette’s legs and causing him to yelp. “Don’t even start that nonsense, French Fry. You can’t even talk. At least our revolution didn’t end with us chopping off heads.”

Herc turned his attention to Alex. “But yeah. We cover things that are in the news. John’s part of the pro/con column.”

“Hercules and I cover the latest fashion trends.” Lafayette tugged at Hercules’ headband. “We are very popular. Many people visit our page.”

Hercules dropped Lafayette in annoyance, fixing his headband with a huff. Lafayette gracefully landed on his feet, giving the muscled teen an innocent smile.

“Honestly, the pro/con column is John single-handedly trying to outwit Jefferson and Madison. I’m just happy if we make it out at the end of the meeting without any punches being thrown and avoid a trip to the nurse.” Hercules threw a hard look at John who scowled.

John shoved into the room, ignoring the eyeroll from Lafayette. “It’s not my fault the two of them are ignorant. Just because we live in Virginia doesn’t mean they have to take the conservative side on every issue.”

Alex stared ahead. This could be something he could be part of. Debating topics was something he was good at. He loved throwing out numbers and evidence to prove his opinion was superior; just the thought of getting to write for the sake of arguing made his hands itch in anticipation.

Lafayette stuck his head out of the classroom.

“ _Mon petit lion,_ are you coming?”

Alex nodded, hurrying inside. Walking close to Lafayette, he began shooting off questions. “Do you think, maybe, I could help? Like, with research and formulating an argument? I’m really good at that. Gathering support to discredit the opposition was something I—” He hadn’t felt this excited in a long time. His hands were trembling.

“Who are you?” a strong voice snapped, causing Alex to stand ramrod straight and take a step backwards. Lafayette gave him a worried look, grabbing his shoulder gently and pushing him towards the empty seat next to John.

Lafayette leaned in close, and whispered, _“Do not fret, little Alex. She is all bark and no bite.”_ Lafayette patted his back and took a seat next to Hercules, who was giving him the thumbs up sign.

Alex sat down, dazed at the manhandling.

The girl sitting at the front table had papers spread over the surface, her laptop at the center of the mess. She looked over the screen, giving Alex a once over.

Alex let his gaze drop to the table. The intensity of Angelica’s stare was enough to make his face heat up.

“Oh, come on, Angelica, I literally told you about him twenty minutes ago.” Eliza’s kind voice echoed through the room.

Alex swallowed, looking back at Angelica. Her gaze had softened with the entrance of Eliza.

“Right...” She squinted. “Alexander?”

He took a deep breath, gathering his courage to respond.

“I prefer Alex, actually.”

Before she could say anything else, the door slammed open, causing all the occupants in the room to jump.

“What’s up, bitches?! I’ve finally arrived. Hold your applause.” He stalked into the middle of the room, arms wide like he was receiving applause. “I know, this is is a joyous occasion and you are _all_ excited by my presence. Try to contain yourselves.”

John let out a disgusted snort, his eyes on fire as the brightly dressed teenager waltzed further into the room, followed closely by another teen who promptly sneezed into a tissue.

Alex felt his eyes narrow. This kid was the embodiment of everything he hated about upstate New York. The pedigree just oozed off of him in the most unattractive way. Alex had thought his loathing for the elite had been wrongly justified—the Washingtons and his friends seemed to be the _exception_ not the norm.

Angelica rubbed her temples. “Jefferson, shut the fuck up and sit down. We don’t have time for your nonsense today.” She sighed. “Madison, control your idiot.”

Madison sighed, grabbing Jefferson’s collar and dragging him towards a seat.

Angelica cleared her throat, standing up. “We have a lot of shit to catch up on since some people,” she shot daggers at the three boys in the corner who were trying to go unnoticed, “skipped another meeting.”

Alex couldn’t help the smile that broke out across his face. Angelica was a force to reckoned with. Not even Lafayette was arguing.

Eliza made an annoyed noise. “And I told you earlier that they had an excuse.” She gestured towards Alex. “They were recruiting a new member. Now our topics have teams.”

“Oh dear.” A southern drawl jibed, “Don’t tell me your group has adopted this little urchin into your fold.” He gave Alex a once over. “It looks like you found another oddity to add to your little club of miscreants.

Alex bristled, shooting to his feet, his adrenaline sizzling under his skin. “I don’t know where you get off calling me names. You don’t even know me, asshole.”

“Oh, that’s unexpected,” Jefferson commented, looking at Alex as if he were an interesting toy before turning his attention to Lafayette. “I heard that this little pup was following you around. I wasn’t aware that he could bark.”

Lafayette rolled his eyes, not bothering to respond.

Alex could feel himself burn from the inside out. “Why don’t you come a closer, see if I can bite?” He was taunting the other teen, all the emotions of the past few days swirling into a target that happened to be the other boy’s face.

“So quick-witted! I like you. What’s your name?” Jefferson’s voice was giddy.

Alex looked at the other boy, confused.  

“Alex,” John tugged on his sweater, “sit down. Trust me; when it’s time to hit him, you want to have a good reason.”

Alex allowed John to pull him back into his seat, bewildered.

“Ah, yes, you would know all about that wouldn’t you, Laurens?” Jefferson gave John a shark-like grin, leaning back in his seat, pushing the chair onto two legs so he could rest his feet on the table.

Madison sneezed, causing Jefferson to lose his balance and crash to the floor. There was a beat of silence.

Angelica laughed. “Well if you’re done acting like idiots, we can actually get started.”

Jefferson groaned from the floor. “As you were, Miss Schuyler.”

Alex couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face. He chanced a look at John only to see him already staring with a fond look.

“You were about to punch him in the face, weren’t you?” The amusement coloring his tone make Alex’s smile widen.

“Well I’m not a dog, I wasn’t going to bite him,” he snarked back.

Lafayette laughed. “Of course not. You’re a lion.”

Alex let out a small laugh, his grin settling on his face.

Hercules nodded in agreement. “I’ll say, your roar is something else. I haven’t seen Jefferson this excited since John missed his face and punched a wall.”

John let out a wounded noise. “That wasn’t cool, man. Why did you have to bring that up?”

“Excuse me.” A frosty voice caught their attention. “Is there something more important than your assignments for the week? The assignments that were supposed to be allotted yesterday but had to be pushed back so now there are only three days to get them done. Those assignments?”

Lafayette turned on the charm, “ _Oui,_ we are waiting with bated breath _madame._ ”

Angelica snorted, handing each pair a piece of paper.

“John I expect you to show Alex the ropes and for your post to be twice as good.” Her tone left no room for argument.

“Of course. We’re going to blow you away.” John said with certainty.

Alex felt his heart speed up at the secret smile John threw his way after the declaration.

Angelica made a derisive noise, “You better.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys. Chapter Gr8 is over. Now onto chapter 9. If you haven't already PLEASE join me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/)  
> and come check out the [AMAZING](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fanart) artwork done for RU. Seriously IT WILL BLOW YOUR MINDS. 
> 
> Extra content and sneak peeks during the week are also available for your viewing pleasure. 
> 
> Please Comment! Kudos! and Share with your fellow ham friends. You guys have been so great to me. I love all of you and I'm so glad we're moving forward. IM GETTING SAPPY. 
> 
> Till next time <3


	9. Nine

The couple sat at the kitchen table, sifting through the documentation silently. The room held a tense air, the weight of discovery sitting on their shoulders.

“George, we’re going to need to do something about this immediately.” Martha looked down at the papers, highlighter in her hand, marking a prudent piece of information. “For the sake of any other children, we need to make sure these families are taken off the approved foster list.” She marked aggressively through another paragraph. “In the case of Christopher Atkinson and William Chater, jail time needs to be pursued.”

The man let out a tired sigh. “There will be an investigation. I can make that much happen with a phone call and sending this information to the authorities.” He placed his pen on the table, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I just don’t understand how Fairfax could let these discrepancies slide.”

Martha hummed noncommittally. “It’s a big department dear. I’m sure he didn’t handle vetting for every home he placed children in.”   

George let out an irritated huff. “Alexander came to this country in hopes for a better future. Instead he was quite literally thrown to the wolves.” George continued, anger simmering under his skin, “Martha, that boy lost everything.” He ran a hand over his head, trying to calm himself. “America was his ticket to better himself and we’ve let this happen. The country has failed him.” He gave Martha a despairing look. “He has so much to offer.”

She laid a warm hand over his. “He’s with us. We’re going to get him help.” She gestured towards the papers. “Unless you plan to act like these despicable human beings…?” Martha trailed off, raising an eyebrow in question.

George shook his head, his frown growing deeper at the mere suggestion. “Of course not.”

She patted his hand. “Exactly my point. We’re going to help him now.”

He sighed, his anger still simmering despite Martha’s reassurances. “What do you suggest we do?”

She placed a piece of paper onto a pile, organizing the information. She didn’t look up from the documents. Every detail about these families painted a picture of depravity. She grimaced, her heart heavy. “We need to talk to Alex."

George made a disbelieving noise. “Do you really think that will go over well? It was only last night that he threw himself down the stairs at the very notion.”

Martha sighed but held strong. “You’re right.” She gave the sheet of paper in front of her a considering look. “But we need to think of the other kids, George. Alex—”

George stood, the urgency in his tone clear. “The other kids are important Martha, but so is Alexander’s welfare.”

Martha gave George a heated look. “Don’t pull that tone with me. You know I care about Alex. He’s a sweet boy who doesn’t deserve anything that he’s been through.”

George began to pace; he was not one to lose his cool but as he shuffled through the current file, his blood began to boil. He shot Martha a challenging look. "Then why do you insist on making him relive these painful experiences?" He slams the file onto the table, the sound echoing through the empty house, the papers falling out and scattering over the surface.

Martha watched her husband calmly. He was truly enraged by what had happened to Alex. She felt her love grow for the stubborn man that she had chosen to spend her life with. He was passionate and that was getting in the way of thinking about the situation in a coherent manner.

George waited for a response; after not receiving one, he continued speaking angrily. “This man has been convicted of a felony, Martha. He needs to go to prison now.”

“No, what you have are charges that were dropped. You can’t pull sealed records up in court without a good basis for an accusation.” She was right of course; the file showed that the charges had been dropped. Likely kept under wraps by paying the right people. She gave George a stern look, trying to rein him in. “You’re a smart man, George. Use your head. What’s best for Alexander is what will be best for the other children. You’re letting your emotions blind you.”

He short Martha an enraged glare.“Well someone needs to be emotional in this. You’re acting callous. I don’t understand how you can just sit there and act like everything's okay. That boy cannot even be in a room alone with an adult man.” He went back to pacing, needing to keep his body busy as his mouth continued to run.

“George.” Martha’s tone was coaxing, trying to pull him out of the frenzy he’d worked himself into. He was normally such a composed man, but Martha had been married to him long enough to understand that his tantrums, though far and few, needed to run their course. When the fire in his eyes finally settled, that’s when she would come in and make him listen to reason.

George continued to pace, ignoring Martha’s calling of his name.“I know you’ve noticed, Martha. The fact that Atkinson has had a sexual assault charge swept under the rug is damning. Money greases the wheels, after all.”

Martha let out another sigh, placing the papers down and giving George her full attention. Her tone was still gentle, but her patience was wearing thin. “You’re being irrational. You need to sit down—”

George interrupted, “No, Martha, this—”

She’d had enough.“Sit down!”

George looked up from his pacing, his eyebrows raising at the volume. It was rare for Martha to raise her voice. He was instantly cowed by the angry look on her face, collapsing back into his seat in frustration.

Seeing that she had his attention, she continued sternly. “You are out of your mind if you don’t think I care a great deal for Alex. It’s the system that failed Alex and we’re here to pick up the pieces. In doing so, we need to make sure it doesn’t happen to any more children.”

“I—” he tried to interrupt.

Martha gave George a hard look, cutting him off. “You’ve said your piece—now hush.” Her gaze softened. “We don’t need to get Alex involved at this point. Sending what we have to Fairfax should be enough to launch a formal investigation. But at some point we’re going to have to encourage Alex to share what has happened to him.”

George shook his head in disagreement.“At the cost of his mental health? You’ve seen his panic attacks, Martha. Do you really think that it’s in his best interest to—”

Martha interrupted him again before he could work himself back up. “Stop.” She reached her hand out, grasping his tightly.

He squeezed back, grounding himself.

Martha sighed. “His physical and mental health are extremely important. We have _time_ to go through with this. All of this planning and action doesn’t have to immediately involve him. We’re going to have to talk to him, but that doesn’t mean it has to be today.”

George’s worried expression began to relax as the two of them finally got on the same page.

“How’re we going to do this?” he asked her, resigning himself to the long road ahead.

She hummed sadly, patting his hand. “How did we handle Lafayette when he came unexpectedly into our lives?”

He leaned back into his own seat, sighing. “One step at a time?”

“One step at a time.” she agreed.

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

As Lafayette drove them home from school, Alex felt a heightened new sense of purpose. The visions that seemed to constantly plague him were now being pushed aside for a greater cause. He looked down at his hands, almost mystified by their constant twitching. He hadn’t felt the itch to create, truly create, in so long. It felt like a piece of him was slowly melding back into place, a part of his soul that had been hidden away for fear the damage would be too extreme and destroy the gift he had been born with.

“ _Mon ami,_ are you well?” Alex turned his attention to Lafayette. The other teen was shooting him a concerned look. “You have been staring at your hands for a concerning amount of time.” His tone suggested he was ready to pull over.

Alex gave a precursory glance to his trembling hands. Not even the brief throb of pain from his wrist could stifle the excitement in his bones. He gave Lafayette a genuine smile of reassurance. “I’m okay.”

Lafayette gave him a searching look, his lips still pulled into a concerned frown. “I only ask because of the shaking, _mon cher.”_ He turned his attention back to the road.“I would not want you to feel  _paniqué.”_

Alex shook his head, slightly chagrined by the other teen noting his behavior. “No, I’m really fine. I’m just…” He paused, trying to gather his thoughts coherently. “Today’s been…” He stopped again, and took a deep breath. “Today’s just been a really good day.”

Lafayette gave the boy a smile.“ _Oui,_ I’m sure it is the beginning of many good days.”

Alex nodded with hesitation; the fact that things seemed to be going well for once made the hairs on the back of his neck stand. The wave of good things always had a way of being washed away and leaving Alex a little less of the person he was. He wasn't feeling the impending weight of doom yet, but that didn't mean bad things weren't on the horizon. He bit his lip, trying to remember the last time the anxiety in his chest wasn’t a crushing immovable weight.

Lafayette’s teasing tone broke into Alex’s contemplation.“It seems that you and John have many things in common.”

The shorter boy blushed, tugging absentmindedly on a whisp of hair that had escaped the confines of his braid. He was silent, trying to figure out something to say that wouldn't give away too much. He sighed, admitting in a small voice, “John’s nice.”

Lafayette let out a soft laugh. “Oh?”

Alex huffed. “You know he’s nice. So is Herc.” He gave the other teen a small smile. “You’re okay too when you’re not picking on me.”  

Lafayette laughed wholeheartedly. “ _Mon petit lion,_ I only ask because I am curious.”  
  
Alex rolled his eyes.

The French teen eyed the other boy. “Plus it is very interesting how John is acting.”

That caught his attention. Alex didn’t even realize he had perked up at the comment. “What do you mean interesting?”

Lafayette’s hands tightened on the wheel. “Our dear Laurens does not have the best home life.”

Alex sucked in a breath. “Does…” He picked at his sweater, worry prickling his heart. “Does his dad hit him?”  
  
“ _Merde!_ No. Nothing like that, little Alex.” He sighed. “It is more…”

Alex clenched his good hand into a fist, thinking the worst.

Lafayette shook his head, his curls bouncing with the motion. “I do not wish to reveal anything that John does not yet want for you to know. Just take note that our John has a good heart, but it takes much to chip away at his exterior.”

Alex gave Lafayette a considering look. “I don’t understand.” John had been nothing but kind since Alex had met him. The only harshness he had seen from the other boy had been towards...he tilted his head in thought. It did seem that John was a bit short with other people that weren’t in their immediate friend group.

The French teen interrupted his thoughts. “ _Oui._ Our John has a tendency to be confrontational.” Lafayette gave Alex a knowing look, a teasing smile gracing his face. “But he has taken to you like, how they say? A fish to water?”  

Alex felt his face heat, but the worry was still present. “I know you don’t want to break John’s trust but…” Alex trailed off, feeling uncomfortable. He hadn’t known any of these people long, but they already meant something to him. The thought of seeing any of his new friends hurt made an angry heat settle under his skin. “...he isn’t in immediate danger while he’s home, right?”

He held his breath as he waited for Lafayette to answer. If John was going through what he had with his _actual_ family... Alex’s heart twisted painfully as he thought about the boy who had drawn him a turtle just to keep him from panicking.

“ _Non,_ it is nothing physical, little Alex. It is more of an emotional lack of support.” Lafayette’s words were disjointed, as if he could not find the right order to explain John’s situation without giving too much away. “He will tell you when he is ready.” He gave Alex a reassuring look. “Do not fret. John is very strong.”

Alex nodded absentmindedly, making a promise to himself to keep an eye on John. Things like that had a way of taking a turn for the worse without a person even realising it.

 **_Uncomfortable looks evolve_ ** **_d_ ** **_into distressing touches_** ** _. E_** ** _verything that_ ** **_was_ ** **_suppose_** ** _d_ ** **_to be better_ ** **_was_ ** **_worse. He_ ** **_couldn’t_ ** **_breath_** ** _e_ ** **_—_ ** **_never fully. The weight of the unknown s_ ** **_at_ ** **_heavy on his chest. Alex knew it was coming;_** ** _he just_ ** **_didn’t_ ** **_know when. The waiting_ ** **_was_ ** **_the worst part. The anticipation of the wrong that was always being threatened._ **

**“** Little Alex?” Lafayette’s voice broke through his thoughts, and Alex could feel himself gasp. He had slipped into a memory without realizing it. He grabbed at the sweater, grasping the material tightly as his heart tattooed the panic that his body had suddenly put him through.

“Alex?” Lafayette was worried.

Alex looked over, trying to give the other boy a reassuring smile but barely managing a grimace. “I’m okay.” His voice was raspy; his throat had constricted in an achingly familiar way.

Lafayette gave him another distressed look, reaching over and placing a hand over Alex’s clenched fist. “Are you sure, _mon cher?_ ”

Alex nodded. “I’m okay.” He let out a breath. “I’m fine.” The other teen gave him an unconvinced look, making Alex backtrack. “I will be. Just give me a second to catch my breath. I promise.”

Lafayette gave him another look before nodding and letting go of his hand. “Take all the time you need, _petit lion_ _._ We are in no hurry.”

Alex nodded, relaxing against the seat. He measured his breaths, counting to stay concentrated. _One, two, three, breathe in._ _Un, deux, trois_ _,_ _inspirer._ Everything was fine. His mind flashed back to the memory; he shut his eyes tightly. Everything wasn’t fine but it was definitely getting better.

0-0-0-0-0-0

Alex was sprawled out on his comforter, his laptop resting in front of him. He had been researching nonstop since saying goodnight to Laf and the Washingtons. He was settled on the floor, on his usual side of the bed. Despite the events that had unfolded lately, he couldn’t seem to fathom the thought of sleeping in the bed. It made his skin itch and his brain race in a way that would prevent any semblance of sleep from becoming a possibility.

The fact that he had slept through the night on the couch with Lafayette did not help. His normal two to three hours of fitful rest would soon make an appearance. Insomnia was an old friend that he had been acquainted with well before he left the islands. There was too much to do, and never enough time to do it.

So many things were changing in his life. He couldn’t help but feel as if he had no control over anything. That type of awareness was one Alex had become achingly familiar with over the past year. Ever since his mother had died, things had taken a downward turn. He could predict things would go array. He had enough evidence to support such a theory. By the time he had made it to the Chaters, their neglectful behavior was anticipated. When he took the punishment for one of the other kids, the physical violence was expected.

Yet, here he was, and things seemed to be going okay. Better than okay. Nobody had tried to lay a finger on him. That in itself was worrying. Alex knew how to deal with those types of situations. The Washingtons were completely different. They cared about his welfare and seemed genuinely infuriated on his behalf when he had shared his story.

The soft vibration of his phone startled Alex out of his thoughts.

**Message via GROUP SMS**

**_Hercules 11:23 p.m._ **

_So Mads just sent me an invite to Jefferson’s party this Saturday. Apparently we were all requested to ‘make an appearance’_

**_John 11:24 p.m._ **

_Jefferson knows I hate his guts, why would I show up to his party? Especially if I was invited._

**_Lafayette 11:24 p.m._ **

_Do not put words into all of our mouths mon ami. Jefferson may be the worst but his parties are_ _grandiose_ . _If nothing else, the wine will make it worth going._

Alex looked at the messages with a smile. If nothing else his friends made everything seem like it was going to be okay. Alex couldn’t help but agree with John; Jefferson seemed like the embodiment of everything he hated about people who had money.

Alex looked back towards his laptop. Once he had figured out how to use the device it had quickly become one of his favorite belongings. The computer had several different tabs open regarding the HB2 bill that had just passed in North Carolina. He and John had been assigned the topic that afternoon and Alex couldn’t believe their luck. He was finally going to be able to write about something important. Tearing apart a bill that targeted transgender individuals was an act that made his blood sing with righteousness.

His eyes flickered to the word document that he had been working on. The page count was already fifteen. He bit his bottom lip in agitation. There had been no real parameters on the assignment. John had suggested to get a few pages down and then they could create a bulletproof argument together. Alex had nodded at the time, but as he stared at the blinking cursor he wondered what John had meant by a few pages.

His phone began to buzz insistently at him again. He glanced down, realizing he had been ignoring his friends for too long, if the amount of messages was anything to go by.

**_Hercules 11:25 p.m._ **

_Well I wanna go. I think it’s about time that we drink all of Jefferson’s booze then leave. I think the only reason he invited us was to see Alex._

**_John  11:25 p.m._ **

_That’s even more reason not to go. The bastard can keep his stupid invitation._

**_Hercules 11:26 p.m._ **

_Alright, down boy. I thought Dalmatians were family dogs? Maybe we should take you to obedience school. What do you think Laf?_

Alex bit his lip, his face breaking out into a grin. Hercules really wasn’t letting the dog jokes go. He could imagine John fuming just as he had that morning.

**_Lafayette 11:26 p.m._ **

_Oui, I think that is a_ _génial idea, cher._

 **_John 11:26_ ** **_p.m._ **

_Knock it off. How many times have I told you that name isn’t sticking. Nobody knows what you’re talking about. Give it up man. It’s time to move onnnnn._

**_Hercules 11:27_ ** **_p.m._ **

_It’s gonna stick Laurens. Just you wait. It just needs time to catch on. And we’re going to that party._

**_Lafayette 11:27_ ** **_p.m._ **

_Herc is correct. We will be going._

**_John 11:28 p.m._ **

_Well I’m not._

**_Hercules 11:28 p.m._ **

_Seriously? You can’t suck it up for one night and use Jefferson for food and booze?_

**_Lafayette 11:29 p.m._ **

_If little Alex comes, I’m sure John would follow._

Alex frowned. He wasn’t sure if he really wanted to go or not. Parties had a lot of people and it was a recipe for disaster as far as he was concerned. He looked back towards the bright screen of his computer, biting his lip in distress. There was so much work to be done if he and John were going to get Angelica’s approval for their article. A lot was riding on this; Alex had a strong desire to prove himself. Not just to his friends, but to the broken kid who had been staring back at him in the mirror for months.

**_Alex 11:31 p.m._ **

_I don’t know. I’ve got a lot of work to do. I really want to impress Angelica with our article._

**_John 11:31 p.m._ **

_Alex is right. We don’t want Angie to be a bitch all next week._

Alex snorted at John’s response.

**_Hercules 11:32 p.m._ **

_Oh she’ll be like that anyway, you’d be a bitch too if you had to work with Jefferson on a regular basis. I still don’t understand why she picked him to be the Vice President. But C’mon Alex! We can celebrate your first week with us._

Alex sighed. He would just have to work hard tonight and show John what he had tomorrow.

**_Lafayette 11:32 p.m._ **

_Oui. Don’t make me come in there and beg little Alex._

Alex rolled his eyes at the other boy’s dramatics, glancing at his locked door nervously. He really didn’t want the boy coming in and asking questions. He looked at his spread on the floor with embarrassment. There were some things Alex just wasn’t ready to disclose. He wasn’t sure if he would ever be ready.

**_John 11:33 p.m._ **

_Don’t pressure Alex. If he doesn’t want to go he shouldn’t have to._

**_Hercules 11:33 p.m._ **

_Down Pongo!_

Alex huffed a laugh, interjecting before the trio could get into another argument.

**_Alex 11:34 p.m._ **

_We don’t have to stay the whole time do we? We could be in an_ _d_ _out in an hour?_

That wouldn’t put them too far behind. If the article was due Tuesday they could get it done Sunday and do revisions until Monday night.

**_Lafayette 11:34 p.m._ **

_Oui, that is acceptable._

**_Hercules 11:35 p.m._ **

_Sweet._

**_John 11:35 p.m._ **

_Ugh fine. But I’m crashing at someone’s place, Dad’s coming home this weekend and I don’t want any part in that._

The teens had slowly drifted off with shared goodnights after John’s reluctant agreement. Alex couldn’t help but feel for the freckled teenager. Whatever was happening with John, Alex was sure he could relate. It pained him to admit it but if it would help John in some way, he would reveal some of his past. He glanced at the drawing that John had given him. It rested against his leather-bound journal. He couldn’t help the warm feeling that filled his body at the happy turtle that was looking back at him. Yes, he would do whatever it took to help John. He was too nice to be hurt.

For the next few hours, Alex trucked through more and more pages of research. By the time his eyes started to burn, his computer had gone into power saving mode. The screen was dark and he was squinting to see the words. His wrist was very much throbbing at this point. He had taken it out of the splint because it was slowing his typing down, but he kind of regretted that decision now. The swelling had gone down a bit but was coming back. The bruises made the slightest caress an ache.

He sighed, realizing he wasn’t going to get any more work done. His head was too fuzzy and the throb in his wrist was too prominent to ignore. Alex pushed himself up from where he had been lying on the floor. He really wished he could snag some tylenol but he wasn’t about to wake anyone to ask where he could find some.

Alex stood, deciding the best thing to do would be to grab a glass of water and suck it up. The drink wouldn’t help his burning wrist but it would relieve his sore throat. He carefully unlocked his door, making his way to the kitchen as quietly as he could.

The clock above the oven was bright in the darkened house. The numbers blinking back at him revealing it was almost four in the morning. He sighed, scrubbing a hand roughly at his eyes. He might be able to get some sleep—a few hours at the very least. The familiar feeling of exhaustion was draping over his body like a blanket.

He trudged back upstairs, trying to be quiet, but missed the last step. A loud sound to echoed through the silent house as his knees hit the ground. Alex winced at the pain, mentally patting himself on the back for leaving his glass downstairs. He stayed still, gathering his wits about him and waiting to see if the noise woke anyone up.

Sighing in relief when no one came out of their room, he made his way back to his bedroom without any more trouble. He walked into his bathroom to brush his teeth. He was just about to flick the lights off when a gentle knock at his bedroom door caused him to flinch, his heart immediately in his throat.

“Alexander, sweetheart, it’s Martha. Are you okay?” The woman’s gentle voice was unnervingly loud as it broke the silence his room had been in since early evening.

Alex stood statue still, staring at the door. He was frozen and didn’t think he could move if he wanted to.

Then the knob was turning, the door was being pushed in and Martha was walking in with a concerned look on her face. “What are you doing up so late?”

Alex wanted to ask her the same question, but it was obvious that he had woken her up. She was wrapped in a robe; her hair wasn’t as neat as usual and her eyes were as tired as he felt.  

Martha took his silence in stride, stepping farther into the room and looking towards the bed with a frown. “Oh, sweetie, did you fall out of bed?” She looked towards the other side of the bed where Alex had his stuff spread out.

He took a step forward, not wanting her to know that he couldn’t make himself sleep in the bed.

She looked at the deliberately set up bedding on the floor, and bent down, attempting to pick up the comforter.

Alex sucked in a breath and walked forward, stopping the woman from disturbing anything further. He reached out a hand, tugging the blanket from her hand despite the blood rushing in his ears telling him not to do so.

“No. Please.” He couldn’t make his voice work the way he wanted it to. It seemed that his throat had closed up again.

Martha gave the teen a considering look. “Sweetie.” She paused, considering the boy’s face and noticing all of his things that were on the floor. “Are you sleeping on the floor?” She couldn’t help the disbelieving tone that accompanied the question.

Alex cringed at the incredulity in her voice, dropping the blanket and taking a step backwards. He was overwhelmed. He slid against the wall, sitting heavily and pulling his knees to his chest. He didn’t want them to know about the bed thing. He didn’t want to even think about the bed thing. His hesitation with the bed was a combination of multiple factors he didn’t want them to know about.

“Alexander.” Her voice was sharp, cutting through the panic that he was beginning to work himself into. “It’s okay.” Her tone became gentle when he met her eyes.

Alex shook his head, crossing his hands over his chest. “I’m sorry.”

She clucked her tongue. “There’s no need for apologies, sweetheart.” She decided to get on the teenager’s level; standing over him was domineering. She sat down across from him, legs stretched out in front. “Is there something wrong with the bed?”

Alex shook his head again, not speaking.

She let out a soft exhale, before nodding. “Okay, how about we get you some more blankets so you’re not just sleeping on the floor?”

Alex gave her a startled look. His voice was hesitant. “You’re not going to ask why?”

Martha gave him a kind smile, standing up and holding out a hand. “Of course I want to know why,” she was pleasantly surprised that he took the offered hand, “but only when you’re ready to share.” She patted the boy’s shoulder. “Come now. We’ll find some more blankets and then you can grab a few hours of sleep.”

Alex followed dutifully behind her, confused.

0-0-0-0-0-0

The rest of the week passed in a blur of activity, and before Alex knew it, he and the boys were piled into Hercules’ car on their way to Jefferson’s party. Alex wasn’t really sure how Lafayette had convinced the Washingtons to let them go to a party and then crash at Hercules’ house.

A hand waved in front of his face, causing him to jerk suddenly.

“Sorry, _mon cher._ ” Lafayette was turned around in the passenger seat, as far as his seatbelt would allow, his face apologetic.

Alex waved a hand dismissively, sucking in a big breath. He wasn’t going to ruin the evening by freaking out. They were only going to be there for a little while. He could do this.

“Like I was saying, we go in, steal booze and _partirons._ ” Lafayette’s tone was pointed. He had a definite plan in mind and did not want a single thing to go amiss.

Herc let out a whoop in agreement as he turned the car down a long driveway. Alex was once again struck by the absurdity of the housing as Jefferson’s home came into view. It was no wonder that the teen was snobby, his home was just as nice as the Washingtons.

“Are we really going to steal alcohol?” John was sitting in the back seat begrudgingly. His body tense; he was coiled and ready to strike at any given moment.

“Of course we are! That’s the point. We’re gonna Boston Tea Party this bitch.” Hercules’ excited voice filled the car.

Alex’s face scrunched up in confusion. “That doesn't make any sense. The Boston Tea Party was where the Sons of Liberty dumped pounds of tea into the harbor in resistance to the taxes that King George the III—”

John huffed a laugh, reaching out and lightly poking Alex’s forehead. “Not literally. Herc likes to make all of our missions codenamed after the Revolutionary War.”

Alex blushed as John pulled his hand away, his voice coming out a little higher than normal,  “Why?”

Hercules broke into the conversation, jovially. “Because!” He thrust a fist into the air. “We fight against everything George and his troop of ignorant assholes stand for.”  

Alex turned to John. “I thought this was Jefferson’s party?”

John rolled his eyes at the thought of the other teen. “It is, but if there’s a party you can bet George is gonna be there.”

Alex hunched in his seat. “I didn’t know that.” His mind instantly flashed to Lee. He wasn’t prepared for another fight. He’d do it if it was necessary, but...

Lafayette broke through his musings. “ _Mon ami,_ do not fret! There will be no fighting tonight. It is a retrieval mission, yes? In and out.”

Alex sunk further into his seat as Hercules put the car into park. Something didn’t feel right about this whole situation. Looking out the window, he noticed people huddled together outside, their silhouettes lighting up periodically by flashing lights from inside the home.

“Alright, guys. we can do this.” Hercules’ voice was serious as he turned around in his seat, giving John a warning look. “Don’t start fights with anyone. We’ll never make it out with the goods if you cause a scene.”

John huffed indignantly. “I wasn’t going to—”

“Oh, don’t start, _mon ami_ _._ You’re eyes are alight.” Lafayette’s teasing tone took a harsh edge. “You will be responsible for _mon petit lion_ _._ Do not act irrationally.”

Alex shot Lafayette a betrayed look. “I don’t need someone to be responsible for me.” He crossed his arms with annoyance. “I’m not a kid who needs somebody to look after them, Lafayette.”

Hercules waved his hands frantically. “No, no, no, absolutely not. No infighting when we’re in enemy territory.” He reached out and tugged Lafayette by the back of his ponytail, causing the taller boy to squawk angrily. “Don’t listen to this idiot.” He let go of Lafayette’s hair.

The French teen immediately reached up to smooth the strands that had been pulled out of place, sending an irritated glare towards the muscled teen, who shrugged innocently.  

“Herc’s right.” John took over, giving Alex a sincere smile. “We have the buddy system in play; we’re stuck with each other for the night.” He gave Alex a searching look. “Unless you’d rather be with one of those losers.” He gestured to Hercules and Lafayette who threw matching dirty looks towards the freckled boy.

Alex sighed, relaxing against the leather of the seat, feeling his annoyance dissipate. “Yeah, okay. That makes sense.” He gave John a shy look. “It’s fine with me. Just know I’m responsible for you too.”

John shot Alex a smile, grateful that his flushed face hidden by the darkness of the evening.

“Yes, yes. Enough of the heart eyes. Are we ready?” Lafayette exclaimed, practically vibrating in his seat.

Alex took a deep breath, trying to will away the nerves that had unsettled his stomach. He looked at his three friends, giving them his best smile. “Let’s go.”

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Things were going fine. Alex was ready to leave as soon as John suggested they try and meet up with the others, but Alex wasn’t going to try and rush out; he didn’t want anyone thinking less of him for wanting to head out early. Their covert searching for alcohol had been a bust. It seemed that Jefferson had predicted that there would be thieves among his guests. Instead of the normal bottles that would stay on the bar, there was an incredibly large bowl of spiked punch and multiple kegs resting in the middle of the kitchen. There was no way Alex and John were going to be able to roll one of those out without attracting attention.

“You would think that someone with as much money as Jefferson wouldn’t care if people stole from him,” John grumbled as he and Alex made their way through the crowd.

Alex patted the boy’s shoulder consolingly. “Maybe Lafayette and Herc got lucky? I feel like Laf can sniff out expensive alcohol.”

John gave Alex an amused grin. “Oh, you’re totally right. If anybody can find something it would be them.” He pulled out his phone, glancing at the time. “We’ve got twenty minutes until we need to head back to the car.”

Alex nodded, pretending like he hadn’t been checking the clock every thirty seconds. For some reason, his palms were sweating. He discreetly wiped them on his jeans, trying not to think about the unpleasant clamminess of his hands. There were only twenty minutes left. John was with him. They hadn’t run into Lee. Jefferson had greeted them at the door, letting them in with a mocking bow. Everything was fine.

John tapped his shoulder. “Hey, I’m gonna head to the bathroom before we head out. I’m sure Herc will wanna stop somewhere and grab food.” He turned towards a hallway. “You’ll be here when I get back?” He gave Alex a stern look.

Alex snorted, pushing the freckled teen forward. “Yeah, I’ll wait right here. Go on.”

John gave him a pleased grin before walking off.

Alex tried to focus on the people in the room—anything to stop the pounding of his heart. He didn’t need John to hold his hand through the night. He was perfectly capable of being alone in the crowd of strangers. He glanced nervously from person to person. His hands began to tremble. Alex looked down the hallway that John had disappeared down. He bit the inside of his cheek and decided to follow.

The room at the end of the hallway was distantly familiar. The big barren windows drew Alex forward as if hypnotized. He placed a hand on the glass, unfazed by the chill.

**_He didn’t understand the purpose of cleaning the house when Christopher had someone clean it once a week. It wasn’t even dirty. He ignored the burn of his muscles as he stretched to reach the top of the window, his shirt pulling up as he did._ **

“Of course you’d be here to ruin the evening.” The words were said with a sneer, distaste evident.

Alex heard the voice distantly; the pounding in his ears was too loud. His vision seemed to have narrowed in focus. Breathing felt like he was adding more sticks to a fire. His chest felt hot. The chill of the glass warmed under his hands as he continued to stare forward.

“Oh, Lee, it seems you were wrong about scaring the little waif straight.” A set of high pitched giggles followed the statement. “He seems perfectly content in ignoring your threats.” The childish laughter trailed off into a considering tone. “You may be losing your touch, pet.”

**_“You’ve been trying to hide from me, Alex."_ **

There was a beat of silence before an angry growl of frustration tore through the room. Alex was suddenly being pushed against the window. It was like his world had been narrowed down to feeling. He couldn’t bring himself to speak or move; he was just shaking against the glass as another body kept him pinned forward. There was an arm pushing on the back of his neck, shouting soundless words into his ear.

**_“After all I do for you, the least I deserve is a little compensation for the trouble you’ve caused me.”_ **

He closed his eyes, willing the memories to go away. He couldn’t hear. He couldn’t breathe. Everything was closing in from all sides. He couldn’t feel anything but the coolness of the glass.

There was screaming, Alex couldn’t make out the words. The white noise that filled his ears was too loud. The pressure on his neck and body was wrenched away.

Then suddenly there was nothing holding him up and he was sliding down the glass in an instant. Legs unable to hold him up, his head bounced off of the window and he distantly thought that he should do something but he couldn’t. He was on the ground, the carpet soft under his hands. He tried to move but his limbs were too heavy. His body continued to tremble as he stared out into the night, unable to tear his gaze away from the flakes that were falling from the sky. It was snowing again.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alrighty everyone. This is where we are going to take a quick hiatus. I have finals next week and I wanna focus on that. The school struggle. In the meantime I will be working on the [FosterDadLin](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fosterdadlin) tag sporadically and I will continue to talk with you guys on [Tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/)! 
> 
> Come check out my [amazing artists](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fanart),[short blurbs](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/behindthescenes), and everything else my blog holds. Extra content is being released pretty steadily and that should help keep you guys sated for a little while. I will see you in two Mondays<3333 
> 
> Please come talk to me! And a special shout out to my Betas and Ollie for this chapter. My backbone for this fic truly!


	10. Ten

 

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” A southern drawl filled the room, the voice intended to mock. It would have been successful if not for the undercurrent of anger. “George, this is tasteless, even for you.”  

Jefferson was standing beside Alex, his arms crossed and his gaze heavy. “You know the rules of my parties, gentlemen. This kind of behavior isn’t tolerated.” He shot a look towards the two boys who had shadowed him into the room, “Burr, would you mind escorting them out?”

Aaron nodded, a disarming smile stretching across his face. “Of course,” He made a sweeping gesture. “Shall we?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?!” Lee glared at Jefferson, his teeth bared. “If you think you can make _us—”_

“Enough,” a commanding voice interrupted. “If we are no longer welcome, there is no point in staying.” George stood up from the couch in a flourish, waving two fingers at Lee. “Come along, pet. We must work on your manners.” He paused looking down at Alex, the boy staring blankly out the window, trembling. “You shouldn’t play rough with the lower class. You might catch something after all.” He giggled, following Aaron.

Lee straightened, pushing himself away from the table where he had been shoved. “You picked the wrong side, Jefferson.”

Jefferson let out a bark of laughter, “Quite the contrary.” His eyes became hard. He pointed to the hallway that Aaron and George were walking towards. “Leave.”

Lee stalked off, clipping Jefferson in the shoulder, “You’ll regret this.”

A sneering smile bloomed across Jefferson’s face, “Oh, I doubt that.”

At his exit, Madison coughed. “What are we going to do now?” The teen looked towards Alex. “I don’t think we should get near him.”

Jefferson sighed, giving the shaking boy a considering look. “You’re probably right. His friends have to be around here somewhere. It seems strange that they would abandon him.” He gave Madison a confused look. “I thought for sure Laurens would be here; they seem to be attached at the hip.”

 Jefferson shrugged.

“Alex?”

A shocked voice entered the room, quickly followed by the entrance of John Laurens. He fell to his knees beside Alex, reaching out but afraid to touch. John turned his heated gaze to Jefferson.

Snarling, he said, “What did you do?”

Jefferson’s eyebrows shot up. “I stopped whatever was happening, is what I did. You should be grateful.”

“Thomas.” Madison’s reprimanding tone caused Jefferson to deflate.

He let out a sigh, looking away from Alex’s hunched form uncomfortably. “Look, Laurens, despite what you think of me, I had nothing to do with this.”

John let out a nasty laugh. “Of course not. Excuse me for jumping to conclusions. You wouldn’t stoop this low.” He laid a hand on Alex’s back, his gentleness in the motion contradicting his harsh tone.

Jefferson rolled his eyes. “Madison,” he turned his attention to his friend, who was standing, uncomfortably wiping his nose with a tissue, “go find Lafayette and his boytoy.”

“No need for that.” Aaron’s calm voice broke through the room, causing everyone to look over.

Burr walked in with a confused Lafayette and Hercules following closely behind. 

“ _Oui,_ what is this all about—” Lafayette’s words were lost when he saw Alex. He hurried over, crouching beside John. He stroked Alex’s face gently, speaking words in rapid French, trying to get a response out of the smaller teenager. He gave Hercules a scared look.

Hercules walked over, taking sentry position from Jefferson as the other teen walked towards Madison. His voice was careful—calm even though his eyes were alight with anger. “What happened?”

Jefferson flicked an irritated hand in the air. “I have no idea. We walked in and Lee had Hamilton pressed against the window.” He crossed his arms, looking towards the ceiling for patience.  

Aaron nodded, continuing, “Something wasn’t right; even Lee’s bullying wouldn’t leave someone this freaked out. Thomas pulled Lee off of Alex and I escorted them out. That’s all we know.”

Jefferson let out a deep sigh, giving Hercules a searching look. “I suggest you focus on your friend. As for George, leave that to us.”

The threat in his voice caught John’s attention. “Why do you care? You just met Alex. You have no ties to him. Why are you doing anything?” His words were clipped, his tone was no nonsense.

Jefferson shrugged. “Hamilton seems like a worthy adversary. I would hate for him to be broken before I have the chance to tear him apart publically.” His tone was aloof, as he tried to play his actions off. “Besides, George has been a thorn in my side for quite sometime.”

A sneeze turned everyone’s attention to Madison. “Thomas isn’t wrong. George always makes a scene at parties. It’ll be nice to get rid of him for good.”

John shook his head with disgust. “So it has nothing to do with Alex’s well-being. It’s for your own self gain.”

 “John,” Hercules reprimanded before the fight could continue. “That’s enough.” He gave the freckled boy a stern look before turning to Jefferson. “Whatever your reasons, we’re thankful. Alex…” He looked over to the boy who was still unresponsive. “He’s been through a lot and things could have been a lot worse if you hadn’t stepped in and we appreciate it.” Hercules cleared his throat. “Don’t we, John?”

John sighed, the fight draining out of him. “Yeah.” He gave Lafayette an unreadable look. “What are going to do now?”

Lafayette shrugged, distractedly, fully pulling Alex into his lap. The boy was pliant, like a rag doll. The French teen placed a heavy hand over Alex’s chest, trying to gauge his heartbeat. It was erratic under his palm, jumping quickly and unsteadily, matching the smaller teens uneven, gasping breaths.

Aaron broke the silence that blanketed the room. “You should go somewhere where he’ll be comfortable.”

Herc shook his head, snapping himself out of the frozen state. “Burr’s right. I’m going to go start the car.” He paused, looking down the hallway where the noise from the party was spilling in, preparing to make his way into the crowd of people.

“No need,” Jefferson interrupted. “There’s a path that leads outside through the hallway.”

Hercules sighed, “Thanks.” He turned to John and Lafayette. “You guys need help carrying him out?”

John shook his head in agreement. “Yeah, we got it. Go pull the car around.”

As Hercules was leaving, Lafayette stopped him.

“Herc, blast the heat. Little Alex is cold to the touch.” The teen’s words were steady but there was an undertone of fear.

“No problem.” Hercules gave Lafayette a reassuring look. “Everything’s going to be fine.”

Lafayette let out a disbelieving snort, looking down at Alex, whose eyes were still staring blankly ahead.

Everyone made their way out of the room, leaving John and Lafayette with Alex.

John looked down at Alex, who was huddled against Lafayette’s chest. He bit his lip, worry and concern making his voice drop to a whisper. “I think he’s going to need you to keep him close during the ride to Herc’s. I can carry him out and hand him off to you when you get in the car?”

Lafayette nodded in agreement; if he were to stand now he risked jarring Alex. There didn’t seem to be any new injuries from his run in with Lee, but neither boy was willing to take the risk. Carefully, the French teen transferred Alex into John’s waiting arms.

John frowned at the lightness of the smaller teenager, cradling Alex close. He held him bridal style, standing slowly. “Do you know what happened to make him…?”

Lafayette stood and began to walk away. John following carefully behind. “Many things have happened to Alex,” he replied quietly. “What brought this on, I cannot say, for I am not sure.”

John nodded. “It’s bad, though.” He clutched Alex closer to his chest, looking down at the boy in his arms, who blinked, unseeing. “Worse than Dad telling me I’m worthless and disgusting, right?”

Lafayette stopped abruptly, giving John a stern look. “We promised we would not do that.”  

John looked down, his face burning slightly.

“We talked about this. Nobody has suffered worse. We have all had hardships. It is not a competition.” Lafayette’s serious tone softened, “Our struggles have brought us together, _mon ami.”_

John gave the other boy an apologetic grin. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”  He looked down at the boy in his arms, his smile fading into a frown. “It was something though. Something bad.”

Lafayette turned, nodding. “Of that, I have no doubt.” He opened the door leading outside. “But we’ll be there if little Alex wants to talk, _oui?_ ”

  
“Yeah. Of course we will.” He stepped out into the cold winter air. “It feels like…” John paused, lost for words. “I can’t imagine him not being okay, Laf.”

Lafayette stepped behind John, closing the door. He rested a hand on John’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “Everything’s going to be fine.” He repeated Hercules’ words, believing them this time.

 John nodded, pulling Alex closer as he began to shiver from the cold. Everything was going to be fine. If they kept repeating that it would make it true, wouldn’t it?

0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Alex’s head was fuzzy. His body felt stiff. Everything throbbed as awareness slowly came back to him. He blinked heavily; it was dark wherever he was. It felt like he was moving but in a such a way that he could only be in a car. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what happened.

All the sounds attacked his senses at once. The low rumble of the car and hushed voices were too much. He couldn’t think past the bombarding noise coming from all sides. Alex raised his hands to his head, covering his ears.

He had been with John. John left. There had been a window. A big one like…

He squeezed his eyes, pressing his hands tighter to his ears, trying to block out the terrible keening noise echoing through the car. Why were things so hard? Why couldn’t he just be left alone? He wasn’t there anymore; why did the past have to follow him so closely? He just wanted to be left alone. He’d survived that. He’d made it through. Why, why, why, why was he always being tested? Why?

Firm hands covered his and pulled them away from his head. Alex curled into himself, shaking. He could feel the tears leaking from his eyes but he didn’t care. He just wanted it all to stop. He wanted to go home. He just wanted it all to just stop. He wanted his mother. She would stick a Band-Aid on whatever it was and he would believe her when she said things would get better. She wouldn’t lie to him. She never lied. Even when the truth wasn’t good. It was never good; they lived in an awful area and nobody cared about them. All they had was each other.

His hands were released and he wrapped them around himself, squeezing tightly, trying to keep himself together. He turned into the chest that was holding him, pressing his face into the other person's body. He felt like he was going to float away, explode into a million pieces. Nothing felt okay. He was wracked by another sob.

There were voices speaking overhead but he couldn’t hear past the cotton in his ears. He choked in another breath. He distantly felt bad for whoever he was crying on; they were going to have to deal with a wet shirt. The thought made him cry harder. He couldn’t make life easier for everyone. He was a burden everywhere. He started gasping, air hindering him rather than helping him breathe.

A hand started rubbing his back in calming circles that startled him. The pause in choking breaths was exactly what he needed as his body began to regulate his breathing on its own. The pounding in his ears began to slow down and he noticed the quietness of the car, his hiccuping sobs occasionally breaking the silence.

The hand moved to his hair, gently combing through the tangles. The constant pressure on his head was grounding him. He didn’t feel as disconnected from the situation; he was just tired. Exhausted from the inside out. Tears were still making their way down his face but the bone-rattling sobs had slowed.

The car had stopped moving but Alex refused to lift his head. He wanted to stay hidden. There was a conversation happening over his head but he ignored it. He didn’t want to hear or see anything. He squeezed his eyes tighter when the cold air from outside swept in through the open door. A shiver wracked through his body but he barely noticed; he felt like his body had been in a constant state of trembling since John left him at the party.

He bit his lip, trying to get rid of the intrusive thought. He didn’t want to think about anything. He wanted his mind to be blank.

“Alex?” A tentative hand brushed against his back for a moment before pulling away, “We’re at Herc’s place, okay? We’re gonna get you inside with some blankets. Everything is going to be fine.” It was John. He was trying to act calm but Alex could hear the slight edge of panic in his voice.

The sound of a door closing had Alex moving closer to whoever was holding him, trying to make himself as small as possible. Embarrassment and shame were crawling up his spine. He didn’t want John to see him. He was a mess and now John knew it.

“Laf, can you carry him inside?” Herc’s baritone voice interrupted Alex’s thoughts, causing him to flinch.

Lafayette hummed thoughtfully, gripping Alex tightly to his chest before swinging his legs out of the car. “ _Oui,_ I will not drop _mon petit lion.”_

Alex could feel himself being shuffled around, but he didn’t dare move. He stayed curled up tightly, face hidden against Lafayette. He didn’t want to talk to anyone. He just wanted to disappear.

Alex wasn’t surprised by the ease with which Lafayette carried him inside; the boy had a foot and a half on him. He wouldn’t admit it out loud but he didn’t mind being small; he made up for it in other ways. He squeezed his eyes tighter. He used to, at least.

He didn’t concentrate as he was moved from the car to the inside of Hercules’ house, and the next thing he knew he had been placed on a couch. Distantly, he mused, it seemed to be a pattern: he had a meltdown and then was deposited on a couch. This time it was a bit different because it was not the Washington's house, but the sentiment was still the same. Now he was going to be bombarded with questions that he didn’t want to answer.

He was seated in the same corner that he had chosen the first time he had been in Hercules’ house. In all honesty he was surprised that Lafayette had put him down at all; the boy had a tendency to cling to him when he was in distress. Alex was still curled tight, his head now hidden behind his knees as he laid on the couch.

Idle conversation passed over him as a heavy blanket was draped over his body, followed by three more lighter ones piled on top. Alex was literally cocooned and he began to relax. There wasn’t an interrogation happening. He was being left alone. He unwrapped his arms from his stomach, gripping the edge of the first blanket and tugging it close to his body. There was a dip in the couch but he didn’t want to look. He wanted to stay in this moment, warm on all sides, feeling safe for the first time in a long time.

There was a brief argument before the now familiar sounds of a Disney opening. He kept his eyes shut tight. He didn’t want to acknowledge anything else in the room. He didn’t want there to be any opening for someone to talk to him.

Fifteen minutes passed just like this, the cartoon playing on the screen, the volume low. Alex opened his eyes cautiously; his body relaxed. The tension that it had held from the night had finally melted away with the comforting warmth and the quiet of the room. He watched the fishtailed girl with red hair argue with her father apathetically.

It wasn’t until the little red crab began to sing that he began to really pay attention. All the colors were nice, and the music reminded him of the bands that would play at the resorts his mother had worked at. He watched as the little crab reprimanded the red-headed fish girl, becoming absorbed in the colors and story.

When the storm hit the prince’s boat Alex didn’t want to watch anymore. He swallowed thickly as the wind whipped the ship and caused the man to fall overboard. He sat up quickly, throwing a desperate look towards the boy next to him.

“Can we shut it off?” His voice was a croak, his throat scratchy from disuse. “Please.” The thunder cracked and he flinched, the blankets sliding off his shoulders completely. He squeezed his eyes shut again to block out the pictures of the storm.

Hercules’ panicked voice filled the room, “Oh shit. Yeah.” There was a mad scramble for the remote before the room was enveloped in silence.

Alex peeked an eye open. Without the movie playing, the room was thrust into darkness. Somehow that was comforting. He shivered; the loss of blankets chilling him quickly.

A hand reached behind him and began to tug on the fallen blankets, causing him to jump. There was a pause in movement, before Alex sat back, allowing the action to continue.

The blankets were wrapped tightly around his shoulders, once again cocooning him. His thoughts drifted back towards the movie and the storm. He shivered, allowing the hand to rub across his back without complaint. It was nice to have someone there, though he still wasn’t sure who it was.

“Alex?” The soft sound of John’s voice broke the silence that had enveloped the room.

Alex looked at the dark silhouette of the teenager that sat next to him. He couldn’t make out the expression of the boy. He looked towards the other end of the couch where he could see the basic outline of Lafayette and Hercules.

He stayed silent, not knowing how to reply. How could he even begin to apologize the for the burden that he was? He clenched the blankets to his sides, crossing his legs and staring absently at his hands.

“Can I turn on a lamp? Sitting in the dark is leaving me with the feelings of unease.” Lafayette’s voice was barely above a whisper.

Alex clenched his hands; it seemed that everybody was trying to keep him from shattering. He could feel the tendrils of irritation begin to simmer in the pit of his stomach. Frustration at himself, the situation, and their reactions. He could handle if they became angry at him. He knew he was embarrassing. Rushing home with him practically unconscious and then freaking out in the car…He tightened his grip on the blankets.

A light flicked on from the far side of the room. Hercules was hunched over a small lamp. The glow illuminated the room just enough to cast shadows.

John’s hands were suddenly covering Alex’s and it took the rest of his strength to not flinch. He looked up to see John’s face clearly despite the low light.

John was giving him a searching look before he squeezed Alex’s hands gently. “You scared me.”

Alex looked down at their joined hands, ashamed. 

“ _Oui,_ you also frightened me, ” Lafayette announced, standing up from where he was perched on the couch and kneeling in front of Alex. The French teen put a gentle hand on Alex’s knee.  “What happened in there,  _mon petit lion_? You were a ghost.”

Alex didn’t know what to say. He closed his eyes and shook his head. He didn’t know how to explain that the windows of Jefferson’s house had hypnotized him into an unreachable state. The aftermath of those feelings were the really scary part. Alex wanted to keep those memories buried—buried so far down that he never had to think about them again. 

“It was a panic attack, wasn’t it?” Hercules’ deep voice startled Alex out of his spiraling thoughts. He gave the other boy a look, surprised to see that he had moved across the room so quickly and silently. The muscled teen had planted himself next to Lafayette, giving Alex a look of sympathy.

Alex couldn’t help the confused look on his face. “What makes you say that?” he asked, voice quiet.

Hercules shrugged. “Remember when I said my dad split when I was twelve?” 

Alex nodded.

Lafayette hugged Hercules close with his other arm, his face concerned. “ _Mon ami,_ you do not have to—”

Hercules shook his head. “No, we want Alex to trust us, so we have to trust him. That’s how it works. Isn’t that right?” He gave Alex a pained smile. “My dad used to beat the shit out of my mom.”

Alex could feel his eyes widen at the other teenager’s proclamation.

“My mom was tough. She sucked it up and made me believe that things were going to be okay even when she had bruises covering her face.” Hercules took a deep breath, rubbing his free hand over his face. “The day he tried to smack me around was the day Mom decided enough was enough. She was willing to let it happen as long as I was safe. When that wasn’t the case, she kicked him out. Threatened to reveal him as the person he really was. To his job, friends, anybody she could think of, she threatened to tell. The cops were called on the phone that night when she told him to leave and never come back.”

The muscled teen gave Alex an unhappy smile. “It was both the best and worst day of my life. I didn’t have to be scared anymore, but the look on Mom’s face when she realized what had just happened...” He looked past Alex, seeing the past as if it was happening right in front of him. “She slid to the ground. Phone fell from her hand. Shattered into a million pieces. Nothing my daddy had ever done scared me more than that moment.” 

He gave Alex a knowing look. “Those first few weeks, she would do that a lot. Sit down, stare blankly for a while and then cry. She said it was because she couldn’t believe how lucky we were but I knew what she was feeling. The relief of being free from the fear of constant worry was too much.”

“You were acting the same way my mom used to, but, Alex, what the hell was that?” Hercules’ voice was soft despite the harsh words.

Alex could feel his eyes begin to prick with tears again. He ripped one of his hands from John’s grip and rubbed at his face harshly. “I don’t know.” he whispered back hoarsely.

John removed his remaining hand from Alex’s grip, slinging it across his back and pulling him close in reassurance. “It’s okay that you don’t know.”

Alex shook his head, closing his eyes and leaning into John’s side. He knew why it happened. His eyes snapped open, seeing the concerned faces surrounding him. But they didn’t know. They didn’t know and he…he didn’t want to tell them. He didn’t want John to stop giving him warm smiles. He didn’t want Hercules to think he was weak. He didn’t want Lafayette to look at him with pity. He sucked in a big breath. He just wanted things to go back to how they were a few minutes ago, concealed in darkness.

Lafayette hummed thoughtfully, taking Alex’s silence as a different kind of despair. “Why don’t you tell us what you remember? Then we can see if the feelings were as Hercules has described.” He ran a gentle hand over the side of the boy in question.

Hercules nodded. “That’s a good idea. Do you think you could do that, Alex?” He gave Alex a reassuring smile. It didn’t reach his eyes—not the way his boisterous laughing smile had earlier in the evening, before Alex had ruined everything. 

There was a moment of silence, Alex at a loss for what to say. He gave Lafayette a searching look, trying to convince the boy to make the matter drop. Lafayette knew the facts. He knew that he had been punished for his mistakes. Alex turned his gaze to Hercules; his mom had been punished, too. Alex wished that he had suffered the same way that Hercules’ mom had; at least those were scars that could heal. What he felt… it felt like his insides had been destroyed. His very soul had been tainted by the man’s hands as he was slammed against a window. The window. The giant glass window that was clean as could be.

He didn’t even realize he had begun to tremble again.

John made an unhappy noise, pulling the blankets tighter around Alex. “Would you be comfortable sitting closer? You’re freezing,” he muttered, as his hand faintly touched the shaking boy’s cheek.

Alex shrugged as much as he could as his body continued to shake. He wasn’t going to admit he wanted someone to hold him tightly. Being grounded by another person’s touch was exactly what he was going to need to get through this. He needed to stay present and not slip back into the past. He didn’t want to. He couldn’t.

Before these thoughts could escalate, John pulled Alex to his chest. Hercules stood up and took hold of the blankets and pulled them free, resettling them on top of Alex and tucking him into the embrace of John’s body. Alex didn’t even have the energy to feel embarrassed; the shame that would accompany such blatant vulnerability was absent. He was drained.

John wrapped his arms around Alex’s stomach as he leaned against the side of the couch. Alex was now sitting with his head propped against John’s shoulder, facing the other boys. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to gather his wits, but couldn’t seem to sort them out. He felt splintered. He had kept this a secret for so long he didn’t think he would ever tell someone. The truth in what happened to him weighed heavily in his stomach. He knew there would be action that would follow his confession. His shame would become known. People would become aware that he couldn’t handle himself. That he was weak.

“ _Mon cher_ _._ _”_ Lafayette was giving him a warm smile. “We are not going anywhere. I promise.”  

Alex swallowed heavily. He looked at the faces surrounding him; both Herc and Laf looked determined and worried. He couldn’t see John, but Alex imagined he shared the same expression. The three boys in this room cared about him. He blinked at that realization. They had gotten him out of Jefferson’s party and brought him somewhere safe and quiet. He shut his eyes, and took a deep breath.

“The windows were big,” he said, voice barely above a whisper.

He was quiet for a moment before continuing. “The windows were big, and they were clean.” He gave Lafayette a look, unable to hide the panic in his voice.

Lafayette made a humming noise, reaching a hand out and placing it on Alex’s blanket-covered knee. “You are talking about Christopher, the foster father, _oui?”_  

Alex sighed, nodding his head against John’s shoulder.

“Christopher?” John’s confused voice sent vibrations through Alex’s side.

Lafayette squeezed Alex’s knee. “This was the first family that Little Alex lived with.” He gave Alex a questioning look, silently asking permission to share what he knew.

Alex nodded. The less he had to talk, the happier he was.

Lafayette’s tone was uncharacteristically somber. “Christopher is the man who used to beat Alex at his first foster home.”

John’s arms tightened around Alex at the French teen’s words, and Hercules let out an angry of breath.

“I had a feeling it was something like that,” Hercules muttered. He met Alex’s gaze. “Your eyes were just dead, man.” He shook his head. “Mom used to get like that when she’d be triggered by something.”

Alex wanted to just agree with Lafayette, let the moment pass without putting himself out there. He could do it—avoid the whole situation and not explain the real reason he’d had a meltdown in the middle of Jefferson’s party. He could keep silent, like he had before. The weight of the truth was heavy. He had held it close to his heart for so long Alex wasn’t really sure that he _could_ let it go.

“That wasn’t all that happened, was it, Alex?” Hercules’ question made Alex freeze. He looked at the muscled teen with narrowed eyes.

“What do you mean?” Alex’s words were loud, breaking the low tones that all the teenagers had taken when the conversation had begun.

Hercules shrugged. “You look like you have more to say.” He gave Alex a critical look. “Anyone laying a finger on you is fucked up—don’t get me wrong,” he gave the smaller teenager a promising look, “and it won’t ever happen again if I can help it.”

Alex crossed his arms over his chest under the blankets, eyes widening. “I don’t…”  He sighed, squeezing his eyes shut. “I don’t know what you want me to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything,” John reassured, his voice underlined with unease. “But Herc’s right. It won’t ever happen again.”

Lafayette nodded in agreement. “ _Oui,_ nobody—especially Lee—will lay a hand on you again.”

Alex gave Lafayette a confused look. “Lee?”

Hercules took over. “Yeah, Lee had you pressed against the window, shouting at you.” His concern was evident. “You don’t remember?” 

Alex shook his head. “No.” He paused, gathering up his courage. “I saw the window and freaked out. I was trying to follow John. There were so many people in the room I didn’t…” He trailed off.

“Oh, Alex,” John’s voice was thick with guilt. “I’m so sorry. If I would have known I—”

Alex pulled away from John, sitting up and looking the other boy in the eyes. “It wasn’t your fault. If I wasn’t such a—” 

“ _Non,_ stop right there, _mon petit lion.”_ Lafayette’s voice was stern, “There is no reason for you to call yourself names. You have suffered a trauma. It is not weak to show emotion.”

Alex looked towards the French teen with a frown. “But—”

Hercules cut him off. “Would you say my mom was weak?” 

Alex gave the boy a startled look. “Of course not.”

Hercules nodded. “Then why would you think it’s okay to call yourself names when you went through the same thing?”

Alex couldn’t help the frustration that began to ignite in his stomach. “Because they weren’t the same thing. Your mom sacrificed her safety for you; it’s different.”

“How’s it different?” Hercules challenged, prodding the boy to let loose the hurt that had been trapped with silence. “He beat you and that wasn’t okay.”

“Herc, lay off,” John broke in, trying to defuse the situation. He reached out an arm to pull Alex back into his embrace but the smaller teen shrugged him off.

“It was different,” Alex repeated angrily, his eyes alight with a fire that had been absent from his person for a long time.

“I don’t think it was. You were mistreated for no reason, Alex. That wasn’t your fault,” Hercules said gently. 

That was the final straw for Alex. He lept up from the couch, the blankets twisting as he tried to stand. “It wouldn’t have happened if I would have paid attention.” He snarled his words, heated, as he crashed to the floor. What was another bruise to his battered body?

“Alex!”

Hands reached to help him sit up but he pushed them away, rolling out of their reach and sitting up on his own. He glared at the three boys angrily, not noticing the tears that had begun to trail down his face.

Alex pounded a fist to his chest. “If I hadn’t been so stupid it wouldn’t have happened.”

“ _Mon cher,_ you are not stupid.” Lafayette tried, reaching out for Alex tentatively.

Alex shook his head, frustrated. “It was my fault.” His voice was gravelly, the emotions getting the better of him.

“You didn’t ask for him to hit you, Alex.” Hercules’ voice was warm and steady, trying to pull Alex from the edge.

Alex shook his head again, correcting him, “Yeah, I did.”

“How?” Hercules’ voice rang out clearly, his expression steely. 

Alex looked up, jolted by the sharp question. “How?” he parroted back, confused.

“Sure, how did you ask him to hit you?” Hercules challenged, trying to get the smaller boy to understand.

Alex was quiet for a minute, before deflating. The anger that had fueled his body left just as quickly as it had appeared. He looked Hercules in the eyes, his voice losing its volume.“No.”

It was Hercules’ turn to be the parrot, as he repeated with genuine confusion, “No?”

  
Alex nodded, looking towards the ground, swallowing heavily. “I said no.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well...yeah...that's it...that's all folks...
> 
> Come talk to me on [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/) for hints of my next project and to talk to me about RU
> 
> Check out all the amazing [art](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/tagged/fanart)
> 
> But...yeah...


	11. Epilogue

6 Months Later

 

Alex yawned, leaning heavily against the tree. He raised a hand against the sun, looking out towards the field where his friends were being idiots. Hercules and John were throwing the frisbee over Lafayette’s head, laughing as the French teen became more and more enraged by their teasing. Lafayette growled, tackling Hercules to the ground.

Alex shook his head, smiling at the scene. It was nice.

He looked down at his notebook, trying to recapture his train of thought. The attempt was in vain as a body collapsed beside him, a head suddenly in his lap dislodging his notebook.  

Alex scrunched up his nose in distaste, “You smell like a wet dog.”

John looked up at Alex, grinning widely. “Yeah, but I’m _your_ wet dog.” 

Alex rolled his eyes, but couldn’t help the small smile that made its way to his face. He was happy. It had been a long road to get to a point where he could feel happy without feeling guilty, but he had gotten there with the help of his friends and the Washingtons. He closed his eyes, resting his head against the tree and running a hand through John’s wild hair as the boy hummed with contentment.

0-0-0-0

Alex’s anxiety and panic attacks had happened less and less over the past few months.

It had taken a lot of goading and convincing, but at the end of the day George and Martha had convinced him to try therapy. Alex wanted to deny he needed help, but the couple had insisted he needed to see a therapist. It wasn’t until the beginning of the Atkinson trial that Alex had agreed.

During those few months when the trial was taking place, Alex could barely get out of bed. He was constantly worried, and the hot tendrils of panic that had previously bombarded him on occasion became a daily and constant struggle. When he had refused to leave the house for two weeks the Washingtons had finally taken control of the situation.

Those first few weeks were hard. Alex didn’t want to open up to a stranger, not when he felt like his life was flayed for everyone to see.

But, surprisingly, talking to someone helped. Mr. Jay was a calm man that accepted Alex’s nervous energy and worked with him until they got to the core of his trauma. With Doctor Jay’s help, Alex was now on a combination therapy of medication that helped keep his anxiety at bay.

0-0-0-0

After the trial was over, Alex felt like he could breathe. The weight that had sat heavily on his chest since coming to America had finally lifted. It felt like it was okay to smile.

John noticed the change in Alex, too. He had been infatuated with the shorter teen since laying eyes on him, but seeing him smile after the trial had ended was like seeing a rainbow after weeks of rain.

On the first day of summer, the two boys were holed up in Alex’s room, watching a movie on his bed. It was a Disney film that Hercules had recommended, something to do with cats. If you asked John what it was about he couldn’t tell you. He could, however, tell you how Alex laughed at the orange tabby cat prance across the screen, or the way his eyes were alight with joy. He could also tell you when Alex noticed his staring and when he had thrown caution to the wind and kissed him.

0-0-0-0

School went well for the rest of the year. For the most part Alex was able to distract himself with the work that classes brought. The routine helped him in the early months, and having that to fall back on during the trial was important in getting back on track.

Doctor Jay said it was good to have a routine. Accomplishing measurable things was an important part of everyday life.

Something that Alex always looked forward to was club with Jefferson. The other teen was a constant pain in the ass that Alex loved dealing with on a daily basis. Their fights at school were legendary. The hits on the blog had skyrocketed since he had joined the staff. Alex and John were a pair that could hold their own against Madison and Jefferson. Alex wasn’t ashamed to admit that he preened under the blatant favoritism that Angelica showed him during meetings. It wasn’t his fault that Jefferson was insufferable.

0-0-0-0

“What are you thinking about?” John’s curious voice broke into Alex’s silent musings.

He looked down at the boy, shrugging. “Just thinking about how happy I am.”

John sat up, crossing his legs and staring at Alex affectionately. “Yeah?”

Alex nodded, gazing out towards the sun with a smile on his face, appreciating the warmth of the summer day. A tug on his shirt had him looking down. John’s face was suddenly inches from his own.

“Hi.” John whispered.

Alex smiled back, “Hey.”

He leaned in, closing the remaining space, capturing John’s lips in a sweet embrace. A gentle breeze swept through the field, caressing the two boys gently.

“Oh my, are we interrupting?” Lafayette’s teasing voice broke into their quiet moment as he and Hercules took a seat on the grass next to them.

Hercules laughed, pulling Lafayette into his side and pecking his forehead. “Pongo found his Perdita, let them have their moment.”

Alex pulled away, laughing lightly as John groaned in protest.

John shook his head, grumbling, “I don’t get why I’m always being compared to a dog.” His annoyance ended just as fast, when Alex pulled him close and kissed the side of his head.

“My dog though right?” Alex teased.

John huffed out a laugh, “Yeah. Your dog.”

Yeah. Things were good.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just want to say thank you for everyone who went on this journey with me. This is the first story I have ever finished, the longest story I have ever written, and the most amazing reaction I have ever received. Honestly, everyone who is part of the hamfam is amazing. I love each and every one of you. We have supported each other through some crazy things and I just wanted to say Thank You. Thank you for reading this crazy brainchild of mine. Thank you for being supportive. Thank you for chatting with me everyday. 
> 
> I never thought this story would leave me feeling like I was part of a community and yet here I am, typing this message, a little teary eyed. 
> 
> So that was it. That was the end of Rise Up. I hope you enjoyed reading, because I sure as hell enjoyed writing it. Stay tuned for some oneshots that may happen at some point and for more work that I have in the back of my head. 
> 
> I love you guys, 
> 
> Ash
> 
>  
> 
> [tumblr](http://damn-man-ham-fam.tumblr.com/)

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